Xena Fanfiction, Xena fanfic, Xena fan fiction, Xena and
Gabrielle fanfiction, Xena fiction
for naughty language, violence, drug use...the usual.
Xena and the gang aren’t mine. They belong to
MCA/Universal/Studio USA and a bunch of other folks who now
own them. If the thought of two ladies in love is unappealing
please proceed on to another story.
a great out-of-print book called ‘Sappho: A Garland. The
Poems & Fragments of Sappho’ Translated by Jim Powell.
It’s very short and easy to understand -- it talks about
Sappho’s life and works. Some aspects in the book I
incorporated directly into this story. Others, well, I used a
bit of creative license. For over 10 years, I had this idea
rattling around in my head. TPTB were going to do a
Sappho ep in Season Four, with Xena having ANOTHER
doppelganger, Sappho. They dropped the idea because they said
they couldn't figure out how to keep the subtext sub. This
'episode' takes place in Season Six, rather than Season Four,
since Sappho is mentioned in S6's 'Many Happy Returns', which
is 30 years AFTER Season Four.
This story is dedicated to two of my best friends, Bridget and
Norma, who I lost within a year of each other. It was actually
through the Xenaverse that I met them so decided as a tribute
I’d finally put this story on ‘paper’.
In this traditional, season six, subtext story that's part
French farce; part musical, Gabrielle has a Doppelganger, the
Poetess Sappho. It's up to Gabby, Xena and Sappho's friend,
the goddess Aphrodite, to guard Sappho during the 10th Muse
Competition...Of course they must also try to repair Sappho's
damaged relationship with her lover, and bandmate, Anaktoria.
Feedback: Sure, drop me a line
at email@example.com or feel free to
contact me via the form on my site at www.cnscaldron.com.
the trio walked inside the inn, suddenly Gabrielle had a cloak
transform around her with the wave of Aphrodite’s hand.
is this for?” the bard asked.
pulled the hood up to cover Gabrielle’s features.
might be best if you hide for now, Gabby. I did warn her, but
still, the sight of you might startle Sappho. ”
why are we here exactly?” Xena asked as they made their way
to the bar.
been trying to kill Sappho,” Aphrodite explained. “There
have been three attempts on her life in just as many weeks.
She had brown hair before, but her features? Oh wow! She's totally
Gabby. So I convinced her to let me ‘color correct’ her
hair. If I could make her blonde, I thought they could ‘swap
places’ and Sappho could masquerade as our Sweet Pea and
when the next attempt happens...” Xena surmised, “we
thwart it and Sappho will be safe?”
my plan. I figure I’d keep Sappho with you, Xena. Then
Gabrielle could stay with Anaktoria posing as Sappho. This way
people will think that Xena and ‘Gabrielle’ are just
taking in a show. Follow me?”
not a bad idea,” Xena commended.
I’ve tried to find out who’s behind it myself, but I
always seem to be a day late and a dinar short. I thought
maybe Ares would help me but, you know him, ‘What’s in it
for me, Sis?’ So forget him. Sappho’s my galpal, like
Gabby, and I want to help her. Besides, so much of her poetry
is about me so, really, what’s not to love!”
and Xena smiled at each other and shook their heads at
theories on who it might be?” Gabrielle asked.
she’s got lots of fans, and she's known the world over, but
she has few friends. Sometimes it’s plain ole jealousy, but
she’s burned a few bridges in her time too – politically,
socially. Plus, she’s really tough on her band – a real
perfectionist and her word is the final say, which means lots
of people have quit over the years. Add the fact that more
than a husband or two has wanted to kill her for ‘corrupting
their women’ and… well, take your pick on who wants her
Xena muttered. “We’ve got an egomaniacal, adulterous,
musical tyrant to keep safe, who, chances are, isn’t going
to be pleased having Gabrielle step into her shoes for the
biggest competition of her life. Sound about right?”
goddess simply tapped her own nose in agreement.
she really looks like me,” Gabrielle began. “…how hard
can it be to make people believe we’re the same person?
You’ve done it countless times,” she added to Xena.
is a bit…” Aphrodite let it hang.
can do seductive,” Gabrielle complained.
hot, honey, no doubt. But honestly? This is different,”
Aphrodite tried to compliment her, yet still sounded a tad
patronizing in the process.
“Hey,” Gabrielle whined.
I love you, but she’s like seductive day and night. She just
oozes…” Again, Aphrodite paused for the proper wording.
Xena said devoid of emotion.
Aphrodite replied and motioned her hand in agreement toward
“So I have no sex appeal?” the bard asked.
eyes darted between Xena and Aphrodite as if daring one of
them to answer. Xena opened her mouth, but no words came out.
you do,” Aphrodite answered, saving Xena from having to
reply. “But Sappho?… She flirts with anything in a skirt,
much to Anaktoria’s dismay.”
Xena added with a touch of relief.
is her better half I take it?” Gabrielle asked.
At first, Anaktoria took it in good spirit, because Sappho
adored her. She knew her lover had that fun-time, party girl
image to preserve, and once the footlights were extinguished;
Ana knew she was Sappho’s number one girl. Lately though,
they’re both been tongue lashing each other pretty good and
not in a sexy way.”
and Gabrielle both snickered.
leads me to point two,” Aphrodite continued.
Ana and Sappho to love each other again?” Gabrielle asked.
Aphrodite replied. “I put a lot of work into them and I
could cheat and call in Cupie to do the arrow thing, but I
want it to be, you know, real. Some people are just meant to
be. They’re soul mates.” She looked expectedly at them
looked at Gabrielle first with a grin and then turned to
what do you need?” the warrior asked.
them why they fell in love. Maybe if Anaktoria gets affection
from someone who looks like her lover, and Sappho sees she
might be replaced, it could start the real thing again.”
you worried Ana will fall for me?” Gabrielle asked. “Or
what if Sappho tries to get even by using Xena, which will
hurt Ana even more?”
Xena told Gabrielle before the goddess could answer. “It’s
not like anything would really happen. I know where my
home and family are - it's right here,” she added as she
waved a finger between them. She then turned to Aphrodite.
“Besides, it took 30 years of trial and lots of errors to
learn how to please a passionate, opinionated bard. Point is,
I’m not looking to trash all that work to babysit some
looked confused, as if she was unsure she was being
complimented or if she was seen as a burden.
thank you...I think?” she replied in a questioning tone.
bumped shoulders with Gabrielle and they both chuckled
on, guys. Be serious,” Aphrodite whined while the pair
smiled at each other good-naturedly.
Xena told her. “We’re in.”
workers in the inn began to turn down the lanterns as a woman
dressed in a white hooded robe took to the center of a large
stage. It was surrounded with seated patrons at round tables.
With her back to the crowd, the gathering began to chant.
put her hand in the air and a bass line began to
footlights got brighter and soon some brass horns and drums
joined in, much to the delight of the now cheering crowd.
leaned over to Gabrielle, not taking her eyes off the woman on
her,” she told the bard. “Pay attention to how she moves,
how she acts. And don’t look away – you need to take it
simply nodded and looked back to the stage like everyone else.
woman center stage gave a loud wolf whistle and two skimpily
clad women walked out and ripped the robe away. Everyone’s
eyes opened and jaws dropped for a moment, including the three
women at the bar. Sappho stood in a string bikini, even more
scantily clad than the eye candy from moments before.
then began to saunter to the edge of the stage confidently as
she's a brrrrick……….houuuuse
mighty mighty… a-just lettin' it all hang ouuuuuuut
she sang, her eyes scanned the audience, taking in who was
present. She noticed a rather busty woman at one of the
tables. She pointed at the patron as her hips gyrated to the
she's a brrrrick……….houuuuse
lady's stacked and that's a fact,
holdin’ nothing back.
she's a brrrrick……….houuuuse
then leapt from the stage in one fluid movement and landed on
the first table in front of her. The concert goers began to
laugh and helped her down as she continued to sing.
together everybody knows,
this is how the story goes.
ran her index fingers down the cheeks of the man and woman who
helped, but then she focused solely on the woman. She began to
sing to her, cupping the young woman’s cheek as she did.
knows she’s got everythhhhhing
a woman needsss… to get a man… yeah, yeah.
can she loooooose with what she use
she continued the verse, her hand worked its way along the
woman’s side, caressing the woman’s curves as she sang.
owww, what a winning hand!
woman blushed and squealed as Sappho let her go. The poetess
then looked around the room for her next target.
she's a brrrrick……….houuuuse
mighty mighty… a-just lettin' it all hang ouuuuuuu
locked eyes with Xena and the warrior turned to Aphrodite
much for laying low,” she told the goddess.
Gabrielle swore and tried to turn her head and tighten the
cloak as Sappho worked her way over toward them.
she's a brrrrick……….houuuuse
the lady's stacked and that's a fact,
holdin’ nothing back.
she's a brrr-rick……….houuuuse
moved up next to Xena. She grabbed the warrior by the hips and
that’s when Gabrielle turned to see what was happening. Her
expression could have been considered a scowl or a look of surprise.
Sappho caught sight of the look-alike bard and began to grin.
She shot a quick glance to Aphrodite and then really grinned
wide. She released Xena and faced Gabrielle.
she’s the one, the only one
like a amazon
asking, Sappho pulled down cloak’s hood and untied it,
letting her hands linger above Gabrielle’s cleavage.
clothes she wearrrrs, her sexy waaaays,
an old man wish for younger daaays, yeah, yeah
then ripped off Gabby’s cloak, letting if fall
unceremoniously to the floor as she made a grand gesture at
the bard’s figure. The audience nearby, who noticed the
similarities between them, gave a collective sigh of surprise
knows she's built and knows how to pleeeeeeeease
bumped shoulders conspiratorial with Xena, who was trying not
brings the strongest warrior down to her kneesss.
she's a brrrrick……….houuuuse
slapped Xena’s arm playfully and then moved toward the other
side of the room. She continued to make her way around the
room, singing and flirting with every woman with reach,
keeping each one of the captivated by her antics. Gabrielle
seemed mesmerized too as she watched her.
she wrapped up the song, Sappho slid on her knees and ended up
in front of the warrior princess again. She gripped the back
of Xena’s legs and licked her lips before she looked up
band played a few moments longer before they stopped, which
ended with the crowd roaring for her. During the applause,
Xena reached down and pulled Sappho to stand. Not an inch
separated them as the poetess looked up into Xena’s eyes.
Soon the crowds returned to their drinks and meals and Sappho
focused completely on Xena, unmoving.
returned Ms. tall, dark and… leathery. The dress of
course; not your skin. Your skin is…” Sappho then
couldn’t help but smile.
hear someone’s trying to kill you,” Gabrielle interrupted
in a voice that lacked any amusement. The flat tone of her
voice made the grin fall from Xena’s lips.
turned to the bard. She released Xena gently. In a fluid
movement, she had Gabrielle pinned against the bar with an arm
placed on either side of her so she couldn’t leave.
Gabrielle looked left and then right for an escape, but she
was trapped. The only place she could look was deeply into the
poetess equally green eyes.
is soooo…trippy,” Sappho said. “It’s like a living
mirror. It’s uncanny, Dite. You were right. She’s…
me!” she laughed.
started to get a wicked grin. She snuggled into Gabrielle’s
shoulder, and turned them so they both faced Xena.
think, Xena – two for the price of one tonight,” she said
as she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. “Tell me that
thought hasn’t crossed your mind at least ONCE in your
gonna happen. No,” Gabrielle said flatly.
maybe she’s not me,” Sappho said stepping back. “But you
could with a little practice,” she offered.
Gabrielle said flatly again.
what a stick in the mud,” Sappho groaned.
when another voice called out, “Sappho?”
poetess sighed. “Speaking of sticks...” In a louder voice,
she said in an annoyed tone, “Over here, Ana.”
woman came over, her jaw slightly open at the sight of Sappho
standing next to Gabrielle.
the goddess herself. You look
just like Saf,” Ana said before she gave a quick look of
‘hello’ to Aphrodite. She then turned to Xena. "And
trailed off. “Who
are you?” she muttered more to herself than
Xena, who looked like her own
Xena began to grin yet said nothing.
also watched Ana, who was still mesmerized by how identical
know!” Aphrodite laughed. “Totally tubular, right!? You
all look the same! It's perfect!”
Sappho began, “this is Xena and her partner, Gabrielle.
Ladies? This is Anaktoria, Ana for short. She’s…” Sappho
trailed off as Ana fainted and fell toward a group of patrons
behind them. Luckily, they managed to catch her and rest her
gently on the floor. Once she was safely on the ground, they
went back to their conversation as if nothing had happened.
passing out at the moment,” Sappho finished.
poetess motioned to the barkeep. Without question, he handed
her a mug of water. Sappho casually tossed it over her
shoulder and it landed on Anaktoria face, causing her to
sputter and choke. As Sappho, put the mug back on the bar
casually, Gabrielle moved to her knees to be at Anaktoria
you okay?” the bard asked in concern as she gave the woman her
cloak to wipe her face.
took the offered garment with a sense of amazement that was
growing into a grin.
be fiiiiiiine,” Sappho said in a sing-song voice. “She
freaks and faints. It’s an ‘Ana’ thing.” She looked
down at Ana again. “So when you look at Xena please don’t
faint again, okay?” she told her lover.
gave Sappho an annoyed look and focused on Ana again.
let me help you up,” she said as she took the taller woman
by the elbow.
don’t seem shocked by this look-alike business at all,”
Ana said as she moved to her feet again.
this happens more often than you might think,” Gabrielle
laugh is even the same as hers. You-you have a sweet laugh,”
Ana complimented timidly with a slight stammer.
bard could see the other woman was nervous and even a bit
she said gently, “…let’s start over.” She extended her
hand. “I’m Gabrielle.”
she said with a shy smile as she lightly shook the appendage.
“Nice to meet you, Gabrielle.”
looked between Ana and Gabrielle. At first, the expression
seemed like one of wariness. At least, it did to Xena. But
almost as soon as the cagey expression showed itself, Sappho
seemed to push it down and started to smile.
two seem to be hitting it off, which gives me an idea,” she
said with a sexy leer. “All of us could put our room keys
into a hat and then, one-by-one…”
Gabrielle said flatly once more.
then the four of us could get together and-.”
come on, think about it,” Sappho whined. “The
possibilities here are endless!”
one seemed to be buying the idea and the poetess’ shoulders
slumped in defeat. She glanced down and saw Gabrielle’s
cloak on the floor. She quickly reached down to pick it up and
a dagger whizzed pasted them and stuck in the wall behind the
bar, narrowly missing her.
and Gabrielle watched as a cloaked figure began to push their
way through the crowd. They both jumped into action and Xena
yelled to Aphrodite.
them out of here!”
nodded and instantly zapped them, making Sappho and Ana
disappear from the room with her.
and Gabrielle watched the assassin make his way toward a
closed door. The duo jumped on top of a few tables and began
leap frog over the human traffic in a quest to make up for the
killer’s head start.
watched him darted to the supply room door. Several moments
later, they pushed their way through. When they entered, they
found the place was stocked with barrels of mead and boxes of
various stored items. It was poorly lit and so cramped that
the aisles fit only one person walking sideways. The barrels
were so high there was less than six feet of space in the high
in perfect tandem, they both stopped, neither saying a word
nor moving a single step. They looked at their surroundings
and simply listened. A few seconds later, they heard a shuffle
to their right and nodded to one another.
hooked her fingers and Gabrielle instantly put her foot
inside. Xena hoisted her above the barrels and boxes while she
herself took to making her way through the throng of crates.
Gabrielle spotted the culprit from above in her hunched
position. She worked her way over the barrels as quickly as
she could, while trying not to hit her head on the ceiling
beams. Xena, for her part turned the small corner only to hit
a dead end.
of a bacchae!” she swore, and went back in the direction she
originally came. For her part, Gabrielle seemed to be making
better time than Xena since she was away from all the
figure was almost to the other door. Not about to let him get
away, Gabrielle dove from the top and tackled him, thwarting
his escape. They both tumbled to the ground, along with a
couple of meads barrel – one of which opened and began
to squirt, soaking them both.
and alcohol-covered, the man tried to wrestle free, but
Gabrielle dove on his back. She hooked her forearms around his
shoulders and rolled him over. His back was against her torso,
completely immobile. With his neck exposed, Xena arrived
seconds later. She readied her index and middle fingers when
she watched Gabrielle send two quick jabs to his throat
released him and pushed him aside so she could squirm out from
just cut off your flow of blood to your brain and you’ve got
30 seconds to live,” Xena warned him. “I’ll release you
if you tell me why you’re trying to kill Sappho.”
man continued to choke, but said nothing.
you didn’t hear me,” Xena replied. “Time’s a-wastin’,
the man said nothing. He stayed on the mead soaked floor,
gasping for breath.
and Gabrielle looked at each other incredulously.
buddy,” Gabrielle told him. “You’re going to die.”
he croaked. “Finish the job,” he said as he struggled for
Xena made the decision and she took off the pinch.
are you?!” she asked him.
coughed for a moment, but, in between, he said, “Go to
Xena reared back and punched the man, knocking him out cold.
have gotten smarter in the last 3 decades." Xena released
a heavy sigh. She closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of
her nose as if she had a headache. "I need a drink,”
turned around and cupped her hands. She let some of the
leaking mead shoot into her hands and then raised it to
a swig, Xena nodded in approval.
damn good mead, actually. Not like the swill they serve in the
Athens for ya. Tons of smelly people, but tastier food,” she
noted. She then nodded toward the passed out man. “What are
we going to do with him?”
an arm,” Xena grumbled as she took the arm furthest from the
looked at the barrel and the man. She was getting sprayed
again. “Thanks for getting me all wet, Xena.”
You’re already wet! I, on the other hand-,” she started to
took the killer’s discarded mead-soaked cloak and flung it
at Xena with a laugh. The warrior pulled the wet garment off
her face and head, which was now soaked with
mead too, only to find Gabrielle next to her.
love to get you wet,” Gabrielle hissed in a seductive tone as
she curled her arms around Xena's left arm like a coiling
snake. She strategically placed the length of Xena's arm along
her torso, in particular between the valley of her breasts.
Xena looked down at their physical proximity and slowly began
to grin. “I’m practicing my ‘Sappho’,” Gabrielle
explained in her normal voice. “How was that?”
little too lurid; not enough euphemism, but a great first
effort,” Xena complimented.
think?" Gabrielle asked as Xena just nodded. "We’ll
have to practice tonight,” she added as she released Xena.
She stepped back and grabbed the other man’s arm.
do have to say though,” Xena began as they started to drag
the man from the room. “Sappho might be good at jumping on
tables, but she couldn’t have pulled off your dive.”
Gabrielle said proudly.
the pinch after the dive? Wow!”
liked that, huh?”
again!” Gabrielle basked in the compliment.
both laughed as they pulled their ‘cargo’ from the room.
an hour later,
Gabrielle and Xena watched as the inn's handmaiden brought in
another steaming bucket of water to the tub in their room.
there anything else you desire?” the woman asked.
thank you. We’re good,” Gabrielle replied, still standing
in her soaked clothes.
young woman nodded and left with the empty bucket. Gabrielle
then locked the door behind her. She turned and grinned at
Xena, who had just finished unbuckling her breastplate,
unaware she was being watched. With a smile, Gabrielle ran
toward Xena and began to slide on her knees. She came to a
stop directly in front of Xena, her face inches away from the
apex of Xena’s legs. She grabbed the back of the warrior’s
thighs and began to sing.
the oooone, the ooooooooooooonly one; built like an
laughed and then leered down. “Not bad at all.”
a flash of light diverted their attention and they turned to
see Aphrodite transformed in their room with a growing smile
of her own.
you two are busy. I’ll come back.” She went to snap her
they both told her. Xena added in explanation, “She’s just
practicing her Sappho.”
snorted and motioned to Gabrielle, who was still on her knees,
holding Xena’s legs.
her Sappho? Is that a new expression the kids
are using for whatever this is?” she teased as she shook her
finger between the two of them.
the goddess sighed, annoyed by the warrior's lack of
playfulness. "I just came to tell you… that guy you
threw in the local clink who tried to turn my Saffy-Poo into a
about him?” Xena asked nervously.
dead,” Aphrodite said casually.
They both exclaimed.
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