Subtext report, Xena Fanfiction, Xena and
Note: Many of these reports are littered with errors
because I wrote them quickly and 'on the fly' so I could post
them quicker to the 'Nutforum' back in the day.
Drop me a line at email@example.com.
Three things I learned after
watching 'Devi'. One - Gabby does yoga. Two - Gabby has a
reeeeealy long tongue (LOL) and three - Gabby actually found
something smaller than the BGSB to wear (I know it's amazing.
Amazing my subtext friends but true(BG)).
The ep opens with Xena and
Gabby strolling through a market place in India, taking in the
sights. Xena even kinda gets into it and grins - which is so
unlike her in a new town. But from the look of things she
didn't try to take over India so she's not a bad person there.
(BG) Anyway. . .
Gabby sees this guy with his
ankles behind his head. She pulls Xena over by the arm and
they have this exchange:
G: "See why I do yoga
everyday?" ('Oh really Gabby? Who on earth would need you
in THAT position?(LOL))
X: Well you don't end up
G: Xena he's a master. I can
only hope to achieve that kind of power (I'm sure Xena does
X: Yoga is just not me.
G: When you're cripple and
old and I'm doing head stands I'll remind you of this (Awww. .
. Gabby's gonna grow old with Xena, isn't that sweet? (BG)).
X: (smirking) I bet you
They move along and see a
magician named Eli. He throws a rope up into the air where it
stays. He tells the audience if there are any skeptics out
there to see the rope for themselves. Gabby pushes Xena head
forward on the stage. Xena thinks it's a coil on the bottom
keeping it up so she slices the rope at the bottom but it
stays upright - she can't figure it out. No one can figure it
out and she takes her place beside Gabrielle again. Mia the
assistant then climbs the rope and Eli 'sends her to the
heavens' (she disappears).
Xena and Gabby still can't
figure it out but they know it's an illusion. Eli calls for
her return. She doesn't answer or show up. He does it again.
Same thing. Suddenly body parts start to fall from the ski.
The magician collects them and puts them into a trunk while he
acts frantic. Gabby is actually laughing at this point but
shielding her mouth, hoping the freaked out crowd doesn't
notice her. Eli says he'll try to save his assistant. He does
his voodoo thing and suddenly Mia pops up from the basket.
Everyone is applauding when Mia shows her eyes. Suddenly she's
become Callisto - well not literally (sorry if I got any Calli
fans in an uproar there(G)). She's got those godly contacts in
and is hissing like crazy. (VBG).
She starts to go after Eli
and Eli backs away telling the crowd that this isn't part of
the act. The crowd doesn't believe him but Xena (gotta love
her) senses that something truly is wrong. She knocks Mia into
Eli and they both topple to the ground Mia starts to spaze
out. Gabby runs over and holds her down, trying to get her
under control. Suddenly a spirit leaves the girls body and
flies around before disappearing.
Everyone now thinks Gabby is
a Devi (healing god) since she drove the demon from the girl
with her touch. The mob blames Eli for Mia's possession and
want to go after him. Xena takes him to hide in the village
temple while Gabby talks to the crowd. The mob follows Gabby
chanting 'Devi'. She touches a one eyed man and suddenly he
has sight again. He offers his 'sword to protect her' (Hey!
Little Hetro subtext there (G)) along with a few more men.
Back at the temple Eli tells
Xena that he's searching for the power to heal like Gabby
because of something that happened in childhood (always
'family' issues with TPTB huh?). He asks if Gabby is a real
Devi. Xena says, "Not the last time I checked." Now
how do you check for Godhood, I mean is there a physical
examine that goes along with it and if so, why can't we watch
Later that night, Gabby is
giving Xena a back rub. . .again. Xena's making those 'ohhh'
sounds . . . again. (~sigh~ backrubs are getting trite around
here folks(G). Give me some hot tongue action (LOL). Oh wait,
that comes later in this report (BG). Anyway. . .). Where was
I, oh yeah, Xena's lovin her back rub and makes an off handed
comment that since Gab's so good (~chuckle~) she just might be
a Devi. Gabby stops and says that she might be a devi because
she healed a man and it felt like a spirit entered her. Xena
doesn't like the sound of this. Then Gabby goes on to say that
she now has the power to control life. . .and death. Xena
reeeealy doesn't like this now.
Next morning Xena is sitting
up awake, deep in thought. She rouses Gabby and tells her that
they'll eat, do some yoga and get going. Gabby knows that Xena
is just testing her to see if she's still the same little bard
she knows and loves. Gabrielle tells Xena not to worry, the
people have probably forgotten about it. But as they go to the
balcony the town is surrounded their inn. Xena definitely
doesn't like this and runs off to find Eli. Gabby meanwhile is
starting to soak it up.
The priest of the temple who
at the beginning didn't like Eli very much is hanging dead.
Eli said he didn't do it but Xena isn't sure what to believe
but she doesn't let the magician leave either.
They see Gabby with her
'bodyguards' as the villagers pay tribute to her by giving her
pearls (Did you know that the pearl is actually a slang word
for a certain part of the female anatomy? A pretty important
one too (VBG) Just thought I'd throw that in). Suddenly the
guards disappear and Xena said she's going to find out what's
going on. Eli freaks however when Gabby casts a glare his way.
He runs but comes across some very nasty looking dogs. They
chase him and Xena tries to help him by running around the
city trying to lose them. They do lose the dogs after they run
smack dead into Gabby as they round a corner. Gabby looks at
the dogs and they run away. Xena picks this up and so does
To get outta the jam of
having the town try to lynch him again, Eli acts like he's
possessed and asks for the 'Devi's' help. Suddenly he starts
to float up in the air. He goes to the crowd and convinces
them that he's a good guy. Gabby walks over to Xena and says
she didn't do anything. When they look back Eli has split the
Xena finds Eli at the temple
getting holy water. He hints that Gabby is evil and another
priest can bless the water so he'll be protected to take on
any demons. Xena sees a painting and Eli tells her the story
of a goddess who acted like a healer but sent hundreds to
their death in the fight against the god Rama. She's deceptive
and Xena's gotta feeling things are worse than she thought.
She knows things are worse
after she gets back to the square to see Gabby covered in
pearls (Did I mention that pearl is the slang for. . .oh yeah.
. .I did (BG)). Later that night, Gabby is watching herself in
a mirror when Xena come behind her. Gabby said she knows she
looks 'a bit much' but she's still the same underneath. Xena
drops a bottle of holy water (butterfingers Xena (BG)).
Gabby asks what it is and
Xena says a little insurance. Gabby becomes a tad pissed. She
opens the bottle and says 'Let's see if sacred water eats
through my skin. Gab pours it over her and asks, 'Am I
sizzling now? Am I burning?" (Well yeah Gabby. . .You're
always hot in my book darlin'. (BG)). Gabby asks Xena if she
still thinks she's evil. Xena now gets a tad pissed too - she
tells Gabby it wasn't a test. She took the water from Eli to
keep him in town until they understand what's going on. Gabby
apologizes but tries to lay a guilt trip on Xena.
Xena reasons, trying to
discuss the story Eli told her, but Gabby cuts her off. Gabby
lays on another guilt trip and some potential tears.
Kitty-whipped Xena now pulls her close and strokes her hair.
She tells Gabby not to cry now and keeps repeating she's sorry
(You know . . . this is the first 'I'm sorry'. I've ever heard
Xena say to Gabby. If anyone knows another, I'd like the know
what ep. Anyway. . .)
Eli is still at the temple
hiding. He thinks he hears Xena but it's one of Gabby's goons.
They fight - Xena has a new move that's pretty neat. Eli tries
to help Xena by shooting the water bottle in the thugs face as
a diversion. Suddenly the guys flesh starts to melt. Eli
doesn't understand. But Xena does (BG). She realized that
Gabby knows too. When the evil spirit left the young woman it
went into Gabby. Eli touched the girl first and HE 'cast out'
the demon because HE'S the true Devi. Gabby is now an evil
Xena goes back to Gabby and
tells her a story about how Eli is hurt and he needs her help.
Gabby's concerned and yells for one of her guards. She asked
if Mr. Goon has come back yet and he says no. Xena lets on
that she knows who Gabby really is now. Gabby smiled evilly
and says it's a good thing she sent back up. Xena takes off to
save Eli. She finds him racing in the woods and she tells him
he has to perform the exorcism on Gabby like the girl Mia. He
says no. He doesn't think he has the power. Xena decides
she'll do it and asks him what she needs. He tells her - an
icon from Gabby.
The guards are patrolling
the hotel but Xena sneaks in and goes through Gabby's bag. She
picks a quill. Gabby starts a riot in the city knowing it will
drive peacekeeper Xena into the open. This evil god is crafty.
She knows Xena's weaknesses (BG). Gabby says all this will end
as soon as they have Xena to insure the safety of everyone.
Xena jumps down and announces herself.
Gabby sees the quill and
water and she knows what's up. Not only is she crafty - she
knows how to bat those lashes at Xena, knocking her total off
center. She struts over to Xena and knocks the holy water
outta her hand.
"You're gonna have to
kill this sweet little body to do it (exorcism). . .and I
don't think you can," Gabby tells her.
"Watch me," Xena
answers, knocking Gabby onto some hot coals. She stands there
trying to seduce Xena with her come hither looks. Xena sends
her chakram into a table knocking a bunch of water on the
coals - creating a cover of steam. Once the mist leaves Xena
is in Gabby's face and they have this exchange:
X: I'm warning you Nitaka
(evil god). Get out while you still can.
G: "And give up this
face" (she says starting to twirl around) "and this
firm . . . strong . . .body?" (her hands travel up her
abs, across her breasts and to her neck. They cut a way to
Xena for a brief moment and she looks unsure of what to do.
But the part that got me was the 'hubba,hubba!' look Xena has
at the end of her shot. It's half a second before they cut
away. If you have slowmo on your VCR check it out. Damn
director!! ARGHH! Anyway, Gabby then snakes her hands up
around the sides of Xena's head like she's going to pull her
in for a kiss). "Not a chance!" (she licks the side
of Xena's face from her cheek to her forehead! Be still my
beating heart!!(LOL) I've read. . .hell, I've wrote fan
fiction like that! (VBG)).
Xena stumbles away screaming
and comes back with a big burn mark on her face. They start to
fight again (and this is where Xena gets the really bad butt
kicking but still nothing like the Gab Drag for those into
vengeance) and Xena finally gets the upper hand. She knows
that she can't save Gabby - she has to destroy her. Even Gabby
seems to know this as she comes back for a brief moment before
Xena's about to delivery the death blow with her sword. She
raises to strike after the real Gabby gives her 'approval' (IMHO).
Suddenly Eli shouts for Xena
to stop. Xena looks over and Evil Gabby throws dirt in Xena's
face. She gets Xena's sword and races to kill Eli since he's
the only one who can release the demon. But Xena does a new
torpedo move and mows them all down. She puts the pinch on
Gabby and tells Eli to do his stuff. He does and the spirit
leaves Gabby going back into the heavens again. Xena collects
Gabby in her lap and kisses and hugs her.
Next Eli, Gabby and Xena are
walking through the village. Eli said he's going his own way.
Gabby and Eli shake hands. Eli and Xena shake hand and hug as
she thanks him for saving the bard. They watch him leave
before they travel on their way. Fade to black.
Next weeks looks pretty
funky. It's the return of Alti, reincarnation, Xena's
spiritual quest and perhaps the ep where Gabby gets a big time
hair trim. Guess well have to wait and see.