Episode: Dem Bones, Dem Bones
Subtext report, Xena Fanfiction, Xena and
Note: Many of these reports are littered with errors
because I wrote them quickly and 'on the fly' so I could post
them quicker to the 'Nutforum' back in the day.
Drop me a line at email@example.com.
Dem Bones, Dem Bones
it’s not subtext when Alti calls Gabby ‘Xena’s little
bitch’<LOL>. Perhaps it’s not subtext when Alti
confessions she ‘Always wanted to be inside Xena’.
Perhaps. But I have to say that subtext is very much alive and
well in the xenaverse<G>. With that said on to our
story opens with Gabby hunting for mushrooms to help with
Xena’s morning sickness. Nice, casually bonding talk
ensues<VBG>. Finally Gabby finds the mushroom that
Xena’s requested. After she eats it Xena doubles over. Gabby
races her to the healer and they watch as Xena squirms around.
Xena’s stomach opens and everyone freaks. Moments later a
skeleton pops out. Next we see Xena dart up from a pallet with
Gabby and a healer looking on. They tell her it was just a bad
dream. Xena says ‘no it was a vision’. She must go to the
Northern Amazons to see what it means.
there she finds Yakut (or whatever the heck her name is -
I’m terrible with names. Sorry). Yakut said she was
expecting Xena. Yakut examines her and says someone is after
her baby’s soul. Xena figures it must be Alti and is going
to go battle her.
gets wind of it and won’t hear of Xena going to face Alti in
her state. She wants to try first. Xena refuses. Gabby argues
that ‘She’ll protect the baby because she couldn’t love
the baby any more than if it was her own’. Now during this
speech I couldn’t help but think, ‘Well that’s because
it IS YOUR baby Gabrielle’.(LOL)
Xena says fine. Gabby has to go through the rites that Xena
did in Sin Trade - we get to see Gabby stalk an animal, kill
an animal, cover herself in blood. She returns to the village
where Xena is waiting. They are going to harness each
other’s power and by doing so they slice their palms and
lock hands. Once more we have those tending touches and long
looks that folks have been saying have left. It would have
been really touching and erotic had not the dripping blood
come into play - but hey, it’s Xena and in every Xena ep
some blood must shed right?(VBG). Right!
Gabby makes it to the ‘dreamworld’ and we get to see Alti
in all her glory - nice leather too, Emma Peel ‘Avengers’
wear(VBG). Alti greets Gabby the only way she can by saying
‘Look...It’s Xena’s little bitch’. <LOL> I can
just see Gabby’s wheels turning and thinking "Yeah. So
what...Are you jealous?(VBG)"
says she doesn’t want to hurt Xena’s baby either. She
wants to use the baby as a vessel for her soul - and a return
to earth. Gabby doesn’t defeat Alti - in fact she dies
thanks to Alti ‘draining’ her life at the count of ten.
Xena of course, doesn’t let that happen in the ‘real
world’. She does the mouth to mouth thing and Gabby wakes
decides to face Alti and when they do meet Alti sticks her
hand inside of Xena’s stomach and tells her ‘I’ve always
wanted to be inside you Xena.’ Xena doesn’t look to please
about this. Now she’s got the baby’s soul.
needs to form a plan to get the baby’s soul back. Alti says
she’ll return it if Xena can bring her back to the physical
world. The amazons and Xena’s crew decides to form a plan.
Xena and Yakut decide to get Alti’s bones while Ammarce and
Gabby go after some amber. Xena plans to use the amber on the
Alti bones to trap Alti’s soul once she has the baby’s
soul save in her belly again.
finds out that Yakut tried to get some of Alti’s power but
just ended up bring back her spirit instead. Xena is not
pleased but instead of mentioning what this woman has done to
her unborn child her first thought is of how Gabrielle was
almost killed. Now here’s the subtext part. I put my
spouse’s life before my child’s. I put my child’s life
before my best friends. Can you see a pattern here that the
queen of subtext is pointing out? If not watch the ep and see
what I mean - Gabby is still top priority in Xena’s life.
to our tale now(G). Gabby and Ammrece are at the cave for the
amber. Only thing is only an amazon can get it since it’s
guarded by a mystic named Chia. (I couldn’t help but think
of the ‘pottery that grows!!’ and I even sang the Chia pet
song. You know it, don’t you? ~Chia - Cha,cha,cha, chia
Chia says that Armmy can’t come inside because she’s not a
true amazon. Gabby asks if that’s true. Embarrassed, Armmy
runs away. But good ole Gabby is an amazon so Chia lets her
walk right in (VBG).
they all get together again Xena goes under and tells Alti
she’s got a deal. She can come back but first Xena wants the
baby. Of course Alti double-crosses her. The former skeleton
of Alti reforms itself and gives that evil laugh of victory.
But seems Xena’s not as dumb as Alti figured since Xena
created a dreamscape herself. It wasn’t the physical world
they were in but a dream. Xena in turn rips her flesh off -
kinda cool too<G> so she’s a skeleton too. Now the two
skeletons do battle! It’s kinda campy like the good old
days(G), plus it was a fight scene without LL risking her
wellbeing so that was neat to.
the amazon gather around the unconscious Xena and when Gabby
feels Xena’s belly leap she knows she has won the battle and
has the baby back. She races over and pours the amber on
Alti’s bones to trap Alti’s soul. At the same time, Xena
delivers a deathblow, cracking Alti in two right down the
middle. In the dreamscape, as with the amazons the bones turn
to dust and disappear into the air. All is right with the
world once more(G).
Xena and Gabby head out, Gabby goes to Armmy and says she has
a necklace from the amazons and each stone represents her
sisters. She said she added a stone for Armmy and gives her to
the necklace (kinda like making her one of the family.
Ahhhhhhhh. For once Armmy is thankful and not a little
piss-ant smart ass(LOL)).
all it was a nice Halloween ep. But GJWHF will still be my
favorite...for obvious reasons - it’s not everyday we get to
see Gabby bitin’ on Xena’s neck(VBG). And as for next
weeks ep looks like the girls are going to chin to do battle
with more evil offspring of LaoMa. Lots of explosions and
stuff blowing up so it should be a nifty one (VBG).