Gurkhan (S-6, E-4)
Subtext report, Xena Fanfiction, Xena and
Note: Many of these reports are littered with errors
because I wrote them quickly and 'on the fly' so I could post
them quicker to the 'Nutforum' back in the day.
Drop me a line at email@example.com.
Our tale opens with
Xena, Gabby, Eve and Virgil walking through Poteidaia with
Gabby wondering out loud if her old house is still there. They
decide to check it out there but when they get there it’s a
bit run down. Nothing a little fixing up and paint couldn’t
cure optimistic Virgil says. Besides it’s the people inside
that still matter Eve points out. Of course the people inside
could be new occupants that Gabby never laid eyes on before (LOL).
Gabby looks undecided but Xena says go on. And you know if
Xena says jump . . .
Gabrielle makes her
way to the front door as the team stays behind and watches
white knuckled and chewing fingernails. Gabby goes to knock
when the door opens. It’s Lila looking like she aged pretty
well<G>. They hug and the next we see everyone inside. A
storm is coming into town as Gabby and Lila sit by the
fireplace. Virgil and Eve are at the ‘kitchen’ table
sitting next to each other as Xena stands in the background.
Eve must have a lot of faith in her one god because Virgil is
cleaning his sword. I kept waiting for him to turn around and
stab her with it (LOL). But he seems to have worked through
his grief and hey . . . who cares if Joxer is dead anyway,
Lila says she
wishes that Sarah were there to see Gabby. ‘Who’s
Sarah?’ Gabby asks. Turns out Gabby is an aunt. Gabby wants
to know where she is but Lila can’t form the words. Gabby
asks where mother and father are. That’s when Lila spills
the beans – seems Gurkhan rode into town 8 years ago and
took Sarah. Hecuba, Herodeus and Lila’s husband Lecter sold
most of the farm to try to buy Sarah back but got beheaded for
their trouble. Gabby’s pissed. Beyond pissed and she darts
outside. Xena chases after her telling her to hold up.
Gabrielle screams that she wants vengeance. Xena said they
will get Sarah back but that’s not good enough for ole Gabs.
Oh no! She’s gonna make Gurkhan pay and she ain’t takin’
American Express (G) (Rental of a ship to North Africa - $250
dinars, Pay for scurvy crew - $150 dinars, Look on warlord’s
face when you gut him like a fish – priceless (VBG). )
The fearsome four
(Eve, Virgil, Xena and Gabby) are all on a ship headed to
Africa. Seems Eve knows Gurkhan’s hide out before she become
God’s little apprentice. As Gabby works out with her sais
Eve asks what’s the plan. Gabby tells her she’ll get
inside, kill Gurkhan and get her niece. Eve thinks that’s
just great however that’s Gabby’s goal. What’s the plan?
Gabby’s working on it seems. Eve confesses that she’s sold
women to Gurkhan during her Livia days but she’s never seen
the man. No one has it seems. After Eve walks away Xena comes
up and Gabby remarks how causal Eve talks about her past. Xena
says it’s because it’s in the past and she can’t change
it. But she’s realized, like herself, the future and today
is what matters. At this point Xena tells Gabby that she’s
not a murderer. Gabby says no today she isn’t but tomorrow
she will be. Gabby promptly walks to the edge of the ship and
loses her cookies.
Eve and Xena have a
heart to heart talk about their blood shedding ways. Eve says
that she must have gotten her killer instinct from Xena
because Gabrielle can’t kill in cold blood. Okay Okay. Now
wait a second here. Just why would Gabby’s lack of ‘killer
genes’ have anything to do with Eve unless . . . Damn it
Tapert!! Quit reading my Change of Heart fan fiction would ya?!
For crying out loud he’s stealing my concept of Eve being
Xena AND Gabby’s daughter….What a worm that Tapert! (VBG).
Ahhh…I feel better now. Okay. Where was I? Oh yeah sensitive
warrior chat time. Anyway, Xena says that for Gabby this is
going to be a suicide mission. Eve asks what Xena plans to do.
‘Cure her sea sickness’, Xena answers.
Next we see Gabby
sawing logs thanks to some herbs Xena gave her to settle her
stomach. Settle her stomach and knock her out. (hehehehee).
Xena tells Virgil he’s gonna help sell her on the slave
market. Virgil says absolutely not. That would betray
Gabby’s trust. Xena applies a little pressure and much like
his old man he cowers away but agrees.
Xena and Virgil
show up at the ‘trade show’ of human flesh and Virgil
wants to find out what he could get for Xena. The auctioneer
looks Xena over and rips her clothes off. Virgil’s eyes get
wide at the sight. Instead of one of arousal though it looks
like one of shock, more like, "Oh my god he torn off her
dress. She’s gonna kill him." Of course he does look at
Xena as the man appraises her – seems Xena would be a fine
catch for day and night. The auctioneer wants 15% and Virgil
agrees. Xena tells Virgil that when Gurkhan bids to get behind
him and find out something.
When the bidding
does start three different men raise their hand – all of
them Gurkhan. Virgil is confused. Xena is sold and the warrior
princess is off to her new master. Gabby wakes up from her nap
asking where Xena is. Eve gives her a tender smile, which
makes Gabby sick all over again. Virgil comes back to the ship
with a bag of dinars singing a song about selling maidens.
Doesn’t take long for Gabby to put two and two together.
She’s pissed at them but Eve and Virgil point out that they
love her and that’s why they did it. Gabby doesn’t seem to
give a damn and decides that since Virgil helped Xena he’s
gonna help her too.
Xena is at the
palace bathhouse. She’s chatting with a Chin gal asking if
she knows a Sarah. Seems the wives aren’t permitted to speak
about each other or they get a royal butt kickin. A woman
walks in announcing that she is the first wife (pretty lady,
blonde, kinda looks a bit like Gabby in a way. Wink, wink,
nudge, nudge). Xena cops and attitude and gets a face full of
the woman’s foot. Ouch! But Xena decides not to kick her ass
and plays the submissive. All the girls line up for Gurkhan
– well the three Gurkhan’s. Seems that three men are
playing the same role to keep the real Gurkhan a secret. While
sitting there a man comes in with another slave. Xena hears
the voice and the intro and knows that it’s Virgil and
Virgil offers Gabby
as a gift, hoping to make future deals and Gabby does a little
dance for him. I love Gabby. Have I mentioned that? (VBG). In
the mists of the dance Xena gazes on Gabrielle with dare I say
lust? I dare. I dare. (VBG) But she also looks down right
pissed. She’s not sure if she should kiss the girl or kill
As Gabby dances
closer Xena notices that Gabby has a knife stashed behind her.
She’s gonna make a stab at Gurkhan but Xena jumps her and
takes it without anyone’s knowledge. She knocks Gabby on the
head and takes the knife as if she’s going to stab her
saying that no one is going to win Gurkhan over before her.
The guards knock her out and she falls on top of Gabrielle.
Poor ROC, probably knocked the wind out of her to have LL
sprawled all over her. (LOL)
They take Xena to
the dungeon where they beat her repeatedly. She’s looking
pretty damn rough to say the least but she has visions of
Gabby stroking her face and doing the sexy dance in front of
her while the real Gurkhan interrogates her. Xena tells him
that she wants the top spot in the harem. They let her live
and take her back to the harem hang out. Xena hobbles inside
and collapses on the pillows. Gabby rushes over and offers her
cuddles. Gabby asks how Xena is doing and she says just
peachy. By the look of Xena’s eyes she should be losing her
sight. But then again this is the Xenaverse so after some
tender loving care from Gabby (G). She’s as good as new in
no time. The girls all line up again and Gurkhan picks Xena to
dance for him that evening.
As Gabby does a
little paint by numbers on Xena’s face preparing her for
Gurkhan, the two of them talk. Xena tells Gabby if she wants
to kill Gurkhan, she won’t stop her. It’s her right. Gabby
takes her up on it.
Xena goes to the
gala. She does her little sexy dance for Gurkhan and when
she’s finished she says she has a request. Gurkhan asks what
it is. Xena tells him she wants Sarah’s head on a platter.
Gurkhan agrees and wife number one puts up a fight. At least
we know who Sarah is now. Xena and Gurkhan go off to his
‘private quarters’ (hubba hubba) to do a little dance,
make a little love, get down tonight. Gurkhan is very willing
at this point but Xena pauses a moment to whisper something in
his ear. He smiles and obviously likes her idea.
We see Xena
straddling Gurkhan when Gabby is lead into the bedroom.
Gurkhan tells her to join them as Xena gives him a wicked
smile. As Gabby approaches the bed Xena pulls out the old
pinch on him making him paralyzed. Xena climbs off him giving
Gabby the all clear. Gabby pulls the knife out of its sheath
and proceeds to climb up Gurkhan’s body. She taunts him
about killing her family, asking him if he’s scared. Of
course he can’t answer – the pinch is pretty effective
(G). She decides however if she kills him then she’s no
better than he is and moves away. He sighs in relief but she
comes back over him in tells him that she hates him. She rises
again but returns to beat the crap out of him. Xena just looks
on and lets Gabby get it out of her system.
When she’s done
they go to the cell to see Sarah. Gabby tells her who they are
and that they are going to take her home. Sarah is resistant.
She’s done a lot of bad, bad things. Gabby tells her that
she was just a scared kid. She did what she could to survive.
Sarah said they would never make it out of the castle. They
will hunt them down if she’s gone. Xena says they found a
loophole and throw Gurkhan in the dungeon. Xena goes back to
all the girls and tells them they are going on a cruise. As
the boat is getting loaded the executioner comes in to
decapitate Sarah – however it’s Gurkhan covered in the
royal robes. After the deed is done they see that it’s
Gurkhan’s head and spaz out (LOL).
On the boat Xena
watches Eve and Gabrielle at the side of the ship. Sarah walks
over and says she’s done some pretty terrible things.
Gabrielle said she’s taking her home to her mother. Sarah
doesn’t see how her mother could ever love her after all
she’s done. Eve tells her she doesn’t know ‘mothers’
very well and Gabby gives Eve an affectionate grin and tells
Sarah she’s in the right company. Xena smiles as their
family gets a little bit larger with the new addition. And
they sail away on Rob’s Folly (VBG) – the famous Xena ship
for those that don’t know.
Fade to Black.
I think folks that
like the ‘classic’ Xena’s will enjoy this ep. It was
good. Kinda like Coming Home. Not great but good none the
Next week Gabby
kills the wrong person and gets up to her neck in trouble
(okay well it’s up to her neck in sand). Seems that Gabby
will be set to die at sunrise…but not if Xena can help it
I’m sure. So next week looks like it’s Missy Good’s
second contribution with the ep ‘Legacy"