Subtext report, Xena Fanfiction, Xena and
Note: Many of these reports are littered with errors
because I wrote them quickly and 'on the fly' so I could post
them quicker to the 'Nutforum' back in the day.
Drop me a line at firstname.lastname@example.org.
I love Gabby! Have
I mentioned that? Gods know it’s been quite some time since
I’ve been able to say that (VBG). But it’s true. Gabby’s
the best. Now, on to our tale.
A group of thugs
try to take off with some of Aphrodite’s jewel. That is
until ‘WE’ arrive. And by ‘we’ I mean Xena and Gabby.
It’s nice to see Xena use the word ‘we’ will stop you
instead of just ‘me’. Seems she sees Gabby as an equal now
and not the young maiden that needs to be saved. Even after
the fight is over and Xena and Gabby have thwarted the thieves
efforts, Xena doesn’t even ask Gabby if she’s okay.
That’s actually a good thing because she’s realized Gabby
does just fine on her own ‘Thank you very much’.
Anyway, Dite shows
up and thanks the girls. She makes mention that she gets the
jewels from the folks who are using her temple as a hospice.
Xena and Gabby are not impressed of course but it’s nice to
see people are being taken care of regardless of the fact Dite
reaps the benefits.
There they see a
little girl named Daphne (like the red-haired chick from the
cartoon Scooby-Doo (VBG) ) and Xena makes the remark that she
would switch places with her if she could. Since the girl has
given up the hope to live Dite figures what the hey. It could
be just what the little girl needs and the goddess zaps them.
Problem is Xena collapses and the little girl now has her
spirit and Xena’s in the same body. Of course, ever
protective Gabby is a bit miffed that her girlfriend is now in
the body of an 8-year-old but Dite pretty much says these
things happen. Chill! She’ll fix it . . . somehow.
At that moment the
girl’s dad shows up and claims the girl since she’s now
conscious. Gabby tells him ‘I have a friend in your
daughter’ (LOL) (See? That’s subtext – not the kind we
are used to but one phrase that has two meanings. Thought
I’d just throw that out there for the ‘subtext impaired’
(G) ). Anyway, dad and little girl leave the hospice and Gabby
tells Dite they have to move Xena to safety. But does Dite
help? Heck no! She might break a nail. (LOL)
Gabby has to carry
Xena (and child) on a litter to a cave. Reluctantly, and after
Gabby has carried Xena most of the distance, Dite helps lift
her to a rock ledge. With that done, amazon and goddess plan
on ways to help the warrior. Back at evil dude camp, a guy
Xena did battle with employs the thieves it seems and he wants
‘revenge’! How trite, huh? Well, yeah, but the ep’s still
holding water at this point (BG).
And as for the
little girl she’s found out that her mother has died and
Xena helps her work through her grief.
The evil dudes find
Xena and Gabby puts up a fight against them. She looks so
beautiful during this fight and even though ROC says she’s
buffed down a bit you’d never notice. Poetry in motion folks
– the woman is gorgeous (VBG). Anyway, Gabby beats up the
baddies and goes over to Xena and says she wishes she had seen
that (VBG). In the onset Gabby and Dite are going to go to a
Gemini (twins) party to get some ‘Castor oil’ from Zeus’
twin brothers. Dite goes to place a spell on the cave so no
one can get in to get Xena and Gabby goes back and promises
Xena she’ll bring her back and strokes her hair (Ahhhh . . .
One of those sweet moments that we like to see between the
girls has returned if only for a moment (VBG) ).
The little girl is
in the market with her dad when a horse and wagon get out of
control. Little girl (AKA Xena) saves the day and the thugs
witness it. They are convinced that the little girl is Xena
and rush back to tell evil head honcho. He wants the little
girl captured and brought to him. Later after an argument with
her dad (he won’t tell the girl how her mom died) she runs
away into the woods. The thugs ‘think’ this will be easy
but the little girl whoops their butt all the way home (LOL).
Gabby and Dite at
this point have conned their way into the Gemini party posing
as Swedish twins. They see Castor and his twin after watching
a female oil-wrestling match. The shots of the woman’s face
between another woman’s thighs were enough to make the queen
of subtext blush (LOL). Okay it takes a lot more than that but
I have to admit it was a bit degrading. Dite was enjoying the
match but Gabby was all business. After all she had a pair of
thighs she’d likes to be between that she had to save at the
moment (VBG). Okay! Okay! That’s a cheap joke and I’m
better than that . . . Well actually no I’m not (VBG).
Anyway Dite and
Gabby find the stud boys with the oil and challenge them to a
match. They agree. Well hell if ROC or Alex wanted to oil
wrestle would you say no? (LOL) Yeah I thought soooo (VBG).
Anyway, round this time Daph has found out that her mother
drown while saving her and she feels guilty. Daph and Xena
have a heart to heart talk about being a parent and having
parents, etc., etc. And evil dude goes after the girl’s dad
to use as bait to snare ‘little Xena.’
At this time Gabby
and Dite are in the ring wrestling with the ‘twins’. Dite
is enjoying herself immensely while Gabby is trying her
damnedest to meet her goal – the castor oil. When the girls
do win Gabby makes a statement to how degrading this kind of
competition is. She snatches the oil from Castor’s belt and
drags the goddess out of the party. Gabby returns to ‘little
Xena’ and tells Xena that she was at Daph’s house and
found a note saying the girl’s dads been taken. ‘Xena’
tells Dite to get to her body and use the oil. Dite then
vanishes and ‘Xena’ and Gabby go to evil dude’s house.
Of course they have to ‘get there’ so Gabby takes Xena to
one of the guards and asks if he’d like to buy some cookies
from her little girl for the junior amazons. (LOL) When he
smiles and says sure. ‘Xena’ puts the pinch on him!!
WooHoo!! I’ve waited since last year for the pinch – you
don’t know what you’ve missed until it’s gone I tell ya.
(VBG) Anyway, they learn the ‘secret hideout place’.
frees her dad while Gabby battles the ugly bad dudes and they
start to make their way out but get separated. ‘Xena’ ends
up doing battle with the top evil villain this week – she
wins of course. Gabby battles the evil army – she wins of
course. And when Dite shows up she bring little girl and Xena,
fully restored to the bard and the girl’s father. All is
right with the world as father and daughter ‘bond’. We
even get to see a little warrior/amazon bonding at the beach
too. Ya know, that touchy feely stuff. Xena and Gabby talking
about kids being lovable or something along those lines and
Gabby points out that she’ll see if Xena still feels that
way when this child is a teenage. So it’s obvious Gabby is
in this ‘relationship’ for the long haul. Xena, who was
walking with her hand affectionately, placed on Gabby’s neck
gives it a squeeze to ‘keep her in check’. It was a nice
little wrap up end like we used to know. Love is in the air
folks. Love is in the air (VBG).
Plus they used the
pinch so maybe my theory that the pinch is what’s missing
really is true (LOL). Or it could be that we are done with the
writers who did the Herc scripts last year. Just because you
write Herc doesn’t mean you can write Xena. She’s not just
a female Herc as some might think (VBG). With RJ at the helm
now. Chris as a producer and Mr. Lucy Lawless out of his
‘dark mood’ I have faith that things will improve greatly.
But that’s just MHO. Next week we go into repeats so it’s
Fallen Angel. . . Again. Gotta love that Gabby face stroke in
the final act (VBG).