Subtext Reports
Those crazy posts about the episodes originally posted to the nutforum and saved here for posterity in their error riddled entirety (since they were written 'on the fly'). 
Homecoming Series
A series of five (not so short) stories about Xena and Gabrielle building their life together as a couple. 
Magic Series
Janice Covington and Melinda Pappas find love as they uncover more writings of Gabrielle about her warrior princess. 
Conversations by Campfire Series
Set during Season Four, parts of the episodes are worked into chats between Xena and Gab, particularly the subject of Najara and the bard. 
Changes of Heart Series
My take on what happened after Gabby got Chakram'ed upside the head by Xena in the Season Five ender. 
Bonding of Souls Series
This series picks up where 'Changes of Heart' ends with Xena and Gabby back together. Each 'episode' is an expansion of the episodes of Season Six.
Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Peace
How DID Ares get stuck in that tomb from the Xena Scrolls? This story answers that question. 
The Play
Xena and Gabrielle have to play the leads in a performance for a ruthless king to save Salmoneus' neck. Unexpected consequences and confessions are the result. 
The Queen, the Regent, the Warrior
Xena leaves Gabrielle in the care of the amazons, only to have Ephiny and Gabby fall in love. Xena does return and chaos and secret confessions follow.
The Contest
Ares and Aphrodite battle over Xena's spirit. 
Loss of Virginity
Romantic musings from one of our gals. 
Moment of Truth
Gabrielle does anything it takes to keep Xena out of a battle that's foretold to take the warrior princess' life. 
Thank the Gods For Henbane
At an Amazon festival Gabrielle has one too many henbane brownies, which results in a funny and sexy night for Xena. 
As It Should Be
The Queen gets taken by the Warrior Princess at the Amazon Village.
Family Ties
Xena takes Gabrielle back to home to spend a little time with the 'in-laws'. 
Dueling Cousins
Xena's look-alike cousin, Sappho, has always been competitive but now the Tenth Muse wants the ultimate prize - Gabrielle. 
The End
Alternate 'demise' of Xena and Gabrielle based on the Season Four crucifixion. 
Truth or Dare
Sexy romp between Callisto and Gabrielle set during 'A Necessary Evil' 
November 29th, 1942
A little romance fic between Janice and Mel. 
Inside Outside
Set after the events of 'A Family Affair', it's a scene told through the eyes of four people - Gabrielle's Father, Mother, Gabrielle herself and Xena.
Something To Talk About
Xena and Gabrielle's friends are all surprised that the pair aren't lovers so they consider why not.
Henbane, Horsenappings and Other Obstacles
A 'murphy's law' comedy where everything that can go wrong for Xena and Gabby but, of course, they still end up saving the day.
All That Matters
During Gabrielle's birthday party in' Takes One To Know One', Xena reflects on her love for the bard.  
Warlord
What if Gabrielle was actually the one behind all the folks who influenced Xena's journey toward good? 
Have Yourself a Merry Little Solstice
A little Winter Solstice tale that's available in general (not lovers) and alternative (lovers). .
Little Moments: A Day in the Desert
A tale told through the eyes of Janice and then Mel while on a dig.  
Candy or Chaos
'Classic Xena' general Halloween story with Xena and Gabby return for the Potiedaia Harvest Festival.
Conquering Heroine
Gabrielle is the Conqueror in this piece. How exactly? Give it a read and find out. 
Watching and Waiting
Set after FIN II, Xena watches from afar as Gabrielle moves on with her life. 
1971
Police Office Carol and Protestor Erin clash but find they're fighting for the same things. A short story based on my novel, 'One Belief Away'. 

Title: Changes of Heart Pt. 2

Author: CN Winters

Fandom: Xena Fanfiction, Xena fanfic, Xena fan fiction, Xena and Gabrielle fanfiction, Xena fiction

Rating: PG to NC-17

Disclaimers: These characters aren’t mine. They belong to Mr. Tapert and Co. I’m just borrowing them to vent. It’s not a happy tale and it involves two women who once loved each other deeply. If either of these facts disturb you don’t read this tale. Also it contains spoilers for the last few eps of season five.

Author Note: Like most Xena Gab shippers season five was a joke and the ender, with Xena hitting Gabby in the head with her chakram was the straw that broke the camel's back. I wrote this series in response to my anger and the total character assignation of season five. Enjoy!

Synopsis: Gabrielle is traveling alone after 'Motherhood' (Season Five) when she finds a young admirer, while Xena and Eve continue to travel, searching for an old friend, Hercules.  

Feedback: Drop me a line at cnwinters71@yahoo.com.

Changes of Heart Part II

ASTONISHMENT

It’s a gloriously sunny day; not that one could tell by the dim in here.

Gabrielle sat at the bar in the dark tavern, her back to the barkeep and her eyes watching the patrons around her. Perhaps it’s an unwritten rule in every drinking establishment that they have poor lighting and even poorer clientele. She was on the verge of taking a sip of her ale when she noticed a woman approaching her on the left with a crooked grin. She looked like a walking tree, as tall as Xena, but not nearly as beautiful. A small scar ran down the right side of her cheek and her broad shoulders were protected by armor that looked like it hadn’t seen polish in about three years. Oh boy, Gabrielle sighed nervously to herself as the woman got closer and the smile got wider.

"Gotta name?" the woman asked cocking her head waiting for a reply.

"Yep."

A few seconds passed and Gabrielle added no more. Get a clue Adonis wannabe. The woman released a chuckle at Gabrielle’s ‘hard to get’ demeanor. 

"Why don’t I buy you a drink? It will loosen you up, I’m sure," she replied, running her fingertips down the bard's arm.

"No, thanks," Gabrielle said finally making eye contact. "I have one already. See?" the bard replied, showing her mug of ale before taking another sip.

Gabrielle didn’t notice, but a cloaked woman at the far end of the bar was taking the scene in with a great bit of interest, however she said nothing.

The admirer was starting to lose her patience, however, and her finger trail became a firm grasp on the bard’s arm.

"Don’t go acting like you’re too good for me missy or I’ll show you just how well suited I am for you." The woman tried to nuzzle against Gabrielle’s ear, but the bard reared her head back and hit her admirer square in the forehead, knocking the intruder a good four feet back.

"I don’t want any trouble," Gabrielle announced. Damn it my head hurts. How in the hell does Xena do it so easy? Right. She’s hard headed. Shake it off. Shake it off. "I’m not looking for a one night stand or happily ever after. I’m looking for... me. Thank you for the offer, but I'll repeat, I’m not interested."

The woman cracked her neck and menaced closer to Gabrielle.

"Well, that’s not good enough," she said getting closer.

Gabrielle held her ground, keeping an eye on the intruder, but also staying aware of her surroundings. Stay focused, Gabrielle. Even breaths. Be bold. The advice of Xena came to her mind. 60 percent of any battle is between the ears, the other is just muscle. Who ever can psyche the other will always be the winner. Gabrielle threw a cocky grin on her face, although at the moment she felt anything but confident. "Do I have to kill you? How about if I just beat the stuffing out of you instead?"

"Ooooo a gambling woman, eh?" the admirer taunted.

Hey, that’s not a bad idea. "Yeah, I’m a gambling woman. What do you say? Do you feel like you’re in a winning mood? I’ve got a proposition for you if you do," Gabrielle offered in a lusty tone, taking a step closer in challenge, teasing her, taunting her.

The admirer grinned. Knew she was just playing hard to get. "What do you have in mind, beautiful?"

"Money," Gabrielle proclaimed with a wide grin. "Winner take all to the warrior left standing. How much do you have on you?"

"20 dinars," the woman answered.

"I can meet that bet," Gabrielle answered confidently. "So pick your weapon and your conditions."

"Oh no," the woman laughed heartily. "I’ll battle you, but it’s not your money I want when I win."

Oh lord. Could she leer and drool any more? How disgusting!...  Okay. Think, Gabrielle. Could you really go through with this if you lost? No, you couldn’t, but that doesn’t mean that you’re going to lose. Sure, she’s big, but you knocked her back with one headbutt. She obviously doesn’t have your speed either. The bard’s grin widened.

"Okay," she replied confidently. "I’ll take that bet. 20 dinars vs. my... ahem... virtue," she teased with a wink. "Show me the money and we’ll get it underway," Gabrielle instructed.

"I got it," the woman said defensively.

"Okay," Gabrielle said staying as cool as the Ganges. "Show it to me then."

"Well, it’s upstairs," the woman grunted, motion her head toward the rooms upstairs.

"It’s upstairs? I thought you said you had it?" Gabrielle toyed. All part of the game. All part of the game. "Anyway, doesn’t matter where it’s at right now. Later it will be in my hands. Still I’ll wait for you to get it," Gabrielle counted with a grin. "Unless of course you’re not a warrior of your word," she added in challenge.

That put the woman in motion. She stomped up the stairs and Gabrielle casually went back to her drink as all eyes on the tavern were on her. "Ahh... this is good ale," she told the barkeep in a friendly tone.

The cloaked figure came behind the bard and whispered, "She’s gotta glass jaw. Go for the face."

Gabrielle recognized the voice, but couldn’t quite place it. She tried to turn to see who was giving her instructions, but the clang of change purse next to her got her attention.

"You can count it if you like," the woman said.

"Thanks," Gabrielle answered. "Don’t mind if I do."

Just as the woman said 20 shinny dinars were in the bag. Casually, the bard tossed it back to her. 

"Shall we?" she asked with a grand gesture toward the door.

At this point, the entire tavern had come to a stop – no one was eating, speaking or even moving for that matter. As the intruder made her way out, Gabrielle followed close behind. Before they could clear the door, the tables began to rise spot by spot, following the women outside. THIS they had to see.

They walked outside, toward a weapons hut located adjacent to the tavern. 

"Mind if we try out a few weapons," the woman called over to the shopkeeper.

"No, be my guest," he said hoping to make a sale. He did start to wonder, however, if that was the intention when the bar patrons all followed behind them.

The woman then turned back to Gabrielle. "Since we’re going to be getting to know each other much better after this little duel perhaps we should be on a first name basis. I’m Gailes," she introduced gallantly.

I can play along. "Pleasure to meet your acquaintance... And I’m sure that’s all it will be... an acquaintance... With that aside, let’s get down to business. I made the challenge so you pick the weapons."

The woman could tell this little blonde was a queen at being evasive. After all this trouble, she STILL didn’t have her name. Gailes noticed the sais on Gabrielle’s boots so she opted for a more ‘traditional’ and ‘old school’ weapon, something she was sure the young woman would be unfamiliar with.

"Fighting staffs," she said firmly, taking one in her hand.

Gabrielle gave the largest of grins and went over to collect her weapon. She walked back into the street to meet her challenger, but asked for a small moment to ‘get acquainted’ with the weapon.

"Take your time," Gailes answered, certain she had made the right choice. Her smile crept away more and more with each drill she watched the bard preformed, getting faster and faster as the weapon settled into her hands as if it were an extension of her body.

"By the way," the bard told her, coming to a stop. "My name is Gabrielle of Potiedaia."

"The amazon bard who travels with the warrior princess?" the woman asked, a sudden quake coming to her voice.

Is she starting to sweat? "Yep that’s the one... well, at least I USED to travel with Xena, but I’m on my own now... I must confess, it’s been a few years since I seriously picked up one of these," she said with all the confidence in the world. "But I’m sure I’ll get back into my groove. The staff was one of the first weapons I mastered incidentally... Good choice," she mocked. Gabrielle watched the woman give a hard swallow, but say nothing. "Anytime you’re ready," she told Gailes.

Gailes took a deep breath to steady herself before taking an uncertain step toward Gabrielle. That’s all the bard needed. She opened up with a yell deep from her diaphragm and rushed Gailes with blow after blow. Gailes tried for a sweep, but Gabrielle on pure instinct jumped and avoided it. She chuckled loudly. "Not bad, but you did it wrong," the bard teased.

Without adding more Gabrielle made two strikes and one sweep that promptly took Gailes on her backside. Gabrielle moved to give her a chance to stand and grinned down at her. 

"That’s the proper way to sweep," the bard remarked egotistically.

The folks who gathered to watch the battle began to chuckle, especially the cloaked figure. Gailes confident facade began to unravel, but instead of backing down, just the opposite occurred. She got angry. And when she got angrier she was unable to even strike Gabrielle, let alone do any damage. She got sloppy. At one point, Gabrielle tried the turn and pivot move the amazons had shown her years before, but as times past she nearly knocked herself in the head. Enough of getting fancy bard. Take her down. And with that, Gabrielle saw her opening and took it.

With Gailes trying to regain control of the staff, Gabrielle let loose and whacked her clean across the face. The warrior dropped the staff and wobbled back on her heels. A second later she fell backward, the force so great that the impact lifted the warrior’s legs off the ground before they came crashing back to the dusty main street. She was out cold.

A cheer went around the crowd and the spectators began to throw their own dinars at Gabrielle’s feet.

What?! Why are you-?! "What’s going on?" she asked taking one of the on-lookers by the sleeve.

"We’ve waiting years to see someone put Gailes in her place," a man chuckled. "Congratulates sweetie. You’re one helluva fighter," he chuckled. "Here," he added putting five dinars in her hand. "This is well worth it."

Group by group, the villagers made their way back to the tavern. Since a bet was a bet Gabrielle snatched Gailes change purse that was on her waist and filled the bag with the rest of the dinars she’d earned from the townspeople. After she was finished she looked back at the unconscious woman. Gabrielle took 10 dinars from her pouch and closed them in the woman’s hand.

"You might need an ale later to nurse that jaw," Gabrielle teased, although the woman couldn’t hear a word. The bard wasn’t about to leave her ‘penniless’. She’d put up a good fight.

Gabrielle picked up the staff and gave it a few light tosses feeling the weight. The shopkeeper looked at her and grinned. Gabrielle returned the gesture and asked, "How much?"

He smiled. "For you... five dinars."

"Sold," the bard answered and handed over the coins. That’s when Gabrielle noticed the reflection of the cloaked figure behind her in a shield that hung outside. Before the informant could move away Gabrielle went over to her.

"Your turn and pivot is off," the unknown figure told her.

Who are you? "Yeah," Gabrielle said slowly, trying to find out who the figure was behind the cloak, not quiet able to see. That voice - I know that voice. "Seems the problem lies with my-."

"Footing," the two said in harmony.

The cloak hood came down to reveal a woman with salt and pepper hair, perhaps in her early 50’s, maybe late 40’s. "After all these years, I figured you’d have mastered that by now. But I can see you still nearly chuck yourself in the head," she laughed.

"It can’t be... Is it really you?"

"Yes, Gabrielle it’s me... But first things first, what’s your secret? How did you manage to stay so young?"

Sweet Aphrodite, the bard thought as her jaw fell and she gathered the woman into a tight embrace.

EXPLANATIONS

Xena grinned when she spotted Hercules in the distance putting the finishing touches on a stone retaining wall that surrounded a small house. Xena climbed aboard Argo and called down to Eve, "I’m going ahead. See you when you get down there."

She took Argo into a full gallop, kicking dusty behind her on the trail.

Hercules looked up when her heard the hoofs approaching. Is that Xena? No she can’t look that young... Well I’ll be. It is Xena. He gave a smile and chuckled as she approached. He hopped the fence with ease to meet her. Xena reeled Argo in when she was close enough and leapt from the mare, jogging over to see her friend.

They both laughed as they embraced and Herc gave her a playful twirl in the air, gently putting her down.

"Where’s Gabrielle?" He asked with a smile. But soon his smile began to fade realizing that perhaps Gabrielle was no longer on the earthly plain.

"We decided to go our separate ways... well, she decided that, but we’ll discuss that later," Xena gave a nervous chuckle. He looked as old as when he had battled Zeus for Eve’s life and not a day older. "Anyway, you’re looking as young as ever," she commented on his appearance.

"You should talk," he said pulling her arms up and away from her body giving her an appraising eye. "Did you find the Tree of Fietus too?"

Xena smiled. Ah ha. "So you do know where the tree is? Any mortal that eats the fruit is said to become immortal? Looks like it’s true ummm?"

Herc smiled and dug his toe in the dirt a moment. "I didn’t want to do it, but Iolaus convinced me otherwise."

"Damn right I did. The world needs the big guy around," they heard a voice behind them add. Iolaus, it appears didn’t eat the fruit. His hair was thinning and graying. The laughlines around his lips and eyes were more prominent, but he still appeared very dashing with the same mischievous sparkle in his blue eyes. He offered his arm to Xena in greeting. 

"How have you been, Xena? Forgive me for saying it, but the last we heard... you were dead."

"We were in a way I suppose," Xena said before silently cursing herself for using the word ‘we’. We? She’s not here anymore. When are you gonna realize that? "Gabrielle and I, I mean, we... ". Why the hell am I stumbling all over this? Just spit it out already! "Ares froze us accidentally when he thought we died, but we managed to escape and come back. Some... things... happened and she decided to go out on her own."

Xena’s voice cracked and Herc’s eyebrows crunched in examination. 

"Actually I heard part of the story already. My sister told me. Are you okay?"

Sister? Ahh - Dite...  Xena chewed on her lip to push down the tears that threatened to come forth with Herc’s question.

"Yeah, I’m doing okay," she sighed. "It’s been about two months now since she left. I’ve been so busy with dealing with Ares being a mortal and getting to know Eve that I haven’t had much time to really consider things with Gabrielle...  I mean I think of her all the time, but I just haven’t thought about it... Does that make any sense?" she asked exasperated at trying to explain to the men who stood silently watching her.

"Well, do you mean that you miss her? You just haven’t had time to realize that it’s over...for good?"

"Yeah." Xena smiled bitter-sweetly. "Gabrielle was always good with words like that." The smile was only brief as she began to hear Herc’s words sink in deeper... It’s over. For good...  She shook her head to rid herself of the thoughts. The sooner she could get Ares out of her life the better. She pointed up the path to Ares and Eve who were now almost within earshot.

"Anyway, I’ve got ex-god trouble and thought you could lend a hand," she chuckled.

With that Herc, looked up the path and he saw Ares and a young woman walking toward them. 

"Who’s the girl?" Herc asked, nodding toward her.

"That’s our daughter... Eve."

You did it again - using words like ‘our’ as if Gabrielle is standing right here. Xena took an unsteady breath. Come on and get a grip here. Why are you acting so mushy now? Pull it together warrior. Xena wiped her eyes with her fingertips to guard against any tears that might escape. She didn’t think being near Herc would have this kind of effect on her - the overwhelming urge to ‘spill her guts’ as it were. At the moment, she couldn’t even lock eyes with the demi-god for fear of losing what control she had over her tear ducts.

"Ares gave up his godhood to save Eve’s life... and Gabrielle...  I don’t want to make him a god again, but life as a mortal is just too painful for ME with him around," she joked. "And it’s tough for him too I guess. Will you help?... Make him immortal, I mean? Obviously you have the answer to immortality," she teasingly prodded.

Finally, Xena looked up to see the beam on Herc’s face as he watched Eve come down the path. 

"She’s a beautiful girl, Xena."

"Yes, she is," Xena answered. "Does that mean you’ll help us?"

"Help Ares?" Herc chuckled.

Xena simply nodded.

"No," Herc answered. "But I’ll help you. And who knows since he did something unselfish for ONCE in his life... perhaps he could change too... but I’m not holding my breath." The demi-god winked.

"Eve," Xena called out, pulling her closer. "I’d like you to met Hercules and his partner, Iolaus."

"Nice to meet you sounds like an understatement," Eve said offering her forearm.

Herc took her gently by the hand and gave a light kiss to her knuckles instead. "It’s my pleasure." He grinned warmly. He escorted her over to Iolaus who still stood behind the wall where they shook hands.

"Come in everyone," Iolaus instructed. "Yes... even you, Ares," he teased.

Ares rolled his eyes, but joined the group passing through the gate, making their way to the house.

"So this is the kinda pad heroes have when they retire, huh?" Xena said giving the home an appraising eye. "Not bad." She grinned. "Kinda reminds me of Gabrielle’s hut at the amazon village."

"Yeah, but there’s no naked woman running around in the front window," Iolaus teased as they walked inside which earned him a jab from his buddy. "Have a seat. Supper’s almost done," he said pointing to the dinning table.

Xena noticed a limp as Iolaus went to the stew pot. 

"Hurt your leg Iolaus?" Xena asked.

"Nahh, just old war wounds catching up to me. It comes and goes and today it’s flaring up. Come on and grab some spoons and bowls. There should be enough for everyone."

As Xena and Eve went to the kitchen area, Herc and Ares spent the time just looking at each other, neither one willing to lose in the staring contest.

"What?!" Ares finally asked irritated.

"I could kick your fanny allllllll over the place right now," Herc chuckled.

"Well, why don’t you give it a shot tough guy?" Ares taunted.

Xena could hear their voices behind her, beginning to rise. She didn’t even bother to turn around to face them. "Can’t you two give it a rest?" she sighed.

"I take it they don’t get along too well," Eve whispered to Xena.

"Like Greek Fire and water," Iolaus said whispering into the conversation.

"I HEARD that," Herc called into the kitchen.

"Well, it’s not like it’s untrue," Iolaus said bringing a bowl for Herc too as he sat down at the table.

Xena had two bowls and she slid one over to Ares. "Don’t argue. Just eat. That will keep your mouth busy for awhile."

"He started it," Ares rebutted pointing his spoon at his half-brother.

"Well, if Daddy were around you could go back and cry to him. But since he’s not, shut up and eat," Xena warned.

Herc could tell by the snap in her voice that Xena had about all she could take of the former god of war.

"I’m sorry," Herc apologized to the group, hoping it would give Xena a respite he felt she very much needed. "I promise Ares, no more arguing. Agreed?" Herc offered his hand in truce.

Ares pushed Herc’s hand away, along with the bowl. 

"I’ll be outside if you need me," he told Xena.

Herc shrugged his shoulders and settled himself down to eat. "Well, so much for trying," he replied before putting a spoonful of stew in his mouth. Xena and Eve ate in silence until Xena complimented Iolaus on the food, a comment that Eve quickly echoed with a thanks.

"Don’t mention it." He grinned. "It’s just nice to see you again, Xena. We haven’t see our old friends in ages," Iolaus added before turning to Herc. "How long’s it been since we seen Autolycus?" he asked. "At least a year I think."

Herc nodded. "Yeah around last summer."

"You mean the King of Thieves is still around?" Xena smiled warmly. "What’s he doing?"

"Well, he DID about 15 years in prison after getting caught in a diamond mind." Herc grinned. "But he paid his debt to society and decided to take up woodworking."

"Woodworking?" Xena couldn’t hold back the laugh at the thought. "You’re pulling my leg, aren’t you?"

"No," Iolaus said shaking his head. "That sofa over there was a house warming present he made for us when we built this place. He’s really creative and he’s got a knack for that kinda stuff. He’s actually making a better living doing that than stealing."

"Eh, who thought Autolycus had other skills," Xena said checking it out from across the room.

Everyone took a moment to go back to their stew. Autolycus is still alive. I wonder now about mother. And Lila! Lila is probably still alive. Damn it! We should have gone to Potiedaia. Maybe that’s where Gabrielle’s gone too. Maybe we should-.

"You okay?" Herc asked.

Xena realized Herc had been talking to her, but she got so caught up in her mind she didn’t hear him. "I’m sorry." She grinned bashfully. "I didn’t catch that."

"Yeah, you seem pretty distracted. Are you finished eating? Would you like some more?" the demi-god asked.

"Oh no, I’m fine. Thank you both. It was very good," Xena remarked.

"You’re welcome," Herc answered. "Now, let’s go out back. I’ll show you the pond we made. Iolaus... maybe you can show Eve some of those scrolls we’ve got?"

"Do you like scrolls?" Iolaus asked, the young woman.

"Are you kidding?! I love them - especially the one’s my mom wrote- I mean Gabrielle."

"Actually, I have a couple of Gabby’s scrolls." He winked.

"You do?" Eve and Xena both asked in harmony.

"She didn’t say she’d given any away... but then again I never asked," Xena replied guiltily.

The room fell quiet, not sure of what to add at the moment. The tone of ‘regret’ hung in the air a few more seconds until Herc spoke up. 

"Well, we’ll be back later. Come on, Xena," Herc said wrapping his arm around Xena’s shoulder and leading her out the back door.

"So are you ready to tell me what happened?" Herc asked.

"About what?" Xena said evasively. Herc didn’t reply. He just gave her a ‘look’ that spoke volumes. No getting around it with him. "I’m not sure. I mean I know why I just... Oh, damn it." Xena broke down into sobs.

She wasn’t sure how long it lasted, but when she calmed her breathing enough to speak again she noticed that Herc’s shirt was slightly wet.

"I’m sorry. I don’t know why I did that," Xena chuckled nervous.

"Because you’re sad... you’re confused... and if I know you, you haven’t taken time to grieve yet. You’ve been babysitting Ares because of some unspoken debt you feel you owe him for saving your family and as a result... you’ve avoided dealing with your breakup with Gabrielle."

Xena gave a genuine chuckle of amusement for the first time since her arrival. "You’re good." She smiled. "I guess that’s exactly what’s going on."

Herc took Xena by the hand as they walked toward the water’s edge. They stood there for a moment and just looked out at the water and the small rippling when a fish would jump now and then. "Are you going to look for her?" he asked quietly. "Or have you given up on getting her back?"

Xena sighed and consider the question. Yes. No. Maybe. 

"I haven’t decided," she answered. "I figured that if she wants to see me then she’ll come to me."

"What if she’s thinking the same thing?" Herc asked. "What if she’s waiting for you? Someone has to make the first step. You said it’s been what? Two months?"

"Yeah."

"Are you ready to see her?"

"I’m not sure," Xena answered honestly. "I took Gabrielle for granted in many ways, but... "

"But what?" Herc asked sincerely.

"But she let me down too... No... she spent some time examining who she was and I didn’t see us having a future. She always did though... I was scared of her... and me."

"Scared? Of what?"

"Of losing her, of loving her... I mean she was on a path of non-violence. With our life it’s not the safest path to be on and I worried that I might not be able to help her. And then later... when she realized that the warrior life was what she was truly destined for instead of supporting that I... I got scared again. My brother was a warrior and I lost him. Then a time came and I lost myself. I was worried that Gabrielle might die. I was worried that I might lose her to the darkness of war someday - just like my soul had been lost... I didn’t say anything though. I just... shut her out.

She’d make comments about how much she loved Eve and how we could build a future together and instead of loving her like I should have... like I wanted to... I turned away because I was scared to get TOO close. I could give this woman my sword and my body... but I couldn’t give her my heart. And when I reacted and struck her with my chakram... that was it for her. She’d had enough and left... and the sad part is I don’t blame her. And the really sad part is what I feared most...  losing her... came true in the end anyway."

Herc was speechless. He’d never heard Xena be so ‘wordy’; so open. He wondered if Gabrielle had heard all these thoughts Xena just expressed to him.

"But that’s my story." She grinned for show. "If I could take it all back I would. If I could show her how much I love her and trust her I would. But it doesn’t look like that’s meant to be. I’m sure she’ll move on. She’ll fall in love. She’ll find someone who sees how wonderful and special she is...  that person could have been me if I hadn’t been so proud or so cowardly... perhaps both."

She’s gone. She’s really gone now.

Xena started to cry hysterically at that point. She never took the time since Gabrielle left that night on the beach to really cry. Her time was spent training Ares on being human or telling the ‘happy’ stories about Gabrielle to Eve. It kept the darkness of it all at bay. But now. Now that she had time to think about it. Emotions she didn’t have time for before hit her full force - the devastating feeling of loss and dread and on a certain level anger.

How could she just leave? After five years just walk away.

Xena pulled away from Herc’s embrace and she found herself starting to pace. Okay. Enough is enough. Quit feeling sorry for yourself Xena... I’m gonna find that damn tree. I’m gonna lay out all the cards for Eve about Gabrielle and I from now on, even the ugly ones. Then with Ares out of my hair and Eve knowing the whole truth... 

Xena wiped her eyes and looked at Herc. "I need your help," she told him.

"You got it Xena. You know that. What do you want?" he asked noticing a shift in her mood to one of gloom to one of determination.

"I’m gonna find that tree. Will you help?" she asked him.

"Consider me there," he smiled.

"Good." She grinned confidently. "Because after that... I’m gonna find my bard."

SIDEKICKS

"Gabrielle! Behind you!!"

Without looking back, the amazon queen raised her staff behind her head blocking the sword strikes of the two men that worked their way behind her. With cat like reflexes, she spun around taking one man out with a quick strike and then the other. As both men lay scattered across the ground, unmoving, she was finally able to rejoin her partner.

"Good work." Gabrielle smiled. "Come on," she said as she motioned her traveling partner toward a young woman who was curled up on the ground, timidly watching the action.

"Are you okay?" the bard asked.

"Yes... thanks to you," the young woman answered. She finally had the chance to look up and when she did she found herself getting lost in the green eyes that shined down upon her. 

Great Aphrodite, she’s beautiful.

"No thanks needed," Gabrielle replied with a comforting grin. "Did you know these men?" she asked pointing behind her to the four men that lay unconscious on the ground.

"No, they’re not from my village. I’ve never seen them before," the young lady replied. Aside from a little dirt and some scraps the lady was quite beautiful – dark, flowing brown hair and eyes to match. "I was doing the laundry and they came out of nowhere."

Gabrielle dusted the woman off a bit and stood up offering her arm.

"Well, let’s get you home. Where’s your washings?" the bard asked.

"Over there," she pointed meekly, still a bit shaken by the events of the day.

"Could you-."

"I’m all over it," Gabrielle’s new partner replied, before starting toward the bank to get the woman’s belongings. "I’ll tie the men up and catch up in a bit."

Gabrielle gave a nod and turned back to the young woman. 

"Let’s get you back to the village and notify the sheriff," Gabrielle said starting to walk down the path.

The young woman couldn’t take her eyes off the bard and she tripped on a rock in the road. Gabrielle helped her catch her balance and couldn’t help notice the sense of awe transpiring in the young woman’s eyes. There was a time when you were in awe yourself Gabrielle so tread lightly here, she warned herself.

"Are you sure you’re okay?" Gabrielle asked.

Don’t blush now. She’ll think you’re just some stupid kid, the young woman berated herself silently. "Yes I’m fine. I guess I just never saw a real amazon before... I mean you are an amazon, aren’t you?"

Gabrielle grinned. "Last time I checked yes I was still an amazon," she teased. "My name is Gabrielle."

"Gabrielle, the amazon bard?! Is that Xena?!" the young woman asked excitedly, looking back over her shoulder to the woman just putting the finishing knots on the attackers.

"Yes, I’m the amazons' bard." I guess my reputation DOES proceeds me at this point. "And no that’s not Xena. That’s Eponin – she’s an old friend of mine that’s been traveling with me for the past moon now."

"Oh... " Come on! Come on! Think of something witty or clever. You’re a poet for gaia’s sake. It was obvious the young woman didn’t know what to add so Gabrielle picked up the conversation.

"And what’s your name?"

"I’m August," she answered. Yeah, that will really wow her. "I’m a writer too. Not stories. Just poetry. My folks think it’s a silly waste of time, but someday I’m going to be famous - like you!"

"I’m not famous," Gabrielle chuckled.

"Are you kidding?" the girl said excitedly, the pace of her speech quickening. "Every traveling bard that comes through our town has at least one story of the Warrior Princess and the Amazon Bard. I know lots of the tales about your journeys. Would you like to hear one?! How about Cecrops? Or Baccus? I could tell you one if you like. I said I write poetry, but I know I could do a good story too if you want."

Oh boy. Did I sound this over anxious when Xena road into town? Yep. You probably did. No wonder Xena was always so quiet. I did all the talking, Gabrielle chuckled out loud and the girl gave her an inquisitive look. Gabrielle shook her head to clear her mind of the memory and to let the girl know it wasn’t her jabber jaw that was making her grin. "No, that’s okay," Gabrielle told her. "I’m sure you’re a great storyteller. Let’s just get you back home safe, okay?"

The rest of the way Gabrielle learned practically everything about the young girl’s life. She was non-stop and very open about everything. The more Gabrielle listened, the more it sounded like an echo of years ago. But soon they were at the girl's home where she was met by her parents and her brother.

"Please stay for the evening at least," her mother insisted. "A hot meal and a warm bed are the least we can offer you for saving August."

Eponin and Gabrielle looked at each other and nodded in agreement to each other before taking the offer. Later that night, after dinner, August’s father offered to give Gabrielle one of their horses, but Gabrielle solidly refused. Dinner and shelter for the evening was more than generous enough. August’s father relented, but made the bard promise if she ever needed anything that their door was always open. That was an offer Gabrielle could accept in good faith.

As Eponin and Gabrielle walked around the village after supper they noticed August trying to follow close behind, but also trying to be inconspicuous. Eponin couldn’t help, but take note of the smile that played on the bard's lips.

"You seem awfully happy this evening."

Gabrielle looked around the town and then back to Eponin. "This little place reminds me of my hometown. It’s funny. When I was August’s age I could wait to leave it, but looking back now... it was a peaceful place. Quiet. Sometimes I miss it."

"Looking to settle down my queen," Eponin teased.

"Far from it," Gabrielle chuckled. "Poteidaia is a nice place to visit, but I don’t think I could ever live there again. Kinda like you and the amazon village. You miss it... but then again you don’t. Do you understand?"

Eponin considered the question. "Yeah... but I left because of love," Eponin countered. "After Ephiny and I broke up... I couldn’t sit by and let Solari build the life I hoped to share with Ephiny. It was too hard... I left because of love."

"I left Poteidaia because of love too." Gabrielle smiled. "Although the circumstances were different... the end result seems to be the same though, huh? Abandonment." I traveled the world with Xena and came full circle and what do I have to show -- numerous notches of kills on my swords and once more, a staff in my hand.

Eponin noticed Gabrielle’s mind at work and she could tell it wasn’t anything good. Gods how I wish I could make that ache go away that’s in her eyes, her soul. 

"At least we’re not alone," Eponin countered optimistically.

"I get the feeling in this village we’ll never be alone," Gabrielle teased pitching a thumb over her shoulder toward their ‘shadow’ who quickly turned to act like she was looking at some scarfs.

"You know what I meant," Eponin pushed. "We’ve got each other now. It’s been a long time since I had anyone I could relate too. I make a pretty good sidekick even though I’m almost 50 summers old."

"Partner," Gabrielle corrected. "I’ll never have a sidekick... ever."

Eponin gave an agreeable nod and let the conversation be. So what did the hero do to you Gabrielle? What’s happened that the word ‘sidekick’ brings such pain to your eyes? Gabrielle had opened up and told her of some of the facts that drove sidekick and hero apart. She was sure there were many more tales to be told and she was confident that in time Gabrielle would confide them to her.

Weeks before she was delighted that Gabrielle had recognized her. It HAD been a long time since she had a real friend to relate to. The years she spent away from the amazon village consisted mostly of traveling from place to place doing odd jobs here and there. Then suddenly she was there... And as gorgeous as ever. Eponin felt herself admiring her traveling partner a little too close and looked for another distractions. She soon found it when she turned around to see August move a few stalls closer.

"What are you going to do about her?" Eponin teased, nodding toward the young woman. "She’s been bitten by the love bug you know." She smirked.

Gabrielle chuckled. "Believe it or not, I remember what that’s like... hero worship I mean. I had Xena so high on a pedestal you’d never think she could fall," Gabrielle answered with a grin. "It seems like another lifetime some days."

"You gonna set her straight?" Eponin asked.

"What’s to set straight? Nothing wrong with admiration," Gabrielle countered.

That’s good to know for future reference. "That’s true," Eponin answered out loud. "But still... "

Gabrielle put down the bottle of wine she was looking at and faced Eponin. 

"I gotta tell her, huh?"

Eponin shrugged her shoulders. "It’s your call... your admirer," she teased.

"Thanks," Gabrielle answered sarcastically before giving a sigh. "Why don’t you head back to the barn for the night while I have a sensitive chat, okay?"

Eponin gave a hearty chuckle. "Sensitive chat?" She grinned. "I like the sound of that... Okay, I’ll catch you later... PARTNER."

Gabrielle saw her young admirer taking a sudden interest in some horseshoes when the duo had turned around. 

"August!" she yelled over toward her. When the girl looked up Gabrielle waved her over.

"Did you need something, Gabrielle?" the girl asked excitedly, nearly tripping over herself willing to help as she passed Epinon.

Gabrielle did her best to hold back a smile. "You’ve been following me around for some time now. Is there something you want to ask me? Something you need from me?"

You bet there is, the young woman thought lecherously. "You’ve done so much I really couldn’t ask for more," she replied instead.

"Care to tell me why you’re following me around?" Gabrielle asked without malice. The bard saw August’s cheek grow crimson and her suspicious were confirmed. "Look, August," Gabrielle began, "You’re a very beautiful young girl and we have a lot in common. I can see you admire me-."

"You really think I’m beautiful?!" the village girl replied hopeful.

Oh no, now you’ve done it. "Yes August, but let me explain. You’ve got a family and life here and come sunrise I’ll be leaving and-."

"Then take me with you! I can cook for you and clean for you. I sharpen my father’s sword all the time so I can even do that. Please say you will. I’m not meant for this town, Gabrielle. I’m not the little girl my parents wanted me to be. I’m meant for bigger and better things."

What?! Oh great. I should have let Eponin do this. "I can’t," Gabrielle replied. Why can’t you? Xena did. Oh shut up you don’t know what you’re talking about. You’re not up to babysitting a starry eyed kid. You could do it you know. You could be a mentor to her...  Just great. I’m arguing with myself and losing. I think my mind IS going. "August," Gabrielle said holding her temples trying to regroup. "You don’t understand what you’re asking."

"Yes I do. I want to be a poet. I want to go to Athens. I can’t be a poet here. If I want to be someone - ANYONE - who leaves a mark it won’t be in this little town. I mean look at you! You did it, didn’t you?! I could do it too if the right opportunity comes along and like it or not YOU’RE that opportunity... So I’m begging... Please... Take me with you. You can’t leave me here in-."

"Potiedaia," Gabrielle mustered with a far off look in her eyes completing the girl’s sentence.

"No. Geddeus... Potiedaia is at least 10 towns away," August answered somewhat confused.

"Huh?" Gabrielle asked reflexively before coming back to the present conversation, pushing the one from years back further into her memory. "Anyway, August, the answer has to be no. I’m sorry."

Gabrielle started to walk away, but she heard August’s voice behind her. that stopped her in her tracks.

"Haven’t you ever dreamed?"

That stopped Gabrielle from taking another step away.

Dreams. Yes I did have dreams and despite the pain, the suffering most of my dreams came true... except for ‘happily ever after’... and the reason they did was because of Xena. She believed in me when no one else did. I was never the proper young lady and if I had stayed in that little town I would have been dead years before... perhaps not physically, but spiritually. You gotta do it. You gotta say yes.

"Okay," Gabrielle sighed before turning to face the girl. "But you have to tell your parents you’re leaving. No sneaking out. Understood? I made some mistakes when I left home and I don’t want to see you repeat them. Got it?"

August stood slack jawed, but quickly recovered. "I got it! No problem. We’ll go right now and I’ll let them know that I’m going to Athens with you! This is so great! I can’t believe it! Maybe while we’re on the road you can give me some bard tips and we could-."

"Your parents have yet to agree," Gabrielle pointed out. "If they say no, then I say no."

"Of course, of course. But I doubt they would say no. If I leave then father doesn’t have to pay the dowery for me to marry Erereous - he’s a nice guy, but very dull and boring... Hey! You know what?! Maybe at night I can read my poems to you? Would you like that? I’ve got one that I’ve been working on for the last month!"

Ohhhh boy was all Gabrielle’s mind could repeat.

CONFESSIONS

"Mother? Are you crying?"

She had been crying, but Xena didn’t turn around to face Eve who was whispering from her bedroll. "I’m okay. Just get some sleep. We’ve got a big climb tomorrow. You’ll need your strength."

Within moments, Xena felt her daughter’s hand upon her shoulder as the young woman took a seat next to her on the boulder looking out over the valley they traveled through earlier that day. The Tree of Fietus, which only bared the special fruit once every ten years, would be in bloom this season. Many people tried to attain it and met their demise in the process. If the mountain didn’t kill them the wild animals of the area did. The odds were against them, but what else was new.

"It’s a beautiful view from up here," Eve commented. "But I don’t think it’s the majestic scenery that has you so teary eyed."

Xena smiled. "No, I can’t say I’ve been one who’s moved by nature."

"Then what does move you?"

"Gabrielle."

There was no pause between question and answer. Xena knew it immediately, instinctively. Xena loved her daughter dearly, but nothing, absolutely nothing compared to Gabrielle. It’s true I CAN live without Gabrielle, but it’s not a life worth living at this point.

"She’s got a wonderful way of looking at life," Xena offered. "She sees beauty and meaning in everything - even a broken down ex-warlord. I always loved your mom, but lately, with her gone, I realize just how much. I can see that I took her for granted in many ways. And I pray that Eli finds someway from the heavens to bring her back to me. Even if I never have her as my partner again, I just wish I have the chance to tell her how much she means and how much she changed my life for the better."

"After we get Ares out of the way, we’ll search," Eve responded. "We’ll find her again, I’m sure."

"I’m not sure if she wants to be found, Evie. That’s the problem. I did so many terrible things to her over the years. I let my anger do things I swore I’d never do. I blamed her for Solan’s death. I asked her to choose me over Hope. I shut her out at times when she needed reassurance and all because I was scared. I even hit her with my chakram while her back was turned. Some brave warrior that makes me, huh? I don’t blame her one bit for leaving. In fact, I’m surprised she stayed as long as she did."

"Mother," Eve began, "You said yourself that Gabrielle doesn’t blame you for those things and she’s found forgiveness."

"She’s forgiven me, yes, but I haven’t forgiven myself. I’m not sure I’ll ever find that. Eve, I told you that I was a terrible person for many years, but the worst things I’ve ever done have been to Gabrielle... I know now that I will never... ever... harm her again. But I don’t even know how to convince her. Hell, I don’t even know if she’s okay. I’m on top of a mountain, helping a man I can’t stand to be around when I should be at her side."

"You will be at her side again, Mother," Eve answered. "I have no doubt in that. Just be brave when you see her. Tell her all the things you never told her while she was here. That’s the first step... well, after ditching Ares that is," she whispered conspiratorially. "You can’t really expect to work on things with Gabrielle as long as Ares’s in the background. You’re doing things the right way. Get Ares out on his own so you can focus on Gabrielle... I have faith that things will work out."

"Always the optimist." Xena grinned. "Your mom’s that way too with many things."

Xena looked over to Eve and she watched as the young woman sat cross-legged, her elbow on her knee and her chin on her fist, deep in thought, looking at the valley below them. I haven’t realized it, but Gabrielle does the same thing when she’s pondering something.

"What is it?" Eve asked facing her mother after feeling she was being scrutinized.

And those eyes! My god those green eyes! I have blue. Callisto had brown. The green of those eyes. Could it be? Is it really possible? But how?

"Mother, tell me what’s wrong?!"

Xena held a finger up for Eve to hold on for a moment. She darted over to Ares bedroll and tore the blanket away. He woke with a start as Xena grabbed him by his leather vest.

"Hey! What the-."

"I want answers and I want them now," Xena began, giving him a shake for good measure.

"Well, good morning to you too, Sweetheart," Ares retorted.

At this time, Herc woke up with all the commotion. "Everything, okay?"

"Yeah, as soon as Ares answers a few questions. Such as who's Eve’s mother?" Xena said pushing him back to the ground.

"You are," Ares answered. "Is this is a trick question?"

"Who else?" she pressed.

"Callisto. At least that's what I’ve heard," he replied.

"Okay... Now who else? Come on Ares. I’ve been watching Eve for weeks now and the more and more I see, the more there’s someone else that’s not being figured in here. Tell it to me straight. What’s the real story here? Why were you trying to talk Gabrielle out of leaving Eve and me? You of all people would love to see her go... so why the change of heart? Hmm?"

Ares looked to Xena and then Eve standing behind her.

"You’re not supposed to know," Ares muttered.

"Wrong answer," Xena replied, pulling Ares to his feet. He oofed and ouched until they stood toe to toe. "I want the truth or you’ll be dead before you ever see that tree," Xena pressed as she poked him in the chest with a pointed finger.

Ares looked to Eve and then Xena and then back to Eve again.

"Eve is Gabrielle’s daughter too - flesh and blood."

I knew it! That son of bitch knew the whole time and never said a word. But how... 

"Who gave the helping hand Ares? You? Your sister, Dite?"

"I did," Ares answered. "But it wasn’t help. Call it serendipity. I didn’t know Calli gave you the little twerp when I did the meld."

Serendipity? Meld?... Mavican!

"When you put Gabrielle and I in one body then-."

"Part of Gabrielle became part of Eve," Ares finished. "Her love of scrolls, her blue-green eyes, her bad temper," he chuckled. "Boy does that bard of yours have a temper when pushed, Xena. Worse than you or Callisto. Sometimes worse than the two of you put together... Eve’s that way too whether she admits it or not." He smirked.

"Wow," Herc mutter in amazement from his bedroll.

"You said it," Eve reiterated. "So I actually have three mothers?" she asked Ares who answered with a nod. "This is incredible... So Gabrielle IS my mom... We’ve got to find he, Mother! We’ve got to let her know," Eve said to Xena taking a step closer.

"Well, first things first. Tomorrow we get that damn fruit and you my dear ex-god of war will kindly get the hell outta our lives. You got that?" Xena said continuing to poke him in the chest with the end of every sentence.

"Yeah, I got it," Ares answered without argument. "Now that the family tree is all in order do you mind if we get some rest?"

He didn’t wait for a reply. He crawled back under his bedroll and covered up. Herc followed suit.

"Come on," Xena said tugging her daughter to their bedrolls. "Let’s at least TRY to get some sleep."

Eve agreed and they snuggled into the bedroll, getting situated for some shuteye. Eve cleared her throat a bit and asked, "Do I really have mom’s eyes?"

"Yes," she heard three voices answer. "Now go to sleep," Ares mumbled gruffly.

Xena and Eve gave a chuckle. "He’s awful grumpy since he’s lost his godhood, isn’t he?" Eve teased.

"I heard that," Ares said.

"Ares," Hercules piped in. "Shut up and go to sleep."

"I think everyone should shut up at this point... Starting now," Xena ordered.

Eve lay next to her mother and watched her. Xena’s eyes were closed and she was beginning to breathe deep. My mother... the hero. And if you don’t find her... I know I will.

"I love you, Mother," Eve whispered.

"I love you too, Evie."

Continue to Part III

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