Episode: Looking Death In The Eye
Subtext report, Xena Fanfiction, Xena and
Note: Many of these reports are littered with errors
because I wrote them quickly and 'on the fly' so I could post
them quicker to the 'Nutforum' back in the day.
Drop me a line at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Looking Death In The Eye
Okay. Here goes nothing. I
apologize for the late report but with it being Easter and all
I had family matters to attend to. It started with me taking a
lily to mom and settling back to watch Xena. After that it's
been none stop running but you're sick of waiting so here it
A man is in a tavern selling
different odds and ends when he announces he has the last
known scroll from the bard of Poteidaia. Joxer, an old man
with long graying hair and a receding hairline steps up and
asks to see it. It's Gabrielle's handwriting so he knows it's
real. He says he knew her and Xena and the patrons all laugh
at him. The bidding on the item begins, but Joxer decides he
MUST have it so he plunks down 65 dinars and takes it from the
Back at home, you hear him
and Meg argue about how he just spent her nest egg on an old
scroll for no reason. She reminds him that Xena and Gabrielle
are both gone and when is he gonna realize this. (Note: You do
not SEE Meg. Note 2: the house, I believe is actually the one
they use as Gabby's house)
He leaves the house and
grumbles off to the barn. He plunks down as his son and
daughter come in. He asks if they want to hear the story of a
warrior princess and they enthusiastically agree. Joxer starts
to read and the story takes over.
We see Xena walking into the
fates temple. She apologies for dropping in but they tell her
she is always welcome there. Xena wants to know when this
twilight will start and how she can keep Eve safe. They tell
her that she must die - that only in the essence of death will
Eve begin to be safe and bring about the twilight. Gabby walks
in and hears this and says it's BS, let's get out of here.
They touch; they make eye contact. Xena seems to care about
Gabby's opinion but stress that she'll die if she has too.
Gabby finally gets Xena to leave.
They are walking through the
forest when fireballs come out of nowhere. Xena listens and
hears something to the right of her. She throws the chakram,
knocking off Hades helmet of invisibility, exposing him.
Athena shows up next with her archers and surround the girls.
Xena makes a crack to Athena that she's found Hades for her so
she can call off the hunt (LOL). THAT'S the cocky ass Xena I'm
used to (VBG). Athena says Xena knows damn well why she's
there and that she should just give up because she
can�t win. Obviously she doesn't realize that 'thems
thar fightin' words' to Xena. They all go at it - Xena takes
on Athena while Gabby battles Hades. Gabby at one point tells
Xena to give Eve to her but Xena declines. Athena makes some
comment to the fact that Xena doesn't trust Gabrielle. In the
end however, Xena ends up destroying Hades helmet with her
chakram in a discus shoot with her and Gabby. It was nice to
see them working 'together' for once this season. The helmet
shatters and sprinkles down hurting the two gods while Xena
and Gabby make their escape.
Meanwhile back at the Ranch
de Joxer, he's reading Gabby's words of how 'Xena and I sought
refuge with the Roman ally unknown to the gods'. As Joxer
speaks we actually witness Gabby putting quill to parchment as
Octavius plays with Eve on a tent floor when Xena comes in.
Xena thanks Octavius for his hospitality and Octavius says
it's nothing. He's in her debt for saving his life. Then he
leaves Xena and Gabby alone. Xena says 'here' and starts to
put some medicine on Gabby's cut face. She flinches and owwws.
(VBG) Some warrior huh (LOL)? Gabby asks what it is and Xena
says it's poison. When she goes back to put more on, Gabby
flinches and says "Hey!" (LOL) Xena smiles and adds
"Only if you drink it". It's to fight off infection
she explains. Gabby asks where Xena got it and she said from
mom's medicine cabinet (VBG). It's soooo wonderful to see the
girls actually interacting with each other in a playful way. (VBG)
Gabby then makes mention of Athena's comment in regard to
trust. Xena assures her that Athena was just prodding them and
it didn't matter who had Eve - they had to get out of the
The gods have gathered in
Athena's temple to discuss Xena. Ares show's up uninvited and
says if they are looking for ways to defeat Xena they need to
come to him. But Athena calls forth Celeste (death) instead.
Athena wants Celeste to put the touch on Xena but she declines
saying when and only when it's time for Xena to die will she
do it. They accuse Celeste of looking out for her best
interest but as Celeste points out as long as there is life
there will also have to be death.
Next Hephesteus is working
on a helmet when Xena approaches. She asks him if arts and
crafts are what he does for a living what's his hobby? (VBG)
He tells her destroying her and her daughter. Xena retorts
that's more of a perversion. They do battle and Xena gets the
ever lovin' crap kicked out of her. Hephesteus has her
cornered and Celeste shows up. Xena says what took you so long
to Celeste. Before Hephesteus can strike the death blow Gabby
sneaks up on him and gives him a good old fashioned butt
whoopin'. In the onset Xena goes and gets some of Hephesteus's
chains (which can hold a god) and strings up Celeste. She
rejoins Gabby in the battle against Hephesteus. Gods!! It was
GREAT to see Gabby fighting side by side with Xena as the pair
delivered blow after blow to Hephesteus. Finally the two knock
him over a pit and into what looked like some lava below. Xena
is limping after the beating she took and Gabby helps steady
her as they go to round up Celeste. Outside Hephesteus's cave
some Roman soldiers have loaded up 'death' and Xena thanks
Octavius for babysitting. He says it's no trouble and if she
needs anything else to feel free to contact him. They say
their good-byes and Xena, Gabby, Eve and Celeste leave.
Back at Athena's temple the
goddess is trashing Ares for his handlings in all of this so
far - Eli's murder, siding with Xena in Amphipolis, etc. etc.
Ares is kicked back not really too concerned until she comes
face to face with him. Not too many folks have unsettled the
God of War but the wide eyed look he got when sis approached
his 'personal space' was funny (VBG). They are interrupted
however when Hephesteus and Hades show up to say that Xena has
Later that night Gabby is
singing softly to Eve and tells her that someday she'll have a
horse of her own too. (One of those Ahhh moments folks -
mother/daughter bonding going on here. She's starting to treat
Eve like a person and not some object that needs careful
But as Xena sits down with
Celeste whos trying to find out why they want her dead now
since the duo saved her once before (Hey!! Someone remembered
a past script here folks!! I'm shocked to say the least but
pleasantly surprised.) Xena then goes on a tyrant with
Celeste. Xena says that if 'death' dies she doesn't have to
die to fulfill the fates vision and Eve won't have to worry
either. Xena continues to go off, talking about how she's lost
so many people that she loves - Solan, Marcus, Lyceus. Gabby
tries to stop Xena by saying that Celeste doesn't understand
what it's like to love and lose someone because she's
immortal. Xena then asks how Celeste would feel to lose Hades
her only family and Celeste starts to cry. Xena wipes away her
tears but warns Celeste that she's (Xena) not going to lose
her family. She walks back and stands next to Eve and
Gabrielle (WooHoo!! An actual acknowledgement of her 'family'
here folks) and Gabby gives Eve back to Xena. Xena adds that
she's not going to lose another child and places her in a
basket in the cart.
The next morning young Joxer
is in a tavern and Gabby comes in to warn him of what's been
happening but before she can Athena's silver clad chicks show
up with Hades. Hades starts to choke Gabby and Athena points
out that they need her alive. He releases Gabby but she tries
to take them on. Athena comes up and gives Gabby a boot to the
head that leaves her standing but swaying to beat the band.
Athena grabs Joxer by the neck and demands to know where Xena
is. Joxer tells Gabby not to say anything but as Athena
tightens her grip he's changed his mind (LOL). Gabby knows
that Athena will kill Joxer so she tells Athena that Xena is
heading to the ocean. They release Joxer and take Gabby with
Back at the camp sight
Celeste's candle is almost burned out and she's looking pretty
rough. Athena shows up and offers Xena a trade - Celeste for
Gabrielle. Gabby tells Xena no, let the candle burn. But Xena
agrees. Gabby argues again and Xena says it's all right. I
actually believed that for once this season Xena put
Gabrielle's safety highest among all things, but more
importantly she didn't hold what happened against Gabrielle.
Athena pushes Gabby over and they release Celeste. Celeste
grabs her candle and starts to walk away. Athena stops her and
says she needs her help but Celeste said she's needed
elsewhere at the moment and leaves without harming any of the
Just then Ares shows up in
the driver's seat of the cart as Hephesteus and Hades arrive.
"Come on sis," he tells Athena. "Give us a head
start" (LOL). Xena does a flip into the cart and off they
race with the Gods and archers in pursuit. Ares tells Xena
that his help is the only way out of this mess but she refuses
him yet again and tells him to get lost - he keeps asking for
something he is never going to get (BG). He says this must be
my exit and disappears leaving Xena, Gabby and Eve in the
cart. Gabrielle is writing everything down as fast as she can
but the scroll falls out of the cart and lands in a field.
Back to old Joxer, the kids
ask if that's the end of the story. Joxer says no. That's the
end of the scroll but not the end of the story. They ask how
he knows and he says because he was there. We see young Joxer
who's running to the ocean watching the scene before him.
Xena is trying to get away
from the archers as they race along. Gabrielle stays in the
back, taking care of Eve. Athena hits the cart with a
fireball. Gabrielle is lying limp in the back. Suddenly all
three Gods (Athena, Hades and Hephesteus) hit the cart with
their weapons as Xena is trying to pick up Gabrielle and get
her to safety. The cart explodes and falls over a cliff. The
gods go over to inspect and we see Joxer behind them, going
down the slope to check on Xena and Gabrielle.
Gabrielle is limp on the
shoreline, as is Xena. But Xena starts to move and calls over
to Gabrielle. Gabby is out so Xena starts to go through the
wreckage looking for Eve. When she doesn't find her she starts
to scream. She goes back to Gabrielle and picks up her limp
body, calling her name. Gabrielle doesn't respond either.
She's dead too. The Gods say the prophecy is now defeated.
Xena starts to wail and notices the gods above her. She
unsheathes her sword and goes to gut herself but Ares
materializes in front of her and takes it away, throwing it
behind him. He tells her no and she tells him it's too late,
it's over. She pops the top off of the poison and drinks. She
tells him to let the gods know it's a package deal, they got
her too. Xena goes limp and Ares catches her in his arms. The
gods leave as Joxer comes running along the beach. We see
lightening two times. He watches as Ares picks up Xena and the
two of them disappear.
Octavius then appears on
horseback. Octavius gives Joxer a greeting. Joxer tells him
that they are all dead. Octavius says no they aren't and he
shows Eve to Joxer. Octavius tells Joxer that Xena created the
essence of death. He explains (through flashback) that when
Xena placed Eve in the cart the night of the Celeste argument
he crept in and swapped Eve with a baby doll. And the tears
that Xena whipped away that night weren't out of kindness. She
was actually 'collecting' them because to drink the tears
gives the illusion of death. We then see the action before the
cart flipped over. Gabby drinks the bottle first. Xena got
Gabby out of the cart and the two jumped away from the burning
cart as it went over the hill. Once on the beach Xena put on
an act and drunk the tears herself. Joxer says that's all well
in good but something happened that they didn't figure, Ares
took them away. Octavius says, "Oh no."
Next we see Ares in a snowy
region carrying Xena. Here's the conversation after he places
Xena next to Gabby's coffin in the ice tomb:
"You're with her
(Gabrielle) now. I handled you all wrong. She knew what you
need. Unconditional and unselfish love. And I couldn't give
that to you. But I appreciated you in ways that she never
could. Your rage. Your violence. Your beauty. When you
sacrificed yourself for others you were hers. But when you
kicked ass you were mine. ~kiss~ I love you Xena."
Ares then makes a marker
with Xena's sword and chakram before leaving and sealing the
tomb. The last shot is of Xena and Gabby inside their ice
coffins before we fade to black.
Can these last eps save
season five? No but it could be enough for folks to stick
around for season six. Say what you will about Mr. Stewart but
I think his presence has been missed and is showing up in
these last eps.