Episode: Antony and Cleopatra
Subtext report, Xena Fanfiction, Xena and
Note: Many of these reports are littered with errors
because I wrote them quickly and 'on the fly' so I could post
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Antony and Cleopatra
I’m slipping into
my flame-retardant jammies for this ep (LOL). I liked it. Xena
and Gabby working TOGETHER for once. Xena and Gabby sharing
their feelings of the situation before them . . . and despite
the male/female…ahem…bonding, the subtext that piqued the
curiosity of millions of viewers has returned.
This week opens
with Cleo bathing in a tub with her handmaids around her. Now
she must have that disease that Michael Jackson claims to have
because suddenly she’s a Caucasian (LOL). Anyway, an advisor
comes in and tells her that Marc Anthony and Brutus both want
her navy. He adds that her life may be in danger. But she
decides that her feminine wiles will determine how things play
out – they both will come to court her for her fleet. After
the advisor dude in the funny looking cap splits, a messenger
brings a scroll from Rome. Cleo opens it in the bath. Suddenly
she’s wide eyed. Blood drops in the water as a snake swims
away. The fate of the Queen of the Nile is set but not before
she tells her ‘right hand gal’ to fetch Xena.
Xena and Gabby are
looking at the pyramids when Gabby says she wishes they could
have brought Eve. Xena points out that Eve is better off with
mom in Alexandria. It’s interesting that Xena doesn’t say
‘my mom’ but the term ‘mom’. Guess it’s official –
Gabby is part of the family (VBG). Xena said their plan is to
‘become Egypt’ and then topple Rome.
Next we see Marc
Anthony who is told he’s received a gift from Cleo. The
soldiers bring in a carpet and lay it on the floor, handing
him a scroll. He excuses the men and unrolls the carpet to
reveal a very naked Cleo (AKA Xena) bound up in chains. Now I
think Liz Taylor was always a beautiful woman but LL has her
beat hands down in this scene. My GODS!! I love Xena. Have I
mentioned that?! (And yes I am that shallow from time to time
when it comes to beautiful women (VBG)). Xena tells him
she’s the queen and Egypt, like her, is his for the taking.
Antony grabs a robe or smock of some kind and drapes it over
Xena after unchaining her. He says he wants an alliance built
on trust. She agrees but tells him to come back to her palace
– she’s sure she’ll be able to find him a bed.
Around this time
Brutus busts into Cleo’s pad and says he must speak with the
queen. Gabby comes out and Brutus recognizes her. He’s
shocked she’s alive and Gabby told him he should have been
there. Brutus says he has news that Cleo’s life is in danger
and he must see her. Gabby puts her foot down and says Brutus
isn’t calling the shots round there. By now Xena has
returned with Anthony and the handmaid tells her of Brutus
arrival in private. Cleo excuses herself and tells the
handmaid to give Anthony a tour of the place. By now Brutus
has worked his way to Cleo’s bedroom where Xena is in her
old leathers. Brutus says he needs to see Cleo but Xena
refuses. She tells him that she’ll pass along the message.
Brutus in leaving apologizes to Xena and Gabby for the
Next Xena is back
in her Cleo garb in the bathtub where Gabrielle and another
woman are rubbing Xena with oil. Antony comes in and Xena
introduces Gabby as her companion. Antony makes a comment that
he would feel lucky if he could be Gabby’s hands. Gabby
gives a slight grin and a bashful look that kinda says ‘You
don’t know the half of it pal’ (LOL). Xena instructs
everyone to leave but Antony says no. They will discuss
business in the morning. Gab is shocked he refused, as is
Xena. Gabby asked how she knew Antony would say no. Xena
replies she didn’t.
Later that night
someone is creeping in Cleo’s bedroom while Xena sleeps.
Xena, of course, grabs him but before she can ask anything the
room gets firebombed. Xena and the young man escape. Xena
thinks he’s an assassin but he says no he’s not. It was
him the bombs were meant for because Antony is trying to kill
him. Antony explains that the young man is Octavius,
Caesar’s great nephew. He goes on to say that the boy is
trying to claim the throne of Rome. Xena instructs her guards
to lock him up. After he leaves Xena asks Antony why he’s
there. He tells her he’s there to put out her fire. Xena
seems very much in LUST with him – as opposed to love folks.
He kisses her on the cheek and leaves. Gabby watches the
exchange and Xena can tell something is on her
‘companions’ mind and asks what’s wrong. (Haven’t seen
that in a while folks, have we?(BG)). Gabby warns Xena that
he’s a bad boy – Xena’s type. But gone is the joking
gestures from King Con. Gabby’s got a major case of ‘LaMao
envy’ going on. Xena says not to worry. She’s gonna break
Antony and have him on his knees, figuratively of course, Xena
adds. Gabby grins and mutters ‘Of course’ in agreement.
The next day Xena
and Antony are sharing some fruit dip and listening to Natalie
Merchant sing "Carnival" – why this piece was
chosen is beyond me. It felt so out of place. Perhaps our
musical boy Joe was on vacation this week and they needed
something handy. I’m not sure. In any regard, X and A do the
dance of fruit while Gabby looks on licking her lips. Have I
mentioned I love Gabby yet? Well I love Gabby dearly. I loved
watching her, watching them and when she decides enough is
enough she walks over, crawls on the floor and comes face to
face with Xena and Antony to ‘remind’ Xena of her
appointment with her advisors. (LOL). Antony says that’s all
right adding that Rome wasn’t built in a day. After he
leaves (and here’s the part I enjoy) Gabby takes his place
on the fluffy pillows. She whips Xena’s lips and chin with
her fingers and reminds Xena not to get too deep here, while
she eats Antony’s strawberries (ROTFL). Sorry Antony.
Xena’s strawberries in the end will ALWAYS be Gabrielle’s
requests a secret meeting in the desert. The two talk and
Antony says he doesn’t want Cleo’s fleet any longer. He
wants her love. They do a little kissing until some men attack
them from Brutus’ fleet. They spare one soldier and give him
a message to take to Brutus. Antony and Egypt are now joined.
At this time Gabby goes and talks with Octavius. He says his
uncle Caesar was just power hungry and he wants to give the
citizens of Rome protection and peace– not ruling them in
fear. Gabby seems to believe him.
Gabby then reports
back to Xena and tells her Octavius doesn’t seem like the
murdering type and Xena lets Gabby know that Antony is in love
with her and doesn’t want the fleet, just her love. Gabby
doesn’t seem to happy by the news because it puts Xena in a
tough spot now…that and the fact that Gabby is in love with
her I’m sure (VBG) but again…that’s subtext.
Xena then finds
Antony looking at a map on a carpet and they have a heart to
heart talk. Antony says everything he does is for Rome.
He’ll kill Brutus and he’ll kill Octavius, although he
admits he might be a good man. I think at that point Xena
realizes she has another Caesar on her hands here . . . but it
was fun while it lasted. She tells Antony she’ll give him
her fleet, which he refuses at first. She says she knows that
he loves her. Anthony is grateful to be able to have the fleet
to destroy Brutus’ forces.
Brutus then comes
has an audience with Cleo. He realizes it’s really Xena. She
tells him that she knows he’s the one who killed Cleo. He
says he did it because in a battle of seduction he couldn’t
beat Marc Antony and he needs those ships. Xena says she’ll
give him those ships because Antony is an enemy to both of
them. Brutus doesn’t buy it but Gabby says he’ll be taking
her along at his side. He says he couldn’t ask for a better
guarantee than that and leaves happy. This was a nice scene. I
liked seeing Xena in the royal throne with Gabby sitting on
the arm next to her ‘companion’ – kinda reminded me of
those conqueror stories I’ve read (VBG).
Anyway, it’s soon
night and they are all in the water – Xena is on Antony’s
ship, Gabby is on Brutus’ ship and Octavius is on one of the
Egyptian ships. Brutus' ship rams into Antony’s and the two
groups do battle. Soon one of the soldiers tells Brutus that
the Egyptians are attacking their fleet. He gets pretty P.O.ed
because he realizes he’s been tricked. He goes after Gabby
and gives her an old fashion ass kickin’ like nobody’s
business – blood is all over her face. Brutus goes for the
kill as Gabby lies on the deck but she manages to pick up a
sword and slice his neck open. He falls back and as he’s
dying he sees Xena and screams her name. Antony looks up and
sees Brutus yelling at ‘Cleo’ – when he’s told the
Egyptians are attacking HIS fleet he realizes that he too has
been had by the warrior princess.
He menaces toward
Xena feeling betrayed and tries to take his vengeance by
killing her. Of course Xena blocks him at every turn and I
wondered as I watched if she felt guilty – she had suckered
him in much like Caesar had suckered her in years before.
Antony doesn’t succeed of course. Xena guts him and he falls
down the stairs. As the fighting dies down the only two left
standing are Xena and Gabrielle.
The next day
Octavius tells Xena that Rome is in her debt. She says she
doesn’t want anything from Rome – she just hopes that
he’ll be a just leader. She gives a touching speech about
how Cleo died for her people and how she WAS Egypt. They shake
hands and Xena walks off. He turns to Gabby and they too shake
hands. Gabby walks up with a grin – it was a good day
fighting (G) – but she soon turns stoic too as she and Xena
look out on the pyramids in the distance. Now that’s the
‘light’ that’s been missing from Gabby. She smiled but
she also realized the lives that were lost. Her and Xena
however, are still together. And although not a single word
passes between them so much was spoken in that final scene.
Boy I hope TPTB continue this trend.
The next ep
didn’t look TOO exciting based on the previews but the
upcoming teaser for the last three eps looks pretty damn good.
Dite is throwing a fireball and she doesn’t look too happy.
Gabby is lying in a bloody heap with Xena trying to pick her
up. Xena is by a fire screaming her lungs out. Ares is
carrying a limp warrior princess in his arms. It might
actually be pretty big like the stars have been saying but
I’ll hold out until I see it to pass final judgment.