Found (S-4, E-13)
Subtext report, Xena Fanfiction, Xena and
Note: Many of these reports are littered with errors
because I wrote them quickly and 'on the fly' so I could post
them quicker to the 'Nutforum' back in the day.
Drop me a line at email@example.com.
I’m changing my title to
the Queen of Maintext.(G) TPTB were right. Subtext has passed.
These two women are a couple! We might not have seen that love
scene or first kiss but I know that they are a couple now –
absolutely; no doubt about it. With that . . .on with the ep.
We open the scene with the
basic subtext shot – Gabby’s clothes scattered throughout
a cave with Xena and Gabby talking about being in India
because Gabby wanted to come there. Seems Xena got hurt
fighting off some bad guys and needs stitches in her thigh.
Gabby goes to work on it but after the discussion goes to
Xena’s dark side and about how she ‘enjoyed’ beating
those guys up, Xena takes the thread and needle away from
Gabby saying the bard’s got hands like a sailor. (LOL) No
lie. I didn’t make that up. What does it means? I have no
idea . . . but it sounds as funny as hell. (VBG)
Anyway, Gabby starts saying
that they should look inward to themselves for change as she
dresses. Xena gets that misty, deer in the headlights look –
that vision is causing problems again. Gabby snaps Xena outta
it and says that they will shape their own destiny.
They hear a noise and Gabby
goes to check it out since Xena is laid up (G) (I’m talking
about her wound people. Get your mind outta the gutter (LOL)).
Xena calls for Gabby. Gabby doesn’t answer. Xena goes in
search for Gabby. Xena finds a big hole. Xena yells for Gabby.
Gabby doesn’t answer. Xena jumps in hole. It’s a big, deep
hole. It’s a very, very big, deep hole.
They wake up in this lush,
tropical surrounding. Xena asks Gabby ‘What is it with you
and holes?’ (Feel free to insert your own subtext joke here
(LOL)). Xena’s leg is magically healed. They wonder if they
are in Illusia again or if they have died. They run into a man
I’ll call ‘weasel guy’ throughout. Weasel guy tells them
to go see Aden the guy that ‘owns everything there except
(him)’. Xena and Gab go check things out. Aden meets them
and talks about inner peace. Xena wants to grab the next horse
outta town but Aden offers them food, clothing and lodging for
the night. Gabby asks if he could throw in a bath and he’s
more than willing. I think Gabby swats Xena on the butt at
this point but I’m not sure. (G) I could be wrong. Whatever
she did touch gets a reaction out of Xena in any case. It’s
not often Xena gets wide eyed. (VBG)
Now they are in the bath.
Gabby emerges from the water and says this is bliss. She takes
skeptical Xena by the hand and leads her into the water. Once
she gets her in she starts to rub Xena’s shoulder and they
discuss Aden. Xena still doesn’t trust him but she’ll give
him a second chance. At that point they see someone outside.
Xena gets out of the water, naked as a jaybird. Weasel falls
on the floor in front of her with clothes for Gabby to wear.
He calls Xena ‘sir’ and Xena turns around and looks at
Gabby and says ‘Sir?’. Gabby looks Xena’s body over with
a smirk – no, she’s definitely not a ‘sir’ (VBG).
Gabby and Aden are doing
exercises and ‘breathing’. Aden tells Gabby if she taps
into her inner-self she can make anything she wants – he
shows her by making a flower appear in his hand. She wants to
learn how to make the world the ways she wants and to teach
Xena how to do it too.
Xena, who’s doing
exercises of her own, starts to wig out – fighting imaginary
foes. She doesn’t look like she’s finding the peace that
Gabby is finding. She sets off and finds the bard with Aden.
Gabby starts to cry about Hope. Aden comforts her and Xena
looks like she wants to do something too but she can’t so
she walks away instead.
Gabby is now lying on a yin
and yang bed (resting on the white side of course (G)) while
Xena is doing sit ups next to her. Xena is ranting about how
she hates being at Aden’s wonderland and Gabby talks about
how she hasn’t been this peaceful since before Hope was
born. Gabby wants to stay and says it’s because she likes
Aden and the way she’s feeling. Xena gets possessive and
says ‘Oh I get it - you ‘like’ him’. Gabby assures her
that’s not the case. She only wants to face her demons so
she can move on. Xena reluctantly agrees to stay another day.
For Gabby. (Boy is Xena ‘kitty’ whipped big time (LOL).
While Gab sleeps, Xena
watches her leg wound reappear and disappear again. She knows
something is up but she can’t put her finger on it. Next
day, Gab is talking with Aden about Xena. She’s worried
about Xena’s dark side. Aden tells her Xena may go through
changes in appearance, delusions and bleeding but she can
defeat her darkness if she tries.
Gabby goes to Xena and finds
her in the tub again. Gabrielle tells Xena she’s worried
about her and wants to know what she can do for Xena. The
warrior, take Gabrielle’s hand that’s on her shoulder and
brings it to her face. She nuzzles Gabby’s hand and says,
‘You know what I want? You know what I want?’. The she
proceeds to break Gabby’s hand as Gabby screams. But it’s
just an illusion. Gabby still has her hand on Xena’s
shoulder. Xena tells her she’s fine and Gabby goes away
telling her she knows where she can find her.
Xena then goes to Aden to
find out what is going on. He tells her that the ‘real
her’ is coming out. He tells her it will only get worse and
her delusions will be come reality. Xena doesn’t believe she
could hurt Gabrielle but even as she argues she has the vision
of bitch slapping Gabby (guess Xena doesn’t remember TBS
either. Anyway...). Aden tells Xena she should leave for the
good of herself and Gabrielle.
We see Xena writing a
‘Dear Jane’ letter when her nose starts to bleed on the
parchment. Gabby comes in and Xena hides the paper. Gabby is
hunched over and says she hurt her back during one of the
exercises. Xena says she can fix her so Gabby lays down while
Xena undresses her and rubs out the kink. She continues down
her arms (Hey Gabby didn’t complain about her arms!) and to
her hands (Hey Gabby didn’t complain about her hands!). She
works her way down Gabby’s back again; over her butt (Hey
Gabby didn’t complain about her butt!) and down her legs
(Hey Gabby didn’t complain about her legs!). In other words,
not a part of Gabby was left untouched (too bad she was lying
on her stomach (LOL)). We might have had some ‘really’
maintext there if Xena was working on Gabby’s front (LOL).
And for those of you who think this isn’t maintext already
– how many of you give your best friends butt a rub down (LOL).
Thought so(G). . . But there just friends ~in a sickening
sing-song voice~. Yeah right and I got some ocean front
property in Florida you’ll just love to see.(LOL). People in
denial make me sick.(VBG)
So while Gabby is getting
her rub down, Xena’s nose is continuing to bleed and she’s
telling Gabby how wonderful she is and how no one should ever
hurt her again. She starts to have delusions again but forces
them away. Soon she finishes. Gabby’s relaxed enough to fall
asleep (which proves the point this must not be the ‘first
time’ Xena’s done this) and Xena whispers good bye.
Xena hunts down weasel guy
and finds out that Aden’s statues that decorate much of his
land are actually people. He sucked the goodness out of them
to give him his power. Xena knows Gabby is in danger (again
~sigh~) and has a plan to save her using the weasel guy. Xena
really starts to go over the edge at this point. She kills
little cute fuzzy animals and everything! She grows buck teeth
and has another bad hair day (but no lice this time(G)). She
looks kinda like a demented female Jerry Lewis (LOL).
Anyway, she goes to see Aden
and ‘take him on’ to get her Gabby back. Aden throws her
around mental like an evil LaMao. Gabby is starting to turn
blue like his other statues. Nothing seems to be working in
beating Aden. Xena screams in Gabby’s face but she doesn’t
even blink. Good job on ROC’s part here – she didn’t
even move (G). Weasel guy shows up and Xena kicks her sword up
and picks the weasel up to throw him on the sword – just for
kicks I’m assuming. This gets through to Gabby and she yells
for Xena to stop. Xena does what Gabby asks and kicks the
sword to the side, burying into Aden chest. Everything
melts/dissolves and Xena, Gabby and weasel guy are back in the
cave. Aden’s world is destroyed and everything in it
disappears - including Gabby’s clothes she was wearing. She
hides behind Xena who backs up as she talks to weasel guy
until Gabby can get something to cover herself with. Xena said
she knew Gabrielle was still ‘in there’ and when she
threatened an innocent life (weasel guy) it would break
Aden’s spell. They wish weasel guy well and he goes off to
find his family that was left behind since being stuck in
Aden’s kingdom. Gabby said that Xena’s dark side isn’t
as bad as she’d been thinking – it actually does serve a
purpose in their life on the road. Gabby then turns to Xena
and asks if she really thinks she has hands like a sailor.
Xena just smirks and they fade to black.
I really liked this one. Not
just the subtext but the fact that Gabby found someway to deal
with her feelings about Hope. Sure it almost got her killed (VBG)
but sometimes getting to the truth in one’s heart can be
pretty frightening and dangerous – maybe that’s why it had
appeal. Maybe it’s because I never thought Xena’s dark
side was all that bad and Gabby (and Xena in a way) came to
terms with that. But then again maybe I just like watching
Xena rub Gabby’s ass (LOL). In any case, I believe, it was a
Disclaimers: Paradise was
found but not necessarily embraced during the production of
this motion picture.
Next week: Gabby gets turned
into ‘healer of the world’ but Xena wants her Gabby back.
I’m not sure how it happens but Gabby kicks a little warrior
princess butt. And without a staff! Looks like the Indian Gods
really take a shine to Gabby but then again, who wouldn’t (VBG).