The Shoe Fits (S-4, E-12)
Subtext report, Xena Fanfiction, Xena and
Note: Many of these reports are littered with errors
because I wrote them quickly and 'on the fly' so I could post
them quicker to the 'Nutforum' back in the day.
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If The Shoe Fits
Xena and Gabrielle ARE a
couple. I’m convinced after this ep. Not because of any
heartfelt confessions or passionate kisses (which this ep does
not contain). I say this because they ‘act’ like a couple.
Anyway onto our story. . .
Xena and Gabby are the girls
of invention. Edison’s got nuthin’ on these two. Today’s
invention is ‘the shower’. Gabby is bathing under a pail
of hot water that has holes in it. While she’s scrub adub
dubbing (the woman does have a beautiful back BTW), Xena is
waking up all cranky because Gabby didn’t wake her up like
she was supposed to. . .So Gabby is supposed to be Xena’s
shoulder to cry on, bedroll warmer and now, alarm clock.
Xena, it appears since
she’s grumbling to herself, wants to capture a warlord named
Zantar to take him back to jail. She looks for some rope but
doesn’t find what she needs. As Gabby continues to bathe we
see her BGSB get stolen. Xena goes and rounds up the bad
warlord. She comes back to see Gabby wearing a sack and
telling her that the BGSB was stolen, probably by some
‘fashionable beaver’. <LOL> I’m sorry, you’ll
have to put your own subtext joke in here. I can’t do it
because this is a family forum <VBG>. (But I will have
you notice throughout the ep that the sack gets smaller and
smaller – Gabby just can’t seem to stay covered no matter
what she’s wearing.<LOL>)
Anyhow. . .Xena looks guilty
and Gabby noticed the warlord is wrapped up in a green cloth
of some kind. The Gabster ain’t too impressed with the fact
Xena is stealing the shirt off her back, literally. Xena gets
a little huffy asking why Joxer is still asleep and as Gabby
explains ‘I was topless’. Xena doesn’t argue anymore.
She just tossing a cup of water on the buffoon who wakes up in
buffoon style. Couple clue number one: If you think you own
anything anymore once you get hitched you’re sadly mistaken.
Your house, your clothes and even your food is a potential
target for your mates ‘consumption’. Ask Gabby, she can
tell ya all about it.
The four of them (Xena,
Gabby, Joxer and Zantar the warlord) set off down the road.
Xena compliments Gabby on her sack she’s wearing but Gabby
says brown isn’t her color. Xena argues the point that
‘she likes it, it’s got that rustic feel’. Gabby
doesn’t seem to stay mad at Xena too long because she cracks
a smile. She doesn’t get much chance to reply because they
hear an explosion and race into a temple.
Inside, Aphrodite is with a
little girl who was playing with a bottle marked
‘passion’. The girl runs to Xena (Xena knows her father,
the kingdom’s king) and she asks Xena to save from her evil
fairy-gods- mother, Dite. Dite says take the kid and split so
they do. And Alysia tells that she hates her step-mother and
Xena goes to check on the
warlords men to see if they are being followed and Gabby
starts to tell Alysia (sp?) the story of Teriella(sp?) to pass
the time (I’m not going to tell you the substories but some
are more cute than others. Just keep in mind that every
storyteller is the ‘star’ of the tale).
Dite realize that she misses
being a mom since Cupid is grown now and she decides to find
the girl to make her the demi-goddess of puppy love. Dite
shows up at the scene and tells her version of Teriella (I
think I liked this one best because ROC plays a good
geek<G>.Plus Gabby also likes to watch Xena wiggle –
I’m not going to explain. You’ll have to see it to
understand<BG>). It doesn’t last long. Xena returns
and tells Dite she had her chance, get lost.
Xena then tries to make
peace with Gabby by cooking dinner for her. Couple clue number
two: This is called keeping the peace. Doing something for
your spouse you don’t normally do because you want to get
outta hot water.
Gabrielle goes back to
telling the story but Xena asks where the frying pan is. Gabby
tells her ("Where it usually is . . .MY BAG!") and
goes back to her story. Then Xena asks for the spoons.
Gabby’s getting more frustrated, but tells her. Then Xena
asks if they have any butter and sugar. That’s it! Gabby is
up and doing the job herself because it’s ‘easier if (she)
does it’ (Listen close when Gabby is out of the picture –
you’ll hear her make a comment to Xena about putting the
frying pan down because she’s going to get herself hurt.<LOL>).
Couple clue number three: This is called the bait and switch.
You act so incompetent that you get out of doing the job you
said you would do and have your spouse do it for you. Men are
masters at this and Xena, who is by far the more
‘masculine’ of the two, has this down to an art
Anyway, Gabby tells Joxer if
he wants to eat, he better finish the story so he goes into
Back to Gabby and Xena –
Gabby is hunting for the oil and the cooking supplies while
Xena’s kicked back, rattling on, about how she’s a woman
of action and not a storyteller. Former storyteller, now
short order cook, Gabby throws the waterskins at Xena and tells
her to ‘take some action’ and get them some water. Couple
clue number four: Nothing pi**es off a spouse faster than taking
over a job for your spouse only to have them
‘supervise’ or take life easy. Gabby is not thrilled at
this point with Xena.
When Xena is comes back she
says she’s spotted Zantar’s men. Gabby asks if Xena needs
anything from her - "My boots. My skirt. My
underwear". "Nah," Xena answers, "That
would be too cruel." Gabby still isn’t very impressed
with Xena and I can see that it’s going to be one chilly
night for the warrior princess.
Joxer continues his story,
but the girl takes off. Dite disguises herself as an old woman
and asks Gabby for help. Gabby leaves and Dite takes the
chance to free the warlord in exchange for helping her get the
girl back. Xena comes back and blames Gabby for everyone’s
‘escape’ and finds the little girl on a hill side. Alysia
explains that she hated Joxer's story and had to get away.
Xena rounds up the troop and
heads to the king. On the way, she tells her version of the
independent Terilla who doesn’t need a prince to be happy.
Gabby gets upset when her character in the tale is reduced to
Xena tries to tell Gabby, it’s not a bad thing. She thinks of
her as family, and –.
She doesn’t get the chance
to finish. Gabby storms off and Xena tries to act carefree
about it, but you see she’s worried that she may have finally
DONE it. Xena gets the little girl home and makes the stepmom
and the little girl sort things out. Xena then sees the gang
stealing the kings jewels. Gabby, on the other hand, has gone to
Dite and asked her to leave the little girl alone so she can
sort things out with her family.
Xena finds the bad guys and
Gabby shows back up to help her kick butt. Back at the castle,
the little girl is upset because she feels she’s messed
everything up – the warlord got her dad’s treasure and
Gabrielle left Xena forever. But step-mom assures her
everything is fine.
Xena does the same too when
the trio arrives to return the kings jewels to him. Alysia
asks how Xena’s story ends since she didn’t finish it. She
wanted to know if Teriella married the prince and lived
happily ever after. Xena says, "No, she didn’t marry the
prince. She and her fairy gods sister made a pact – from now
on they would help each other be all that they could be."
Dite shows up and tells the
girl to stay with her family because they really love her.
Xena turns to Gabby and asks what made her decide to come back
to her. Gabby said they were family and they should stay
together and work things out. Joxer gets another group
hug<G> and as they leave Gabby tells them about her
latest story she’s considering – a wooden boy whose nose
grows when he tells a lie.
Disclaimer: No Fractured
Fables were harmed in the production of this motion picture.
Next week is the big one!
The new tub scene will be in Paradise Found. Looks like Xena
and Gabby have found paradise, but the trip looks like it takes
a turn for the worst – thanks to Xena (of course! She’s
always causing trouble<G>). Seriously though, looks like
this might be one of those eps that appeal to everyone<VBG>.