Natalia takes as deep a breath as she can muster and says,
"I’m scared God hates me for what I’ve done."
Olivia continues to stroke Natalia’s hair as the woman
sobs at her breast. Her response to the statement has no
hesitation and contains boatloads of conviction.
"No one could ever hate you," she tells her with
I wish that were true, but I know that it’s not.
"Frank could… the way I led him on." When what
I wanted all along was you. Natalia pulls back and looks
at Olivia, trying to read her reaction to that fact; wondering
if she’ll even question if that sentence has a deeper
meaning. "It was so wrong. I don't know why I couldn't
just turn and walk away." Actually, I do. I wanted to
convince myself I’m not falling for you and make this…attraction…
go away. But in the end, I've hurt him. I've hurt myself. And
now, because of this, I might never have you. How could you
possibly want me if I slept with Frank?
"Stop. Stop being so hard on yourself."
"And you, you shouldn't sit so close to me. Because
God is going to strike me with lightning and you’re gonna
wanna be nice and far away."
Natalia watches Olivia rise and walk toward the fireplace.
It's only a few steps away, but it seems so far to the
raven-haired woman. Natalia moves to the edge of the sofa,
almost as if she’s going to reach out and pull Olivia back
Please come back. I want to rest my head on your bosom
again, feel your fingers dance across my hair and my neck. I
want to keep inhaling that intoxicating scent of your perfume
and the natural scent of your body. I want…all of you. But
you're keeping your distance… and I can't blame you.
"You-you honestly think God is angry with you because
you slept with Frank?" Olivia asks.
"No, because I'm being a hypocrite…doing one thing;
saying another. It’d…" It’d be different if I
loved him… loved him the way I love you. But I don't. And I
used him to fill this void I want you to fill.
"Well, you know what? If that's a sin, then I’m in a
lot of trouble. So…" Olivia clears her throat, "…Hell,
party of two; here we come."
See that? Even in my despair you have a way of making me
smile just a little. I wish I could be like you. I wish I
could just say what's on my mind and be done with it.
"You…" God, I love you. "…you’re
the most honest person I know."
"Not so much lately…"
What does that mean?
"I haven't been truthful with you...with myself…
maybe if I had, you wouldn't have spent the night with
Why does she look like that? Could she…? Does she…? I
think she does. I think she might actually feel the same way,
but stay calm. Don’t show too much. What if I’m wrong?
"What do you mean?"
Why is she so nervous and so scared? Oh, no. She’s
noticed how I feel and she-she doesn’t feel this way too. I’m
Olivia clears her throat slightly. "I don’t know how
to say this. I'm just going to have to tell you the
Or am I a genius? "Olivia, what is it?"
Natalia demands, the suspense tightening like a noose.
Rather than answer the question, Olivia returns to the sofa
and takes Natalia’s hands in hers. She’s shaking and her
breathing is coming in short little gasps.
Oh, God. "Is it your heart?" Natalia asks.
Olivia smiles nervously. "Yes, but not in a way you
might think. I’m, uh, I’m just gonna come out and say
it." She swallows, takes a deep breath and then says,
"I love you."
Did she just –? … As friend…as more…
"What do you mean?" Natalia asked sounding more
"I’m…in love with you. I…I know it’s a sin in
your book. I do. A-And I know if you feel this guilty for
being with Frank, then the chance of you ever loving me the
way I love you is…" Olivia releases a ragged breath out
slowly. "This is pretty pointless, huh? I’m sorry I
brought it up."
She puts on a sad smile that Natalia recognizes.
It’s one you wear when your walls go up…Oh, Olivia.
Please don’t do this.
Olivia’s hands slip from Natalia’s, and she runs her
fingers through her hair self-consciously.
"You know, I’m gonna," she motions toward the
kitchen, "uh, I’m gonna make us some lunch and forget
this conversation ever happened." She gives a firm nod
and says, "Okay then."
She loves me? She loves me too! Oh, no, she’s leaving!
Before Natalia realizes it, she’s on her feet. Olivia is
almost to the doorway, between the kitchen and the living
room, when Natalia spins her body around with more force than
she intended. Olivia looks hurt, embarrassed… distraught.
Her expression reaches into Natalia’s very core and before
she can let her mind talk her heart out of what’s right, she
cups each of Olivia’s cheeks and pulls her face to hers and
kisses her. There’s nothing tentative about the kiss at all.
It speaks to a long held passion, one that‘s been growing
greater and greater with every light touch, every kind word or
every unselfish gesture between the two of them. It’s one
that revels in how protected Olivia makes her feel while also
giving her the courage to take new chances because she
believes in her more than she believed in herself.
And it’s one they’d longed for – not just with each
other, but one they’d wanted their whole lives.
Almost immediately, Olivia pulls back and looks at Natalia
with a sense of confusion mixed with wonderment.
"Natalia?" she questions her optimistically.
No other words are needed, and rather than explain this
kiss, Natalia’s only reply is to pull her back, recapturing
her lips. This time the urgency is gone, however, she still
kisses Olivia with gentle abandon, nipping and sucking
tenderly at the pulpy flesh of Olivia’s lips. Now though,
the older woman is prepared for the attack and she welcomes
the invasion, providing no resistance.
Natalia’s tongue snakes out shyly, as if not sure how
this more intimate gesture will be received for the first
time. She delicately tastes the lip that was pouting only
moments ago, testing the intensity of Olivia’s desire. When
Olivia takes the silent invitation and deepens the kiss by
sucking on Natalia’s tongue, pulling it gently into her own
mouth, Natalia feels her head spin and an ache grow within her
pelvis. Never being kissed so intimately; possessively,
Natalia can’t contain her baritone, desire filled moan. She
begins to stumble slightly, breaking their lip lock
"Sorry," she apologizes sheepishly.
"You okay?" Olivia asks as her hands tighten
their hold on Natalia’s hips to keep her upright.
"I’m anything but okay," she says as she smiles
and buries her head into her neck. "I’m completely in
love with you."
Olivia smiles, unseen by Natalia, as she smoothes her hands
over Natalia’s arm and back.
"You’re trembling," the older woman points out.
"Yeah, but trust me, I’m not scared…"
Natalia nods gently. "I’ve just…I’ve never felt
Olivia can hear the blush in Natalia’s voice and asks,
Natalia clears her throat and whispers a single word.
Natalia then finds the exposed skin of Olivia’s neck too
delectable to resist and her lips start to nibble at her pulse
"Do you feel it too?" the younger woman continues
as she continues to nip at Olivia’s bare flesh, feeling the
ache at her center intensify. Olivia’s resulting moans are
so guttural and primal that Natalia’s hands snake down to
pull her closer by her buttocks.
"Oh, God, yes," Olivia finally answers. She sighs
ardently as her fingers snake their way into Natalia’s hair.
God, her groan is so erotic. I wonder what sounds she’d
make if I…
Before Natalia can second-guess her emerging idea, she
pulls Olivia down for a new round of kisses, savoring the
taste and the velvet softness of Olivia’s lips. As she does
this, one hand works its way down from Olivia’s neck and
over her breast, only to return back up and cup her gently.
Olivia releases a muffled moan and a ragged breath, her lips
still enveloping Natalia’s. With daring she didn’t know
she possessed, the younger woman’s thumb begins to caress
Olivia’s cotton clad nipple, which now resembles a rock hard
pebble. Olivia gasps and stops her in mid-touch by grabbing
"I’m sorry," Natalia says breathless. "I
couldn’t help myself."
"I’m not complaining," Olivia replies with a
smile, while trying to steady her breathing, "But if you
keep this up…we’re gonna end up naked on that sofa over
there. I guarantee it."
"And that would be bad because…?" Natalia let
the question hang with an uncharacteristic look on her face,
one that Olivia hasn’t seen before… one of desire.
Olivia appears as if she is considering the prospect of
Natalia naked and spread eagle on their sofa. She pulls
Natalia toward the couch and pushes her down gently with a
soft thump. With a look of longing and adoration, she
straddles her hips. Natalia’s dimples shined as she looks up
and watches Olivia continue to stroke her hair.
"I want you," Olivia says softly as her fingers
work their way through the black strains. "For so long, I’ve
"I want you too." Natalia whispers. Her eyes
close as she soaks up Olivia’s affection.
"But I can’t have you." That response makes
Natalia open her eyes and look up at Olivia with concern.
"Not yet," Olivia amends. "I promised myself if
I ever fell in love again, I’d do everything
"I’d say you’re succeeding," Natalia says
with a grin.
"Not if I do this with you now," Olivia replies,
her own smile slipping away slightly. "Frank still thinks
he has a girlfriend. And the truth is, he does."
"I told you, I’ve always wanted you. It was a
mistake. I don’t want him."
"He doesn’t know that," Olivia replies.
"And I’ve…been less than faithful in the past…I’m
not going to start our relationship with an infidelity."
Natalia suddenly looks mortified. "I’m an awful
person, aren’t I?"
"No," Olivia tells her as she began to caress her
hair over her ears and down her shoulders. "No. You were
running from what you felt – I know because I did it too. I
pushed you to Frank because I was scared and…part of me
still is; I won’t lie…We have soooo much to work out, but
first thing’s first. I want a clean slate with you, one that
doesn’t include Frank, okay?"
Natalia nods firmly. "Done," she said with great
Suddenly, there’s a knock at the door, pulling them out
of the moment.
"Oh, I hope it’s not Frank," Natalia says.
"I know I have to face him, but not now."
"Maybe they’ll go away," Olivia replies as she
continues to stroke Natalia’s hair.
Natalia rises up for another round of kisses while trying
to pull Olivia down closer to her. When the knock comes again,
before their lips can touch, they both giggle.
"Maybe God is telling us to take things a little
slower?" Olivia offers.
"Maybe, you’re right." Natalia agrees
reluctantly. "But just realize that, for me, this is…beyond
wonderful…and your lips a-and your skin… they’re so soft
and…" Natalia begins to reach up again to caress
Olivia, however, she stops just shy of her bosom that’s only
inches away, tempting her. "But, you’re right. I don’t
want to move too fast and destroy everything we could have. So…slow
and steady wins the race, right?"
"Exactly," Olivia agrees and nods.
Before they can say more, the knock happens again and
Olivia growls. Natalia chuckles and pulls her closer so their
foreheads are touching.
"Patience, Dear," Natalia playfully scolds her.
"Patience? What’s that?" Olivia jokes as she
pulls back slightly.
Natalia grins wickedly, almost seductively. She can hear
Olivia’s breath hitch and she likes this newfound power over
the older woman.
"An attribute I’ll reward in spades someday…well,
if you let me," Natalia replies.
Olivia holds up a finger. "Patience it is then."
Natalia laughs. "If I’d known you’d be this
agreeable after a few kisses I would’ve kissed you months
Olivia tries not to smile. Instead, she pulls Natalia to
her feet and wraps her arm around her waist until their bodies
"You better watch it, Rivera. Turnabout is fair play,
The syrupy smoothness of her voice, the silken quality of
it, is intense. It feels like an embrace that’s very hard to
resist. Natalia finds her lips capturing Olivia’s once more,
knocking door be damned.
Oh yeah, Olivia. This is gonna be fun alright.