You. Me. Formal Wear
Buffy fanfiction; Willow fanfiction
Joss owns 'em. I'm just using them.
PG-13. Language, Adult themes.
Xander's stuck for a date to a formal gathering so he
calls on 'Old Reliable' with unexpected complications.
Note: I wrote this one for my hubby who thinks
Willow and Xander would make a great couple and asked at
the end of season six, 'Do you think they'll hook up
now?'. I figured no but in fan fic there's no reason
they can't so this one's for him.
grinned and opened the front door wider.
in, Xander. What brings you out tonight?"
home by chance?"
she's upstairs. Go 'head."
his coat off as he climbed up the stairs. The door to
Willow's room was half opened. He peered inside and he
saw her lying stretched out on the bed reading a book.
He gave a light knock to get her attention.
decent?…Damn. Clothes and everything," he joked
as he walked in.
chuckled, closing the book. "What's up?"
anything have to be up? Can't I just come visit my best
friend on a whim?"
watched as he stuffed his hands nervously into his
course you can…Now sit down and tell me what's
grinned and took a seat at the edge of the bed. "I
gotta get some new friends. You know me too well."
in the Xander fan club has its privilege." She
yeah. We've got laminated cards and everything. But I
hear Anya burned hers. Too bad. Now she'll never get
that discount at the Double Meat Palace I've been
working on securing."
reply. He simply grinned.
returned from England two months before. She was better
than when she left Xander had to admit. But still
something was missing most days. She wasn't the same.
Yet thankfully as the weeks went by, little-by-little,
she seemed to gain her confidence back. She even began
to make jokes again like she was doing now.
come a long way," he said affectionately.
do. I do say," he teased. "…It's good to see
you joking again, Will. Even if it is at my
expense…well, that's not really new though, is
especially, no," Willow answered straight-faced
before cracking a grin. "Seriously, what brings you
got this thing."
A thing, huh? 'Things' usually aren't good."
one will probably be sure to prove…It's a party. The
Contractors Association has this formal they throw every
year and guess who has to attend?"
construction workers in tuxes, standing around drinking
considered it a moment. It was designed to be a suave
affair, but in the end…"Yeah, essential." He
nodded. "Problem is, I'm a bit dateless at the
you've come to old reliable," Willow grinned.
only a few hours, Will," he started to ramble.
"We're in and out. I just need to make an
appearance, rub a few elbows and away we go."
unsure so Xander continued.
don't even have to buy anything. If you don't have
anything formal, we'll go shopping. I just need to bring
someone with me or I'll never hear the end of it. Sure,
Xander can't 'get' a date, but that doesn't mean that
Xander can't show up with one…Are you following me
here? Dateless Xander will be the joke at work for
don't even have-. What? You'll do it?"
chuckled. "Yeah. I'll do it…I don't know how much
of a conversationalist I'll be since, you know…I
haven't talked to the public at large in about 5 months,
but…I can smile and nod my head a lot. If they're as
Neanderthal as you make them sound, I'm sure they'll
love the fact your 'date' doesn't speak unless spoken
Well no, not great…Look, I don't want you thinking I'm
like that. The mindless 'seen, but not heard' gal isn't
my type. I'm not like that, Will-."
you're not," Willow said putting a hand on his
shoulder to stop him. "As if Cordi and Anya were
any indication," she muttered before speaking
louder again. "I can imagine what you put up with
from time-to-time 'from the guys'. Buffy told me about
her day on the site…But yeah, I'll do it. In fact, I
might even have a few of my formal dresses back at my
folks house. I think they'll still fit…God, I hope
they still fit…What if they don't fit? Maybe I could
loose a few inches? I mean, do I have time to lose
inches? How soon is this? Do I look fat to you?"
Willow's speech she shot to her feet and started to
examine herself in the full-length mirror. Xander walked
over and put his hands on her shoulders to calm her
look beautiful, Willow," he reassured her.
"It's two weeks from tonight. More than enough time
to get ready."
Okay," she said starting to breath again.
"Right. That gives me time. I'll go over tomorrow
and see if my mom has anything…I've still got Anya's
bridesmaid dress in the closet, but even aside from the
bad memories it might invoke it's just…green...and
poofy…and I did make a promise I wouldn't be caught
dead in it again…No offense."
she picked it out. I didn't."
showed." Willow rolled her eyes.
a date then," Xander said before suddenly feeling
awkward. "Well, not a date, but a-."
grinned and cut him off. "What time?"
here around 6:30?"
+ + + +
see what we've got here."
Willow sat at
the desk where her bed used to be. It wasn't a surprise
that the week she moved into the dorms, her room was
suddenly converted into an office for her mother. She
watched as her mom went through the closet moving each
garment after giving it careful consideration.
have your prom dress!" her mother said pulling it
little too dress Mom. I'm going for formal, not
With a sigh,
she put it back on the rack and moved it to the side.
She pulled out another gown and held it close as she
sighed. "My wedding dress. You know I always hoped
you'd wear it someday…but I guess that's not likely
and waited for the lesbian guilt trip to start.
"All aboard, train's leavin'," she muttered.
was that, dear?"
it's okay to have dreams Mom," she answered loudly
before muttering. "Not like any of yours are gonna
as her mother put that dress away to and continued her
search. "I'm so happy to hear you're going out with
Xander. He was always such a nice, young man."
going out with Xander. We're just…going to a thing.
cared much for Ox," her mother added, totally
ignoring her comment. Willow began to feel a migraine
coming on and rubbed her temples.
Mom. His nickname was Oz."
What's the difference? He just seemed a bit
untrustworthy. And, of course, we both know how that
turned out. No wonder you decided to date a woman after
that. You just have to realize sweetheart that not all
guys are like that Oz character."
certainly an exercise in patience – far worse than
anything Giles coven put her through in her Wiccan
reminded me of Buffy somehow. Secretive. Shifty eyes. Up
to no good…Actually when you told me you were a
lesbian, I figured you were carrying on with
and I are just friends. Just like Xander and I are just
could be so much more," her mom pleaded.
grinned. "Yeah, maybe you're right. Buffy's single
and she always had a cute ass."
she admonished. "I meant Xander."
Willow had to
smile at her mother's shocked expression. "I know
what you meant mother. I'm just hoping to drop this
for? We never talk to each other. Don't you think a
mother and daughter should talk about these
mother and daughter should. However, we're the exception
to the rule, okay?"
to talk. You would come home on the weekends. Next thing
I know, you're seeing that shy Tara girl and you're
never around. She turned you into a recluse,
Willow said rising to her feet and walking over.
"We're treading on thin ice here because I am not
up for a Tara discussion slash defilement. Please?"
Willow warned. "If you honestly love me, or even
care about me in the slightest, you won't
pursed her lips and nodded. "I'm sorry sweetheart.
I know you're still hurting. I just-."
what's best for me. I know. But right now, not talking
about Tara would be best, okay? . . . Now is there
anything else left in there," she said pointing to
watched as her mother pulled out her black Senior
Homecoming Dress. The Xander dress she'd nicknamed it.
She remembered it quite well. She wore it for a total of
two minutes before Xander kissed her for the first time.
She remembered the dress, but she was sure there was no
way that he would remember.
her mother said 'selling it'. "It's slick, a little
sexy, perfect for cocktail hour."
Oh what the
hell. The sooner I pick something the sooner I get outta
this will do," Willow replied taking it from her.
"I'd stick around, but I've got the college course
books to go over."
glad you're trying to get back into school this
something we agree on. I'll give you a call next
to make her way out the door when her mother yelled for
her to zip up her coat before she went outside. With a
sigh, she did.
+ + + +
the only woman I know who can get a date without leaving
the house and with someone you don't have the slightest
bit of interest in romantically."
chuckled and watched Buffy putting the finishing touches
on her hair. She was going to leave it down, but Buffy
told her she absolutely, positively had to wear it up.
She asked why. Her answer, according to Buffy, was it
was an unspoken rule that formal meant hair up and
kissable neck. Willow pointed out that kissing wasn't
really an option in this case and kissable neck in
Sunnydale could mean kiss of death, but Buffy insisted,
so Willow let Buffy have her way.
it's not a date really. It's just a 'Willow/Xander going
out for the evening' thing."
is it that he didn't ask me? At least he's got some
chance of scoring if he'd asked me. Yes, slim to none,
but still…Is there something wrong with me?"
nothing wrong with you Buffy," Willow reassured
her. "It's just that this thing is at night, and
you know…you've got prior engagements every
patrol gig…Think it's possible that I can just…
retire? Maybe get a house, a hubby, two kids and a dog?
Maybe a cat? Hell, I'd settle for goldfish…Maybe I
could be, I don't know, normal for a change?"
or not, I think you'll always be exceptional,"
Willow said sincerely.
her hands on Willow's shoulders and gave her a squeeze
of thanks before pulling Willow to her feet.
this is exceptional," Buffy said pointing to Willow
in the mirror. "I think Xander's gonna flip. Date
or not, he'll have the most beautiful gal in Sunnydale
on his arm."
but he doesn't have a prayer." A mischievous look
crossed Willow's face and she grabbed Buffy by the hips,
pulling her a bit closer. "However, just say the
word and I'll blow him off. We can go dancing
instead," she wiggled her eyebrows for emphasis.
look pretty damn fetchin', Will. I might just take you
up on that," Buffy winked playfully before they
both began to giggle. Buffy stepping out of the embrace
and moving to her knees to make sure all the hems at the
bottom were straight and flat, as she made Willow turn
around in a circle.
Buffy!" Dawn called from downstairs. "Xander's
here. And he looks hot!"
Willow grinned as the heard the muffled chastising
Xander gave Dawn.
be right down," Buffy turned toward the door and
shouted. She turned back to Willow and looked her over
once more. "Ready to make him sweat?"
chuckled. "Gotta get it over with at some point,
out first and saw Xander at the bottom of the stairs.
"May I present Lady Willow," she said with a
grand sweeping gesture of her arms.
stepped out of the room and swatted her. "Knock it
off," she laughed. "Hi Xander," Willow
waved before making her way down the stairs. She was
almost to the landing when his voice stopped her.
the fluke dress," he said, taking her in from head
to toe. Willow blushed at his appraising eye and took a
sudden interest in looking at her high heels.
didn't think you'd remember."
remember," he said softly. "Or I should say,
how could I forget?"
well…I had to get out of my mom's house. She wanted to
play 'Analyze Willow' so I just grabbed it and got the
heck outta there. I'm sorry. I guess I should have
picked something else but-."
No," Xander said quickly, his mouth a bit agape. He
quickly shut it and smiled. "Same dress. Different
know," she said dejectedly.
not a bad thing, Will. I loved that Willow and I love
this one too."
so sure about that?" she said looking up.
nodded. "In high school you were lovely girl. Now,
you're a beautiful woman."
For a moment,
he considered that maybe he overstepped his bounds, but
suddenly he didn't care. He meant every word and at this
point in her life, he knew Willow needed all the
reassurances she could get.
with the jokes, Xan," Willow answered, trying to
brush him off.
there just looking at each other and Dawn glanced up to
Buffy with a puzzled expression. Buffy just grinned and
shrugged. Willow realized she was staring and shook it
off, finishing her way down the stairs. She straightened
Xander's tie, although it was perfect. "You're
looking pretty sharp yourself. I think Dawn's appraisal
was pretty accurate."
hoping you didn't hear that." He grinned before
shooting Dawn a disapproving glare, which only made her
smile larger. He crooked his arm to Willow. "Shall
on her dress coat not bothering to button it. She was
sure it was because of some deep-rooted defiance of her
mother. She took Xander's arm.
tonight," she told the Summer's girls as Xander
opened their door for their departure. Once on the
porch, Buffy shouted out to them.
have her home by midnight, young man," she warned
before starting to grin.
smiled and walked to Xander's car. As soon as Buffy shut
the door, Dawn rushed over.
what was THAT all about?"
Buffy grinned. "Just two friends going out."
I'm 15 and not very 'worldly', but did you see that look
that Xander gave Willow. And did you see the way
saw it all Dawn. What's your point?"
considered it. "No point really."
And be sure to leave Willow alone when she comes home.
Dawn gave a
defeated sigh. "Fine. But it would be nice to know
that at least someone in this house is dating."
+ + + +
Xander. I see you made it. Come on over."
down to Willow. "My foreman, Dan Thomas," he
is this beautiful young woman you've been hiding."
Willow Rosenberg. Will, this is Dan, my foreman."
He picked up
Willow's hand and gave it a gentle kiss. "Pleased
to meet you. This is my wife, Nancy," he said
pulling the woman next to him into his hip.
exchanged pleasantries before Dan handed Xander a beer
and asked if Willow would like something.
thank you. I'm fine," she told him.
and polite," he nodded to Xander. "She's a
keeper…How long have you been together?"
uncomfortable and turned to Willow before trying to
explain. "Well, we're not-."
each other actually," Willow said stopping Xander.
"Truth is we've known each other our whole lives.
But we just recently started going out…to formal
parties and such." Willow grinned, hoping that
would be enough.
so sweet," Nancy added. "Isn't that sweet,
dear?" she asked her husband. "Sounds a bit
like us. We'd been in the same circle of friends and
dated a variety of people. But you know what they say.
You always save the best for last."
Willow both gave an awkward chuckle.
make such an attractive couple," Nancy went on.
grinned up at Xander and he knew what the grin meant. It
read, 'Get me away from this woman right now.'
the attractive couple is quite hungry," Xander said
in a friendly voice. "I think we're gonna head up
the buffet if you don't mind."
go right ahead. A young pair like you need your energy,
I'm sure," she said as she winked.
meet you," Xander nodded to Nancy before turning to
his boss. "Dan," he said respectfully giving
another nod before leading Willow away by the elbow.
were out of earshot, Xander leaned down to Willow.
"I am so sorry to put you through that."
started to chuckled and slapped him on his chest
lightly. "Forget about it," she told him.
"I just couldn't keep it up much longer."
this certainly falls under the 'I owe Willow big time'
category…Nice save back there too by the way," he
know we should have come up with a story BEFORE we got
here," she told him.
you're the brains of this duo," he teased.
"Why didn't you think of it?"
I'm out of practice being a straight girl, okaaay?"
she said softly.
give you a refresher."
The deep, sly
tone of Xander's voice almost made Willow drop her
plate, but Xander steadied it. At first, he was going to
apologize, but he just couldn't – he knew that
somewhere, deep inside, he meant it.
you looking at me like that?" Willow asked, shying
away, turning toward the table under the guise of trying
to find the perfect piece of roasted chicken.
what?" Xander asked.
if…" Willow answered quickly as her brain
finished with 'you want to undress me'. Instead she
sighed, "I don't know." She didn't have the
courage to say the words.
his head. This was crazy. This was preposterous. This
fluke," Xander whispered quickly to her. "It's
gotta be that dress. It's got some goofy sexual karma
all over it. I'm telling you. You have to burn that
ever for? If I ever decide to give men a chance again,
and make my mother oh so happy in the process, I'll need
some ammo," she chuckled.
mean to tell me when you saw me tonight you had no
stopped as Willow continued down the line. When she saw
he wasn't following, she looked back.
maybe there was a little reaction," she admitted
with a blush.
See?" Xander said waving his finger. "It is
when we get home you can put it on and we'll see how
worked up I get."
It came out
as an insult or a challenge, but once she heard how
ridiculous it sounded and created a mental picture of
Xander wearing the black number, she had to laugh.
whatever works, baby," he told her in mock
seduction as he swaggered over.
grinned and nodded to a table. "Get your food and
followed and they took a seat at a vacant table.
"Aren't formals supposed to be sit down affairs?
You know, where they give you five different folks and
spoons and you don't know which ones to use?"
this is formal by construction workers standards,"
Willow told him "But at least we're not
overdressed. Lots of penguin suits and evening gowns. We
So now I'm a penguin," Xander sighed.
Dawn's right. You look very hot. It's the rest of 'em
that look like penguins."
grinned, "Hot, huh?"
to face Xander with her come and get me grin. At least
that's what Tara always called it. She didn't even
realize she was capable of such a thing until Tara
pointed it out. With the thought of Tara, the grin fell
but she tried to put it back in place. Only this time it
came out more awkward. Xander's gaze on her was intense,
but still she couldn't look away.
food's gonna get cold," she told him. "We
relived when Xander broke away first and looked at his
plate. "Suppose you're right," he answered.
She gave a
small sigh when he picked up his fork and she proceeded
to do the same. They ate in an uncomfortable silence;
unsure of what to say next, both of them wondering what
the hell just happened.
Xander figured he just read it wrong. The look was just
friendly, playful Will – teasing him like always. But
why did it pull at him from the inside out. He watched
her drinking, the way her lips moved. Suddenly he was
back in high school again and he remembered what those
lips felt like. Of all the girls and women Xander had
kissed, Willow was definitely the best.
that was just because it was forbid that made it so
appealing. She was Oz's. He belonged to Cordelia. But
still, even as the years went by he wondered about those
lips from time to time.
began to settle into her dorm and college life with Oz.
As for himself, he started seeing Anya. They both had
lovers in their lives and somehow managed to keep their
friendships in tact despite the liaison between them.
But after Oz left and Xander saw how devastated Will
took it all, he wondered again…He never told Anya or
Buffy and he certainly didn't tell Willow.
went and Will seemed to cheer up. She had a new friend
to do witchcraft with…at the time he only knew the
half the story.
again, even as he walked away from the wedding altar if
the reason wasn't deeper than just his fear of
commitment. Maybe it was Willow. But again, he dismissed
it. He knew he loved Anya and he did want to be with
her. Besides, Willow was still hoping to patch things up
with Tara. He couldn't step in and confuse her, and
him… and… everyone for that matter.
things were different.
going to come back to him and Tara…well she wasn't
coming back either. Xander realized as he sat there with
cold potatoes on his fork that for the first time in
their adult lives they were both finally free. No
commitments. No ties. And suddenly he felt nervous.
Did he really
want Willow romantically? Would she even consider him? Okay,
the gay thing is a hurdle, he thought as he sat
watching her. But maybe Nancy's right. Maybe you do
save the best for last. He shook his head. This
is just crazy. There was no way, no how, that I can
clear that 'hurdle'. Will finally found herself and
you're not gonna mess it up now.
okay?" Willow asked.
just shook your head. Are you okay?"
that…yeah, I'm fine…just thinking," Xander
Do I share?
Do I tell her the truth? And what is the truth really?
thinking about you. Where we've been… stuff like
you're not gonna break out any yellow crayon speechs,
are you? I might start crying again and that's not good
on the mascara," she teased bumping shoulders.
promise," he grinned.
washed over her as she looked at him.
I haven't said it yet… but thank you. Yeah, you saved
the world," she said in a teasing ho-hum voice
before turning serious again. "But you saved me
too. And I never official thanked you. So thank you,
thanks needed, Will," he assured her. "It was
a self-preservation thing, if you want the truth. I
honestly don't know what I'd do if I didn’t have you
in my life."
Willow was on
the verge of tearing up. "Now you promised not to
make me cry."
grinned and moved in close to Willow, kissing her
lightly on the cheek. "No tears, I promise."
move away immediately as she was expecting and the
longer he stayed the more tense Willow felt. But she
took a deep breath that calmed her. Besides, his words
were warm against her cheek and soon she subconsciously
found herself turning her head toward his lips that just
graced her moments before. It seemed like forever as
their lips hovered close to one another, barely
touching, their breath mingling.
them knew when it happened, but somehow Xander's hand
cupped Willow's other cheek.
missed you so much when you were gone, Will," he
confessed. "We've never been apart that long…
her eyes. Her whole body felt like it was on fire but it
I'm here now," she told him softly.
fingertips teased a few locks of fallen hair as his
thumb began to caress her cheekbone. "Please, don't
ever leave me again," he said softly.
Willow was about to say was lost as Xander's lips closed
the distance, lightly snaring Willow's. For the briefest
of moments he considered pulling back but he
remembered… he remembered how wonderfully she kissed.
At first, there was no reaction, but the second time his
lips returned he felt her rise up, connecting with him
and a jolt of surprise, mixed with joy, shot through his
entire body. Willow wasn't as good a kisser as he
remembered…she was better. And he didn't want to stop.
He returned a
third time, but now he simply claimed her bottom lip. He
felt her open her mouth slightly and it was all the
invitation he needed. Lightly, his tongue snaked out to
lick her top lip and he felt her take the first real
initiative by opening up fuller and nipping at the
extended muscle. The next sensation he felt was Willow's
hand resting on his thigh before giving a light squeeze.
Harris! Get a room!"
broke them quickly apart. Xander looked up briefly to
see his construction buddy, Eddy, holding a plate of
food. But just as quick, he shot a look over to Willow
who sat staring at her plate on the verge of what looked
like hyperventilation. She shot up to her feet.
are you okay?" Xander asked.
I'm f-fine…,I just…,Gotta… Go away for ah… a
second," she said lamely. "Excuse me,"
she said in a rush as she darted from the table.
considered giving chase, but he knew he wouldn’t be
able to stand up anytime soon. Not with the effect
Willow had on his body at the moment. There's no way he
could convince her they could be friends with a raging
erection. And he didn't know if he even wanted to try to
convince her otherwise.
a lucky guy, Harris. She's sexy as hell. Where'd you
snag her?" Eddy asked, taking a seat on the other
side of the round table. "Oh hey. Don't mind if I
sit here, do ya?"
sighed. He figured Willow wouldn't be back anytime soon.
"Knock yourself out," Xander told him before
looking to the area that Willow just fled to.
Willow had to
tell herself to breath. She paced in the foyer when she
spotted a pay phone. She reached for her pocket and
quickly realized she had no pockets. Her purse was still
at the table and there was no way she was going back
there. Not yet anyway. She saw the coat check girl and
borrow some change?" she asked, pointing back to
the phone. "I left my purse at the table. I'll pay
thing," she said as she handed Willow two quarters.
Willow replied before dashing over to dial the phone.
be home. Please be home. Please be home," she
muttered as she listened to the ring.
is Buffy around?"
Dawn didn't say anything. She could hear an urgency in
Willow's voice and she paused trying to figure it out.
"She just walked out the back door."
Dawn put the phone down and yell out the back door. She
heard muffled talking, but couldn't make out the words.
A few moments later she heard someone pick the phone up.
wrong, Will?" Buffy asked. "You okay?"
hurt? Is Xander hurt?"
Willow had to
remind herself she was talking to the Slayer and the ten
thousand urgent scenarios that were playing through
Buffy's mind had nothing to do with the actual events of
her hysteria. "No. No one's hurt… I…
tell me what's wrong?" Buffy urged.
I'm sorry to scare you. Everyone is fine and now that I
think about it I really don't know why I called
feel totally stupid now because it's not a matter of
life and death. It's pretty bizarre, yes, but-."
She took a
deep breath. "He kissed me, Buffy. I mean… kissed
me, not kissed me, but… kissed me… You know?"
saying he kissed you?"
Willow answered again softly.
Well… damn… Okay, it's not a huge deal. Just tell
kissed him back."
kissed him back?"
and quickly realized that Buffy couldn't see her. She
was flustered beyond belief. "Yes," she said
softly. "I mean… we were talking. You know, how
people talk, and he said he missed me. I told him I was
here now and the next thing I know…"
Willow's deep sigh over the phone. "And?"
where is he now? Where are you?"
a payphone at the hall. He's back at the table, talking
to the friend that interrupted us. At least, I think he
is. I mean, I really don't know. I took off so quick. I
didn't look back… What am I gonna do Buffy?"
what do you want to do?"
her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose between her
eyes. She didn't want to start crying. "I don't
wanna lose my friend."
hear Willow's distress on the other end of the phone.
"Listen to me Will. You're not gonna lose your
friend, okay? Xander wouldn't hold it against you. He
knows what you've been through and chances are he's at
that table wondering the same thing right now. So just
go back, sit down and have a heart-to-heart talk with
him. Be honest and tell him the truth."
what is the truth?" she asked. "I don’t even
know where to begin. It's just… It's so
doesn't have to be. Tell him you're gay now."
what if I'm not. What if… What if I never really got
over him? If that's the case, then it means that Anya
and Tara were right."
now you're losing me," Buffy confessed.
an exasperated sigh. "Anya always thought that
someday I'd go after Xander again and Tara… Tara and I
had an argument once where she thought maybe she was
just an experiment and once it was over I'd go back to 'Boysville'
gonna cut to the chase, Willow. Anya's history and
Tara's…Tara's gone. And I don't mean anything
derogatory by saying that. It's sad, yes, but that's
simply the way it is. You have to live your life on your
terms, no one else's. I know that Tara wasn't an
experiment. You did love her – truly. But I know you
care for Xander too. You never judged people on
exteriors, ever. It always what's on the inside that
matters to you. So 'Boysville' or not, do what makes you
happy…Does that make sense?"
makes perfect sense, but…I made promises to them
Buffy…to both of them actually and…If anything
happens between Xander and me then it means I lied to
maybe they saw something that was there all along,"
Buffy countered. "It was just something that you
couldn't imagine…Can I ask you a question?"
love, Xander? I know you guys love each other but… Do
you see anything in him beyond friendship?"
thought I past all that," Willow replied.
yeah, you did…but you didn't answer my question. Not
really. Do you see-?"
tonight…Oh Hell maybe he's right. Maybe it is just a
clothes fluke. Maybe this dress does have bad Karma.
Ethan probably sold it to me."
Buffy laugh and the more Willow thought about it she had
to chuckle too.
Will," Buffy said getting serious. "I've gotta
patrol, but I'll make it a short night. I'll be here
when you get back and we can talk then. But until that
time, go talk to Xander. See what he has to say about
all this. Then you can start to decide what's what.
grinned. "Thanks, Buffy. I mean that."
welcome. And I'll be here when you get back. Scouts
honor. Just go have fun. You both need a night
true," she answered. "I'll see you
up and took a deep breath and straightened her
shoulders. She could do this. She could walk back in
there and speak to Xander. After all, it was just
Xander. She knew she could always talk to Xander in the
end and that wouldn't change after tonight she resolved.
Without waiting any longer she headed back into the
She could see
the fellow still at their table eating when Xander
noticed her returning. He turned briefly to the intruder
before rising up and making his way over to meet her.
I've been thinking about what to say since you left
let me say this. If I don't I might not have the courage
to say it again," he paused and Willow didn't
interrupt. "I'm sorry that I upset you. But I'm not
sorry that I kissed you. And I know that you've made the
choice that you don't want to date men. That's fine. But
I guess I have to wonder why you made that choice. I
mean…you fell in love with Tara because of who she
was. You weren't looking for a woman, but you found one.
I guess…I mean, I hoped…I hoped you'd still feel the
same way. You know, that if you found the right person
that the package wouldn't matter. And regardless of
anything else tonight…No matter what choices you may
or may not make -. And I'm not saying that you have to
make a choice right now, this second… I'm just… I
don't know what I'm saying…Just remember, I'll be
there for you no matter what. Just like always."
to see if he would add anything more. When all he did
was shift uncomfortable from foot to foot, she figured
he was finished. And she realized that somewhere in his
babble, he made some sense. She didn't go looking for
Tara and she didn’t close her mind to the possibility
of loving her. Maybe, if it was real and genuine and not
a clothes fluke, just maybe, she could love Xander too.
my turn now?" she asked.
each of his lapels in a firm grasp and Xander found his
hands naturally taking residence on her hips. "I'll
be there too. Always," she told him. "But if
this is just a clothes fluke, you gotta know… I can't
wear this every single day of my life. The dry cleaning
bill alone would kill me," she grinned. "But
seriously, Xander. I can't look like this everyday and
if it's just the 'package' that Buffy put together that
you want then-."
turn to let me finish."
sheepishly. "Sorry. Continue."
she smiled. "If you only notice me when I'm gussied
up, then I'm not sure I'm the right one for you. I was a
Plain Jane in England most of the time. I guess what I'm
driving at is… you can't just want me because it's
physical. Does that make any sense?"
does, but it's okay to want you physically too, right? I
mean, I'm allowed to look when you... look like this
right? Because I'll be honest…It's physical tonight,
but… it really is more than that."
the rush of scoring with the unattainable lesbian? Just
like the unattainable cheerleader? Or the unattainable
Xander answered. "Well… maybe there's a little
rush there," he acknowledged with a guilty grin.
what I thought," Willow said letting go and trying
to step away. Xander, however, wouldn’t let her go.
goes beyond that, Will. I meant what I said earlier. I
missed you… All of you. Of course evil and veiny,
wasn't much of treat. That goes without saying…But
yeah, Will… all of you – darkness and light. We've
all got those sides and I wanna share ours
about Anya?" Willow asked. "She was always
afraid of something like this happening."
what is happening here?" Xander asked.
Willow gave a
sigh. "I'm not sure. I'm pretty confused right
now... about everything."
what do you know or…what do you think you know…for
sure I mean?"
considered the question and she knew the answer
immediately. "That I love you. Not necessarily
lusty, naked love you, but…I love you. You're kind…
and gentle… and brave… and humble… and okay maybe
there's a little lusty thoughts because you do look
hot…Anyway, I could go on all night."
do." Xander smiled.
Willow had to
chuckle at that point. "Seriously, there're lots of
reasons why I love you. And that's one thing I know for
sure. I also know I don't want to screw it up somehow
and lose that love. I came so close before Xander and I
don’t wanna ever feel that way again. It's scary and
it's… lonely… When it comes right down to it…
you're all I ever really had… my whole life, you've
been the only constant thing in my existence. I mean I
can't even say that about my parents."
please. Let's not talk about parents. I've got you beat
I'll give you that," Willow chuckled. "But
really, Xander. All I know right now is that I love you
and I'm scared."
too," Xander confessed. His hands reached up
cupping her face while his thumbs gently caressed her
cheeks. "But I need to know if you're the one I've
been waiting for. I think you are, Willow. You've been
here the entire time, but… life just kinda got in the
road blocks now? Is what you're saying?"
Xander cocked his head, listening behind him as Willow
looked to the DJ.
just say our names?" Xander asked.
on," the DJ said over the loud speaker.
"Where's Willow and Xander? Don't be shy."
god," Willow muttered. "Now what did we
on," Xander said taking her hand, leading her
toward the dance floor.
the DJ announced. "I've got a special request for
you two from Nancy. Enjoy."
Best For Last' by Vanessa Williams began to play and
Willow shot Xander a look.
really don't like that woman," she chuckled
could be worse. She might have had them play that
'Colors of the Wind' song instead," he joked before
posing himself to dance.
stepped lightly into the embrace and the two began to
rock back and forth.
looking at the bright side of things, huh, Xander?"
he smiled down.
After a few
moments of swaying Willow asked, "What are we going
one step at a time. You set the pace. Just remember that
I do want to keep moving forward. And I must say, at
some point during this evening, I do plan on kissing you
ended and Willow stopped moving. With more assurance
this time, she reached up and pulled Xander's head down
and kissed him softly. It was gentle, but he felt the
resolution behind it. Willow wanted to explore this too
and he felt a flutter pass over his entire being. The
clapping and 'ahhh's' in the room brought them back to
the moment and Willow grinned as she pulled back to look
know something?" she asked.
my best friend."
steam ahead, huh?"
step at a time?"
her fingers through Xander's hair by his temple and
rounded his ear. "I'll try to make you happy."
always do, Will. Always."
slipped out of his embrace and pulled him along with her
to the table picking up her purse. "Wanna go do
guys leaving already?" Eddy asked as he finished
off his meal.
just got here," he replied.
we did just get here," Xander told him as he
grinned at Willow. "But I've got years to catch up
returned the smile and hand in hand they left the hall.