Episode: Amphipolis Under Siege
Subtext report, Xena Fanfiction, Xena and
Note: Many of these reports are littered with errors
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Amphipolis Under Siege
I love Gabby. Have
I mentioned that? I’m never sure so I like to check. ;)
Why did I love
Gabby in this ep? Is it because she was smart? Could it be
because she just looked good out there kicking a little
warrior butt? Could it be because of her overprotective nature
of Xena, going so far as to threaten the god of war? It could
be all of these things I’m sure . . . But I’ll be shallow
and just say it’s because she’s extremely hot. (VBG)
This tales opens
when some highwaymen – well they look like highwaymen -
trying to stop this warrior woman to collect a toll. She’s
pretty shinny in her silver outfit and if you ask me it’s
not real practical for battle since the enemy could see you a
mile away. Anyhow, they try to collect from her and she calls
out her archers (equally gaudy dressed of course) and they
shoot the men.
But enter the
warrior princess with her old leathers (WooHoo!!) and long
version of her battlecry. (Double WooHoo!). Gabby stands back
in the bushes holding Eve (Xena actually let Gabrielle HOLD
the baby – THAT’S a step in the right direction if you ask
me). She’s bouncing Eve and telling her that her momma’s
working so they have to be quiet (Ahhhhh….isn’t that sweet
(BG)). Xena kicks the gaudy dressed warrior gals butts and
faces off against the commander. When Xena gets in a good
strike to the commanders face they all retreat. Xena knows
Ares must be trying to get the road to Amphipolis because
he’s trying to extort her. Ares appears however and says
that’s not the case. Other Gods have Xena at the top of
their poop list. Xena rips the arrow from the man’s chest
and sees that it’s Athena’s mark – the goddess of wisdom
and warfare (and as Xena points out to Ares – weaving too (LOL)
The ‘weaving’ scene, which comes later in the story, is
exactly the ‘dry’ comedy of X:WP that I enjoy and has been
lacking so much in recent years. RJ headed this one so I’m
starting to have a little faith – not a lot but a little(G)).
Back at Athena’s
camp, she finds out that Xena is the one who got the strike in
on her ‘babydoll’. Now this is maintext folks. The
warrior, Alanis, is Athena’s favorite and it’s obviously
not just in the ways of war by the conversation they have and
the light caress after Athena heals her wound. Alanis says she
will kill Xena and Eve for Athena but Athena says it’s her
fight, adding that the most dangerous animal is a mother
protecting its young. Apparently, Athena hasn’t watched any
Xena episodes because she would know that Xena is a dangerous
animal regardless of motherhood (VBG).
The gals reach
Amphipolis and are meet with Xena's mother, Cyrene. Xena is
trying to tell her mom of the impending problem but Cyrene is
too wrapped up in her granddaughter to pay much attention. I
like Cyrene. She’s a stop and smell the flowers kinda gal
like Najara – but she doesn’t chop people up (well except
for Xena’s dad (G) ) and she doesn’t hear strange voices
in her head telling her she has to ‘possess’ Gabrielle.
Alanis and Athena
are plotting their next move when Ares shows up to offer his
advice on the Amphipolis attack. Athena tells him to get lost.
She thinks that the town will gladly turn over Eve.
Xena is speaking to
the town telling them the situation. A man says they’ve
heard of Eli’s teaching and Xena’s kid and they agree to
help her. But Athena appears during the meeting and tries to
scare the crowd by saying they need her for survival. When
that doesn’t work she tries a guilt trip by saying how much
she’s looked after them – yeah right, like when Cortese
came to town, right sister? Get real. No one’s buying it.
Cyrene tells the goddess she’s lost a son and a grandson so
she’s not about to have this child taken away too. She
starts to sing ‘the Amphipolis song’ and the town joins
in. In a huff and a glittering shower of gold Athena takes off
saying she gave them a chance and they’ve made their choice.
Gabrielle is in the
trench with the villagers. They begin an artillery fire on
Athena’s troops and Gabrielle orders the charge. The troops
and villagers engage. Gabby has a spear that she’s using as
a staff and kicking lots of Athena warrior’s butts.
Athena and Alanis
are discussing the battle. Xena isn’t on the field with
Gabrielle. Alanis thinks it’s because Xena has faith in the
bard. Athena says she doesn’t doubt that but she thinks
something is going on. Xena wouldn’t just leave the bard out
there in a frontal assault. Xena fears losing Gabrielle too
much for that and she wouldn’t put her ‘companion’ in
harm’s way. In the meantime, the villagers are getting
nervous since Xena isn’t there. Gabby says not to worry but
soon she starts yelling for Xena.
leaving Gabrielle out there. In fact she’s organizing a
flank from the under workings of the town with a group of
villages. Alanis meets Xena in the tunnel and tells her that
Gabrielle is going to be crushed. Xena won’t be able to help
her. Xena basically says get lost. When Alanis rolls out some
barrels of ‘Greek fire’ Xena’s eyes get as big as pie
pans and she orders a retreat. Xena warns Alanis that she
doesn’t want to do that. But does she listen? Nooooooo…The
villagers take off and Alanis sets the barrels in motion. Xena
starts running for her life with a huge fireball behind her.
She slices the wood above her creating a barrier. When the
fire has nowhere to go but up, it causes an explosion on the
battlefield that blows up Athena’s troops (so much for the
goddess of Wisdom huh?(BG) ) and knocks Gabby to the ground.
Gabrielle sees the
turn of events and says ‘Not what I was expecting’ (again
another good ‘comedy’ moment). It wasn’t what she
expected but she’d take it anyway. She calls everyone back
to the trenches as what’s left of Athena’s forces
Xena and Gab meet
back at the village. Gabby tells Xena to take some of the
armor they got from Athena’s men and leave with Eve. Xena,
says if she leaves it won’t matter Athena is out for revenge
at this point. Athena's archers start an air assault and get
in some lucky shots. Alanis takes aim on a child to bring Xena
out of cover trying to protect her. But they group retreats
before Alanis gets a shot at Xena.
appears to just Xena and tells her to give up the child. She
can’t win and it’s only a matter of time and…oh…by the
way…. ‘I poisoned the water supply’. Athena vanishes.
And Xena hears Eve cry. Cyrene is seeing to her and tells Xena
it’s just a wet diaper. Xena thanks her mom for standing up
to the gods. Cyrene says she’s a mom – she can face
anything. And she want’s Xena to have that same joy by
watching Eve grow.
Xena then decides
to go to Ares temple. She summons him and tells him she wants
to go with the deal. She’ll have him if he’ll save Eve. As
always he’s wondering ‘What's in it for me?’. She says
he’d get his warrior queen he always wanted. He’d be a
father to Eve and his legacy would go on. But Ares isn’t
THAT dumb. Xena’s offering things up way to easy to him for
his taste. He says he can’t believe her and Xena points out
when has she lied or not kept her word. Ares replies that’s
true but Xena has a way of one upping him.
In the trenches two
men are talking and one of them makes a point that they could
just end it and give Eve to Athena. Gabby hears him and she
grabs him by the scruff and tells him to get a clue more or
less. She asked if anyone else feels the same – if anyone
else would be willing to turn his or her child over. In their
silence the troops agree. They are doing the right thing by
protecting Eve. Gabby, the bard, the words before weapons
warrior is back. She could have kicked that guys butt but she
turned it around with a speech. Very nicely done and much more
like the Gabby I’ve come to know and love. No…she’s not
season one or two Gabby…but damn it…she’s fundamentally
the same in this episode and that’s what I haven’t seen
this season. Another point to RJ in my opinion.
herself and yells for Ares. He shows up rather quickly since
we all know how much he hates the irritating blonde. (VBG)
Gabby warns him that she knows about the deal. She’s not
very please and if he so much as lays a hand on Xena
she’ll…. Ares taunts Gabrielle since she doesn’t finish
by asking her just what would she do. Gabrielle tells him
he’ll turn Xena into the warlord she once was. Ares said he
liked that Xena. Gabby points out that Ares seems to like the
‘new Xena’ just as much since he’s so preoccupied with
her. He then asks Gabby if Xena would lie to him. Gab points
out that Xena always keeps her word. He grins confident in the
fact that he’s got Xena just where he wants her and
disappears. Gabby realizes she just talked Ares into taking
the offer. Opps! Silly bard (VBG).
Ares goes to Athena
to try to call things off. Ares offers to take Xena and child
to another dimension where they won’t pose a threat. Athena
isn’t buying it and Ares goes back to his temple in a huff.
There he sees Xena’s clothes and weapons scattered about.
Ares follows them to a goblet. He picks it up but before he
can drink he sees Xena on his sofa wrapped in a fur. She asks
him "Are we gonna seal this deal?". He sounds like a
pubescent teenager as he squawks his reply, trying to act
casually. He walks over dropping his weapons, going for the
Xena however wants
to go over the rules and stops his advance. When everything is
settled Xena throws
him to the sofa with an oaf. She lunges on top of him, bites
his nipple and kisses him. Suddenly she pulls back. She says
she heard something. Ares didn’t hear anything and starts
again. Xena stops again and says it sounds like a battle. Ares
again…. hears nothing. Suddenly a loud crash and a hole
appears in the temple. Moments later Xena sees her mom
standing there with Eve. Xena tells her mom it’s not what it
looks like. Ares says yes it is. (LOL). Cyrene gives her
credit. After all Ares is a god but someone like Hermes would
have made a better choice. Of course Ares is put off big time
and debates Cyrene’s choice of sexy gods.(LOL)
Cyrene says that
she came to tell Xena that Gabrielle attacked Athena's troops
and the war is starting in town. Xena gets up and gets her
leathers into place while Ares is telling her that the three
of them now have the chance to leave since Gabrielle began the
battle. Xena says she has to help Gabrielle. Ares says,
"Leave her." Xena doesn’t reply but she’s far
from pleased with that idea. She tells Ares, "I have to
do this my way." Ares figured as much and he watches Xena
Athena and her
girltoy are watching Gabrielle beating the stuffing out of
Athena’s troops. Athena wants Gabby out of the picture. And
in order to break Xena’s spirit she’ll kill the bard.
Alanis takes aim but Athena watches as Xena walks through the
battle, carrying Eve. Athena orders her troops to stand down.
Gabby sees Xena and rushes to her. She asks Xena what she
thinks she's doing. Xena says she’s not going to watch the
village die because of this child and pushes Gabby out of the
way. Gabrielle can’t believe what she’s watching but she
follows behind the warrior.
Xena places Eve on
the ground before Athena. Athena tells Xena she might want to
look away but Xena says she wants to remember it all and
refuses. Athena looks a bit apprehensive but Xena tells her if
she’s going to do it, to do it now while the baby is asleep.
Athena raises her sword to strike but Ares appears. Athena
tells Ares that he’s ‘whipped’ and the two of them start
to fight. Gabrielle orders another attack and villagers come
out of hiding and take on the masses. Alanis finds Xena and
the two of them fight near Athena and Ares.
Xena does the
warrior thing and gets that cocky grin on her face while she
taunts Alanis about her fighting prowess (WooHoo!! NOW
THAT’S THE XENA I REMEMBER!!(LOL) Point three to RJ). Alanis
gets a little P.O.ed and opens up on Xena. She manages to pin
Xena and put her sword against the warrior’s throat.
Athena for her part
is doing a good job of kicking Ares @ss. She asks if Ares is
worried about his girlfriend. Ares replies "Oh no. Not at
all. . . Are you worried about your girlfriend?" Athena
turns to see Xena get the upper hand on Alanis and stab her in
the gut. Athena races over to Alanis. She tells her champion
that the wound is too sever for her to heal. Alanis accepts
that and asks if she’s still Athena’s favorite even though
she wasn’t victorious. Athena tells her girlfriend that she
never let her down. With that, Alanis dies. Athena warns Ares
that the gods are gonna go next. Athena cradles Alanis and
lovingly kisses her on the forehead before they both
The troops move out
and the town starts to celebrate. Ares tells Xena not so fast.
He helped save Eve so Xena owes him. Xena hands Eve to Ares to
reveal a doll. You saved my dolly, Xena tells him. (LOL)
He’s not happy to be duped again but that’s life.
Gabrielle asked if ‘anything happened’ between them. Xena
said no. Ares can’t believe Xena didn’t feel anything. But
Xena stays steadfast and answers no. Pissed, he leaves.
Xena says that
perhaps she felt ‘something’. Gabby looks to Xena but
Cyrene comes carrying Eve. Mom figures out it was Gabby who
blew up the temple and started the war. She’s the one who
tricked Ares into thinking Xena would go throw with the deal.
And Xena points out if the bard would have waited much long
she might have had to go through with it because Ares would
engage in only so much foreplay. Gabby apologizes and says if
they had a better time keeping device they could synchronize
things much better. Cyrene hands Xena the baby and says she
doesn’t know what she’s going to do with the two of them
(X and G).
The gals start to
walk away and Gabby prods Xena about feeling ‘something’.
Xena teases Gabby and says she doesn’t know what
Gabrielle’s talking about. She didn’t say anything. Gabby
agrees to drop it but Xena mutters, "Well, maybe
something." (LOL) She’s got Gabby’s goat again and
they walk off chuckling.
I liked this one. I
could say I didn’t like Xena ‘prostituting’ herself to
Ares but much like the ‘Reckoning’ she used her sex appeal
to distract Ares (and men are soooooo easily distracted (LOL).
That’s a joke fella’s so lighten up okay (BG) ). I think
RJ’s presence is showing up in the subtlest of ways. But
that’s one of the things I liked about Xena - - the subtle
things. We have an ep with a lesbian (or perhaps bi) goddess.
We have the girl’s interacting like soul mates again instead
of business partners. We have OTHER people (like Athena and
Ares) pointing out how much the girls mean to each other. We
have moments of witty dialog but into a serious story. And we
have a story that has a plot that isn’t so thick it’s
bogged down. It runs cool, clear and precise.
Next week is
Married with Fishsticks. Gabby gets a knock to the head, a bad
80's hairstyle wig and Joxer in a loud shirt. My verdict is
still out on this one. We’ll see if RJ can save this one (LOL).
If so I think I just might name him the genius of X:WP this