Convert (S-4, E-18)
Subtext report, Xena Fanfiction, Xena and
Note: Many of these reports are littered with errors
because I wrote them quickly and 'on the fly' so I could post
them quicker to the 'Nutforum' back in the day.
Drop me a line at email@example.com.
She’s baaaaack. Our
favorite blonde wacko . . .hold on it’s not Callisto. The
other blonde wacko – Najara!!
Yes, the thorn in Xena’s
side had come back to wreck havoc on her love life with the
bard. (Personal note: Even my mother, while watching this one,
said "Gabby get a clue!" (LOL))
Onto our tale . . .
Xena busts into a temple
fightin’ lots of bad guys. She does the super duper kick to
this guys head repeatedly that I thought was great (LOL). I
have a violent side, okay? Is it so wrong for me to like Xena
kick butt now and then? (G).
Joxer and Gabby walk in
after the bad guys begin to ‘head for the hills’ so to
speak. A temple dude tells them to get the girls and
conveniently on cue . . .a woman screams (VBG). They race
outside to see the warlord, Criton, beating someone up. He and
Xena fight and we get to see Gabby’s new weapon. It’s a
compact – you know a make up case and she blows powder in
people’s eyes. Personally I think it’s more humane to get
beat with a stick than to get stuff in my eyes – I HATE WHEN
THAT HAPPENS!! I fear the optometrist more than the dentist
but that’s just me. (G)
Anyway, Gabby wards off some
bad dudes long enough to see the person who was being beaten
is Najara – you remember Najara? She's the religious zealot
that made Gabby her ‘responsibility’ (G); the one who’s
got a big-time weakness for the bard. The one who made Xena
lose a good chewing tooth. Anyway, it’s her.
Meanwhile, Criton trips
during the battle and falls onto Joxer's knife and dies. The
army of thugs flee after seeing their leader is dead and Gabby
calls Xena over. Xena can’t believe her luck and of course
has to make a smart- a$$ comment to Najara about her getting
out for good behavior. Gabby thinks Najara might have broken
ribs and Xena takes great pleasure in checking by pushing on
Najara’s battered body to check. I could have sworn she
smirked when Najara growled in pain. She’s fine according to
Xena – just a little bruised and battered.
Joxer is having a tough time
with the fact he killed someone. Xena tells him that she and
Najara have a checkered history and she should be in prison. A
girl rushes up from the group of women and says that Najara
tried to free them and she didn’t raise a hand against
Criton. She’s a saint they tell Xena. But ole Xena ain’t
buying it but since they love Najara so much Xena has found
free labor to build a litter to carrying Najara.
They put Criton on Argo and
drag Najara from behind. Once at the village a man comes out
and says that rumor has it someone’s killed Criton. Joxer
says it was him, fearing the worst. The guy looks at the dead
body and offers to buy Joxer a drink to toast him. The people
love Joxer and they head to the bar.
Meanwhile, Najara is choking
on some water and Xena goes back to see what’s going on. She
sounds sooooo concerned too when she asks what’s wrong. (G)
Najara tells her the story of how she changed and realized the
err of her ways. She escaped prison to do good. Gabby comes to
Najara’s defense and Xena says she can’t believe what
she’s hearing – not so much Najara’s story, but the fact
that Gabby is defending blondie. Watch Najara scoot closer
into Gabrielle’s arms before Xena turns away disgusted.
Xena finds Joxer drunk at
the bar. The guy he met earlier lets it slip that Criton has a
son at the academy. Now Joxer feels worse. He decides he’s
going to confess to the boy that he killed his father. Xena
wants to know if Joxer is thinking this through, but he’s
made up his mind and she agrees it’s best for him.
Najara said the Jinn stopped
talking to her after Gabrielle left. She met a man who had
come from India named Eli and she knew she had to go the way
of peace. Then the Jinn came back. She escaped prison by
hiding in some laundry and swimming down river. Gab asked what
she’s been doing and she said she’s been helping people
with crops and other good non-violent stuff. She was
‘working toward the day the Jinn said would come. When you
and I would meet again – united in a common bond that not
even Xena shares." Gabby asked, "The Jinn said
that?" Najara replies, "We walk the same path,
Gabrielle. Our lives are dedicated to defeating evil through
peace. It’s our way . . ."
You gotta give Najara points
for trying. (G)
Joxer has visions of Criton
taunting him and Xena tries to help him with no luck.
Gabrielle and Najara do a little bondage next (LOL). Actually
Gabby tied her up so she wouldn’t escape – well at least
that’s the reason Gabby gave Xena (VBG) (Just kidding
Gabby takes great care in making sure she doesn’t
hurt Najara and apologizes for having to tie her. Najara said
it’s unneeded. She isn’t going to run adding; "If
Xena thinks I’m gonna anywhere now that I’ve found you and
our way she’s crazy." With that, Najara reaches her
bound hands up and caresses Gabby’s face (ahhhhhhh. . . it
would be sweet ya know if Najara wasn’t such a wacko (G)).
Najara rolls over to go to
sleep and Gabby watches her a few moments. Finally she walks
back to the bedroll she and Xena share – yes you heard that
right, only one bedroll. Not two next to each other at a safe
distance, but two together (VBG).
Xena asks Gabby if she tied
Najara and Gabby doesn’t answer, making Xena say her name. I
love the way Xena says her name – makes me all tingly inside
(LOL). Gabby says yes, but she thinks Najara heading back to
prison is a waste. Xena says, basically that Gabby’s being
suckered. Gabby starts to argue and Xena gives her side. And
it dies down for a moment. Gabby gives up the debate and Xena
rolls over to go to sleep. Gabby tells Xena that Eli changed
Najara and Gabby asks if she’s awake. Xena doesn’t answer
but her eyes are wide open.
On the way to see Criton's
son, Najara is atop Argo still bound while Xena leads the
reins. They have this discussion:
N: You’re awfully quiet
Xena, but then you never were one to waste words.
X: Nothing’s changed
N: Including me? Is that it,
X: New outfit, new religion,
same old wacko underneath.
N: You claim to have
changed. Why can’t I? We both had the same inspiration –
Gabrielle. But unlike you I changed my whole life for her. You
just changed sides.
X: You hurt Gabrielle and
I’ll change you in ways that are anything but peaceful!
N: You forget, hurting
Gabrielle is your job. Or have those visions gone away? You
know – the visions of your death. . .and hers. I want to
share a life of peace with Gabrielle. You want to share a
violent death. You tell me. . .who’s the villain here – me
Xena doesn’t reply. They
just walk on to the academy.
At the academy with
Criton’s son Xena tells him of his fathers' death. The
father that he thought was a hero, running around doing good
– after all that’s why all of them where there – his
comrades so to speak. Amaul decides he’s going to seek
revenge against his father’s murderer. At this point they
haven’t told him who that person is (G). Xena convinces
Amaul to travel with them awhile and think things over. He
agrees and they all leave together. Xena’s developed quite a
little band at this point. (G)
Gabby tends to Najara’s
wounds in the river. She putting some ointment on Najara and
asks if she wants her to stop. Of course, Najara says no – I
mean honestly if Gabby had you in the river rubbing your
shoulder would you say no (G). I know I wouldn’t. I love
Gabby. Have I mentioned that?(VBG)
Anyway, they talk about the
hospice they were going to start. Najara said it isn’t too
late and they have this exchange.
G: Starting a hospice would
be good for you. . .but it’s not for me. My place is with
(Hold up! Stop the presses!
If she’s turning Najara down does that mean that Gabby has
‘committed’ to Xena fully. Does it mean that Gabby has
quit looking for Mr. Right to make her dreams come true? My
guess. . .you betcha she has!! (LOL). Okay. . .sorry. . .back
to our dialog. . .)
N: I know and it always will
until her continuing violence finally makes her do something
that even you can’t excuse.
G: That’s not going to
N: It has to. . .and then
you will have to choose – not between me and Xena, but
between Xena and your own soul.
Ooooooh, heavy stuff, Najara.
Did Gabby ever tell you about the time when Xena rigged her to
a horse and dragged her halfway across Greece and then
proceeded to throw her off a cliff? Did she tell you that
little tale? It doesn’t get much worse than that Najara?
Sorry, just venting (G).
Anyway, a guy comes up to
the campsite and wants to battle Joxer since he killed Criton.
Joxer of course says the guy is mistaken because he doesn’t
want Amaul who’s standing right there to know. Joxer does
something extremely brave. He knocks the guy with a left hook.
The dude felt it too but he comes back and floors Joxer. Amaul
rushes the guy and the guy knocks him down too. Only one left
standing is the guy. . . and Xena (G). He rushes and she
shoves him down, drawing her sword. Najara and Gabby are on
their way back and they see what’s going on. Xena lets the
guy get up and run away and the two women study Xena. I’m
not sure why they did that. I couldn’t read the expression
on either of their faces.
Later that night, Xena and
Argo have a cute Xena/Argo exchange as Gabby comes up and
calls Xena to supper. Once more they argue over Najara and GET
THIS! . . . Xena gives her the swishing ‘end of
discussion’ arm gesture. She ACTUALLY STOOD UP to the bard
for the first time since season two. That’s it! The argument
is over! No further questions or comments! They both go back
to their stew.
Joxer thanks Amaul for his
help and is on the verge of confession but doesn’t do it. .
. so Najara sneaks over and does it for him after he leaves.
Oooooh. . . she’s so . . .so. . .naughty (LOL). Joxer sits
down to eat and says ‘I hate this’. Gabby says she’s
cooked better and Xena agrees with ‘You said it’. Oooooh
again. . .they gotta be fightin’ if the warrior is knockin’
the bard's cookin’ (LOL).
Joxer said he wasn’t
talking about the stew as Amaul and Najara come up behind them
all. He’s gonna rip Joxer apart. Xena stops him physically
and Gabby talks him out of it. He walks away in tribute to the
memory of whom he thought his father was.
The dawn finally breaks.
It’s a wonderful sunny day. . . .and Xena and Gabby are
still arguing over Najara. Xena gets Gabby with a great zinger
to shut her up about how Najara is more dangerous now. Gabby
asks why. Xena said because Najara has won Gabby over to her side.
Gabby doesn’t reply.
But they really don’t have time
either because Amaul comes running into camp saying that
Criton’s men want to kill Joxer. Amaul said he knows that
his father was a warlord, but he’ll keep the good memory of
him. Xena sends everyone away. Amaul and Joxer get on Argo and
Najara and Gabby take to the bushes.
Xena does some nice fight
scenes again but she gets cut on the leg and Gabby sees her
start to go down, aware that Xena’s been hurt. She tries to
run out, but Najara holds her back, preaching about Eli’s
way. Gabby starts to work free and Najara grabs Gabby by the
hair. She starts talking to the Jinn and gets really wacky
telling Gabby that she (the bard) should be able to hear them
too. Gabby gets her compact and blows dust in Najara's eyes to
get free. Just as Xena comes
over. The bad guys are all gone and Xena tells Najara it’s
Najara however doesn’t
hold that opinion and they fight. Great campy fight scene too
that ends up in the trees. You’d swear Najara was part
amazon. Anyway, Xena wins and they take her to a convent where
the nuns would help her heal, even though she’s in a coma.
Of course, if they need a ratings boost I’m sure Najara will
make a stunning recovery (VBG).
As they are leaving
Gabrielle tells Xena that sometimes when push comes to shove
the choice is to shove back. Xena tells her not to worry. As
long as she’s around, she’ll do all of Gabby’s shoving
for her. Ahhhhh. . .now that’s love (G).
Next week’s looks pretty
good. All you Discord fans will love it and Auto makes an
appearance. Cyrene, Xena’s mum (G), is also on hand in this
on. We got to see both sets of parents in a single season
folks. We haven’t had that since the first year.(G). Maybe
TPTB are starting to listen to us. . .nahhhhhhhhhhh(VBG) Take