Subtext report, Xena Fanfiction, Xena and
Note: Many of these reports are littered with errors
because I wrote them quickly and 'on the fly' so I could post
them quicker to the 'Nutforum' back in the day.
Drop me a line at firstname.lastname@example.org.
A Roman chick is
kicki’ some major butt when Ares shows up and tells her nice
job. She’s about to be the most powerful woman in the Roman
Empire. Livia tells him that she’s going to keep going after
Eli’s followers to keep the God’s that Rome worships safe
(or something along those lines). They smooch and we then we
see the icy tomb.
An avalanche starts
and a hole is opened in the top of the tomb. The sun starts to
melt Xena’s coffin and she busts it open. She sees Gabrielle
and takes her sword to slice it open. Once she gets it knocked
away she pulls Gabrielle into a complete hug as they try to
warm each other up. At the bottom of the mountain they
encounter an old woman that says she hasn’t seen Ares in 25
years since the death of the legendary Xena. The two are
shocked but she asks if the old woman heard of a roman big
shot named Octavius. The woman says the only one she knows of
is Livia, the emperor bitch – the one who slaughters
innocents like the followers of Eli. The two travel on and see
a tavern with a chakram and a pair of sais on the front (G).
They go inside and
it’s like a ‘Planet Hollywood’ with them – paintings,
statues, dolls, etc. They see Meg. Of course they HAD to throw
in a flatulence scene but aside from that it really was funny.
Meg walks up and sees X and G. She tells ‘shorty’ (Gabby)
that she ‘kinda looks like Gabby but Gabby wasn’t so
butch’ (LOL). Next Joxer comes out and says for her to hurry
up because she’s got Bard Burgers burning back there. Gabby
says Joxer’s name and he drops a plate. The three of them
hug and go to a table.
Joxer says he
looked for them for years but only quit after Argo died. Xena
said there’d never be another Argo. Joxer then takes them
outside and introduces them to Argo the second, Argo’s
daughter. He says he never let anyone ride her. Of course
that’s the call to Xena as she grabs a saddle and clears the
corral. Xena tells Joxer that she’s beautiful when Joxer’s
son comes out. He introduces him as Virgil. He’s cute too (VBG).
Joxer then talks
about Octavius and the subject of Eve comes up. Joxer mentions
that Octavius had her and they went back to Rome. Xena says
that’s where they are going. Joxer warns that it’s not the
same Rome as years before and that he and Virgil should go
with them. Xena agrees and Joxer is overjoyed that it’s
going to ‘be like old times’. His excitement was kinda
sweet I have to admit.
They are having a
parade in Rome as a victory march. Xena sneaks up on Octavius
(now Augustus Caesar). He’s stunned to see her but she asks
where’s her daughter. Suddenly Livia rides in on horseback
– the champion of Rome. Octavius closes the curtain of the
viewing box and he and Xena speak. Xena’s pissed because she
never got to raise her. Octaivus told Xena she had the best of
everything. Xena says that can’t be because she saw the
slaves – Livia is a monster. Octavius says she’s the
greatest warrior Rome has ever known and that she will become
his wife. Xena says no daughter of hers is going to marry
Rome. Octavius says that Eve’s identity is safe now and
tells Xena not to rock the boat.
Later that night
Xena is looking out the window. Gabby walks up and says she
can’t sleep. Xena says she feels like there's no way home,
she gave one child away and this time she wanted to do right
by this one. Gabby says she can still be with Eve. There’s
hope as long as she’s alive. Xena says she has her darkness
and Callisto’s spirit. Those are tough odds. Gabby says she
(Xena) did it. Xena smiles and says she had help. Gabby says
‘Eve will have us. Like mother like daughter. Go talk to
her’. Gabby wipes Xena’s tears away and Xena doesn’t
flinch or shy away (WooHoo). Once more Xena is FINALLY talking
to Gabby about her insecurities and not everyone BUT Gabby.
Thank you Mr. Stewart (VBG).
Virgil and the trio
arrive at his blacksmith shop. Joxer has a coughing spell as
Xena goes off to find Eve. The roman’s come through
collecting for a gods temple. They ask for money and Joxer
tells them to blow it out their ass (LOL). A fight breaks out
and at least one thing stays consistent – Joxer still
can’t fight worth a damn (G) and I will confess I laughed
out loud when he pulled out his sword and the weight of it
toppled him backward.(LOL). In the end the Roman take them as
followers of Eli.
Xena catches up to
Livia and finds her sparing with Ares giving him a good run
for the money. When they lock lips Xena hurls her chakram at
him. Ares sees it and gets that ‘Oh Sh*t’ look on his
face. Ares walks over and tries to give her a welcome back
kiss, which doesn’t go far when she head butts him. Livia
takes the sword to Xena and threatens to kill her. She’s got
Xena’s darkness, Callisto’s spirit and Gabby’s jealous
streak (VBG). Ares says he had to kiss her to see if she’s
real. Livia doesn’t quite buy it. Ares says if Xena’s
alive then chances are Eve is too. Xena says Eve is dead and
leaps away. Livia wants to give chase but Ares stops her.
She’ll be back and she’ll lead them to Eve.
In the cell Joxer
says it’s all his fault if he had kept his mouth shut (Gee,
he’s not so diluted anymore (G)). He says Gabby is furious
with him. Virgil tells dad that can’t be. He saved them many
times from Baccas, Callisto, etc. Joxer says, ‘Why don’t
we not mention that to her? I don’t want her feel like she
owes me anything.’ Gabby then comes over and says that no
one belongs there and Virgil says it’s because they are
followers of Eli. Livia then comes in and tells them to pick
their champion. She’ll keep it fair by giving them armor and
weapons. If she wins they all die. If the champion wins they
go free. She sees that Virgil looks like a good choice.
Xena goes back to
Octavius. She tells him about seeing Livia with Ares and that
she wants to save her. He says that’s not true. But Xena
tells him that Ares has seduced her with promises of absolute
power. Oct says he doesn’t believe it but Xena says she’ll
prove it. She says that Livia and Ares will be at the big
shindig that evening and to find a way to get Livia over to
her and Ares and watch her reaction. He’s not too game on
the idea but he agrees.
Xena is then at the
party posing as a ‘waitress’. Octavius sees her and puts
the plan into motion. Xena comes up to Ares as he old out his
mug and says hit me. Xena replied don’t tempt me (VBG). Ares
tells Xena that if they had a second chance together he’d
drop Livia like a nasty habit. Octavius sees Livia’s
reaction and sees that Xena spoke the truth. He tells Livia
that she will not succeed him – the deal was off. She’s
slightly pissed (LOL).
Xena knows someone
is following her as she goes in search of Livia as Ares shows
up. Ares realizes that Livia is Eve. Ares says she’s going
to . . . unless Xena comes with him and they have a child.
Ares says he’s willing to kill the woman that he loves. He
says no he’s willing to kill the child of the woman he
lives. Meanwhile, Virgil is working on a scroll that he tries
to hide as Gabby comes over. He confesses that he writes but
nowhere near as good as her. He says he writes poems but since
his dad doesn’t like it he hides it. He says he thinks his
dad wishes he was a real hero like him instead of writing
about heroes. Joxer comes up and says he’s proud of his son
and that those stories he told him of his ‘heroics’ . . .
well he doesn’t say anything because Gabby stops him and
says ‘they’re inspirational’. Gabby knows the truth but
she lets Virgil have the illusion that his dad is a hero. She
gets a little misty eyed which was sweet (VBG). I love Gabby.
Have I mentioned that? (VBG)
Next we see Eve
trashing a room as Xena walks in. Eve goes on the attack but
Xena says she didn’t come there to fight but talk. Eve says
if it’s about Ares she can have him. Xena says no it’s
about her. Eve says Xena's doesn’t know her but Xena says
she knows her first smile, her first laugh, her first tears
because she’s her mother. Eve says her mother is Rome. Xena
warns that the gods will now hunt her. Eve says that’s BS
– she wants Xena to be Eli’s followers champion and she
will fight her to the death.
At the coliseum,
Livia enters the ring to cheers. Xena steps out next and they
do battle. Livia is a good fighter – Callisto’s quick,
small frame but Xena’s acrobatic skills – she’s one
tough cookie (VBG). During the battle Xena makes several
attempts to reach Eve and convince her that she can be good.
Xena manages to get close enough and put the pinch on her. She
tells Eve she’s not going to kill her because she’s her
daughter and she loves her. Eve says if she loves her than let
her die. But Xena won’t and takes the pinch off. Virgil says
our champion chooses mercy and Gabby pipes in saying life for
us all. The crowd seems to agree and Octavius calls the match,
releasing the prisoners.
Eve gets up and
tells Xena she’s gonna wish she had never given birth to her
and vanishes in the crowd of grateful released prisoners. Xena
goes searching for her but doesn’t find her as Gabby comes
up behind Xena. We gotta go after her Gabrielle. She’s gonna
do something terrible. We have to save her from herself."
To be continued . . .
promo….Xena is walking through a village of dead bodies
saying that Eve did this. Eve and Xena are doing battle as the
announcer says "Eve unleashes her anger on the world and
against her mother. Stopping her could cost Xena a cherished
friend". The last shot is of Eve with what looks like a
whip and Gabby strung up by the arms screaming.
This one wasn’t
as good as last weeks but it was still pretty good. Next weeks
looks pretty good but I was always a sucker for those Gabby in
jeopardy eps (VBG)